Things I'm no longer allowed to do in the DCMS
Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:22 PM
283) Allow non-Kuritans to add to the list of things Kuritans can no longer do.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:46 PM
265) Same for Elvis!
Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:25 PM
284a- Not even if their company uniform looks really good next to ours
284b- Unless we can convince them to take a 'special prototype" with 20T of mercury fulminate strapped to the CT into battle.
285- No longer allowed to post things in this thread that were never allowed in the first place
286- No longer allowed to paint a blue arrow on the head of an Atlas and refit it with tons of jump jets.
286a- No longer allowed to attach a flamer to said 'mech and call it Firebending.
286b- No longer allowed to do similar things with any mechanism capable of propelling earth, water, or air.
287- No longer allowed to set my CO's homepage as the pony thread in the jettisoned communication forum.
Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:25 AM
Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:33 AM
Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:48 PM
283a) As long as they admit they were wrong about separating from House Kurita. (They can still be independent, just as long as they know they were wrong, its alot easier to locate the Scandinavian babes now....)
Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:21 PM
Posted 14 April 2012 - 01:35 PM
Now back on topic.....
285. I am no longer allowed to remind mouthy mercs who are not Wade Wilson that targeting the Marauder MAD-5S with the woodland MARPAT camo scheme, Legion of Vega markings, and the "Foamy the Squirrel" nose art is a very bad idea.
Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:49 PM
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:35 PM
285 - Replace the commander's sake with cherry scented lighter fluid. (sadly yes he downed the bottle before realizing his breath was flammable...)
287 -Publically refer to a charger as "Oh look it's a post-op tranny banshee!"
288 - Publically refer to a Kintaro as "King-Kong with bigger *******"
289 - Publically refer to a Akuma as "The Atlas's imbred brother."
290 - Respond to any meeting with a request of "Ok so before we start how much stabbing or cutting will be involved THIS time?!"
Edited by TKG, 26 April 2012 - 11:38 PM.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:57 PM
291.a. Nor will I insist that said mech be called UrbanMouse.
291.b. Nor will I charge into combat with said mech playing the Mighty Mouse theme song over the external speaker.
292. I am not allowed to refer to my Marauder's gauss rifle as "the fist of an angry god".
Posted 27 April 2012 - 12:57 AM
You tell 'em!
293.) Massacre the innocent
Posted 28 April 2012 - 10:42 PM
You tell 'em!
293.) Massacre the innocent
Considering that there have only been two certifiably insane Coordinators in the Combine's history (Leonard Kurita and Junchiro Kurita) compared to two major psychos just in the 31st century from House Liao (Romano and Kali)............
Posted 28 April 2012 - 10:55 PM
Posted 30 April 2012 - 04:26 PM
Not allowed to paint my mech yellow in hopes my weapons will explode better.
Not allowed to gather a group of teens from across the IS, paint my mech green and blue then ask same children to call me Captain Planet
Not allowed to sprint across the battlefield firing my ACs screaming "DIE KILRATHI SCUM!" at Clanners
Not allowed to "eject the warp core" during training, while walking my mech down the street or anytime really.
Not allowed to use my mechs fusion reactor to make Hot Pockets
Not allowed to use a Flamer to make smores.
Not allowed to sue afore mentioned Flamer to start camp fires.
Not allowed to trade my mech for "magic beans" regardless of how charming the salesman is. Or if he indeed has an uncle the same as I do.
Not allowed to ask Omi of she'd like to step into my mech because I have both puppies AND candy.
Not allowed to brouse Facebook whle on patrol.
Not allowed to load my Company commander's missle tubes and autocannons with flags that say "bang"
Not allowed to approach a town in my assault mech with the external speakers on saying "Death Star will be in firing range in three minutes."
Not allowed to anounce the powered up status of my mech with. "Red 5 standing by."
Not allowed to shut off my Aretims fire control system while alpha striking another mech so I can better channel the Force.
Not allowed to shout "Hey squint eye!" at the local ISF officers.
Not allowed to compaire the looks of Kathrine Steiner-Davion to Omi.
Not allowed to work on my paper machey (sp) project while hot dropping from a dropship.
When visiting Terra, not allowed to run my mech through Chicago blowing up buildings and demanding Matthew Broderik take me for a day of skipping school.
Not allowed to walk my mech backwards everywhere in hopes the odometer will lower.
Not allowed to tell people about my best buddy the imaginary purple dinosaur.
Not allowed to ask Omi if the carpet matches the drapes.
Not allowed to accuse the DEST of trying to steal my Trix.
Not allowed to suggest to Omi new positions she and Victor should try.
Not allowed to paint my mech black and white to conduct pantamime.
Not allowed to communicate with command using cherades.
Not allowed to accuse Coordinator of cheating at Monopoly when I've never played Monopoly with him.
Not allowed to refer to Stratego as the heigh of DCMS military planning.
Not allowed to liken Capellan Confederation military prowess to that of small children,
Not allowed to marry then invade afore mentioned Confederation as a prank.
Not allowed to mount a flamer in my mech's crotch and giggle whenever I point out my "fire crotch"
Not allowed to refer to the ISF as a wreched hive of scum and villany.
Not allowed to ask people A/S/L over open comm channels during battle.
Posted 01 May 2012 - 05:57 AM
Edited by 8100d 5p4tt3r, 01 May 2012 - 05:58 AM.
Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:55 AM
Posted 04 May 2012 - 05:26 AM
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