17 replies to this topic

[Samurai Hanse Davion]

-------=========VOICE OF THE COORDINATOR=========-------

Officially Sanctioned Newspaper Of The Draconis Combine

A Foreword By Newspaper Author, Samurai Hanse Davion:

Through The Star Journal

Cheeps The Eagle Most Slyly

Yet No One Is Tricked

===

On The DCMS' Staggering Victories Against The Federated Suns:

Clan Davion Has Succumbed To Wartime Fatigue. In The Highly Honored Ways Of Bushido, A Cease Fire Has Been Offered To Our Defeated Enemies. Though Some Rightfully Question Why The Slaughter Of FedRats Must Come To A Temporary End, Concerns Are Somewhat Alleviated Thanks To Confused Davions Trying To Return To Planets Liberated By The Dragon, Only To Find Death Before The Cannons Of The Samurai.

On The Failure Of Marik's Unjust And Unlawful Attack Into Draconis Space:

Ha Ha Ha Ha.

On The Clan's Barbaric Siege Of Luthien:

Legions Upon Legions Of Clan Invaders Perish Upon Our Blessed Soil. Reports Have Surfaced That The Coordinator Himself Has Purged The Galaxy Of Galaxies Of Vat Born. Rest Assured That There Is No Victory For The Clans Upon This World. They Die By The Dozen, And Despite The Efforts Of Lesser Houses Purposely Surrendering To The Vile Clanners, Proud Samurai Stand Ready To Return The Rock-Banging Barbarians To The Far Reaches Of Space.

On The Star League Pretenders:

Listen To Their Cries

Souls Of Glass Cannot Save Earth

That Is Our Duty

===

Elsewhere In The Inner Sphere:

I Will Use This Space To Proclaim My Never Ending Love Towards My Orc Wife.

~*MECHWARRIOR OF IMPORTANCE*~

Scoops Kerensky

[Scoops Kerensky]

Woah, hey there. Welcome to House Kurita.

[dervishx5]

[HARDKOR]

Yer wife's sister is pretty hot, any chance you could introduce me?

[Samurai Hanse Davion]

HARDKOR, on 22 February 2015 - 07:28 AM, said:

Yer wife's sister is pretty hot, any chance you could introduce me?

Of Course. Meat Is Back On The Menu, Boys.

[Wingbreaker]

This must continue. It is good to see informative and unbiased analysis of the real situations behind the lines from the inner sphere's perspective.

Bravo, Encore!

[Onionbird]

Wingbreaker, on 22 February 2015 - 08:50 AM, said:

This must continue. It is good to see informative and unbiased analysis of the real situations behind the lines from the inner sphere's perspective.

Bravo, Encore!

House Mortal Kombat thanks Clan Flappy Bird for Words of Encounargement.

[Chef Kerensky]

Dear Coordinator sits in his palace, now adorned with the bones of so many dead clanners and inner sphere traitors, reading the officially sanctioned DCMS newspaper and nodding approvingly. Excellent work, yoku dekimashita.

[shaqtacular]

Feds Think Dragon Fool

Know Not What Havoc We Bring

Die On Our Planet

[Vassago Rain]

[HARDKOR]

That dude looks like what I picture Marik to be.

[bobF]

I have duly subscribed to this newsletter.

[Evogenesis]

A great read. It is good to see that House Kurita now has 2 news feeds espousing different viewpoints.

[Samurai Hanse Davion]

-------=========VOICE OF THE COORDINATOR=========-------

Officially Sanctioned Newspaper Of The Draconis Combine

A Foreword By Newspaper Author, Samurai Hanse Davion:

To Merc Star, I Say:

It Is Hard To Win Battles

When Fighting One's Self

===

On The DCMS' Impressive, Flawless, And Asymmetrical Campaign Against -MS-:

The Wisdom Of Dear Coordinator Will Never Again Be Challenged After The Samurai's Victory Over The Mercenary Rabble. Proving That The Coordinator's "Kill All Merc Pigs" Ideology Is Correct, The Dishonorable Band Of "Fighters" For Hire Quit The Davion Field In Disgrace And Great Shame. Spotted Fleeing For Clan Space On Specially Tailored Jump Ship Circuit Designed Solely For Cowards On The Run, Onlookers Report That The Tearful Wailing Of Merc Star Pilots Was Kin To That Of A Wolf's Pitiful Howl. None Roar As Mightily As The Dragon.

On The Newly Reopened Front With The Free World's League:

A New Front Brought Another Failed Attack On Kuritan Space. Ha Ha Ha Ha. No No, Dear Reader. This Is Not An Old Issue. House Marik Pilots Have Yet Again Found No Success Upon The Dragon's Worlds. When Asked Why They Willingly Seek The Dragon's Wrath, Marik Pilots Where Quick To Point Out That They Were Third-String Warriors, With Little To No Hope Of Besting A True Samurai In Combat. One Must Ponder Deeply On Why These Peasants Dare Tread Where They Are Not Wanted.

On The Davion Squatters Infesting Kentares IV:

Never Before Has

My Sword Arm Been So Tired

The Problem Is Solved

-=EXCLUSIVE=-

A Sneak Peek At New "Warhorn" That Is Sure To Be A Hit:

Elsewhere In The Inner Sphere:

We Have Caputred What We Believe To Be A Transmission Of Clanner Entertainment. What Follows Is But A Taste Of The Three Hour Long Show.

~*MECHWARRIOR OF IMPORTANCE*~

Flecktarn

Edited by Samurai Hanse Davion, 03 March 2015 - 01:53 AM.

[Scoops Kerensky]

A Smart Read For Smart Readers. Ha HA ha.

[GateheaD]

I hope to see an exposé on Item Boy soon

[Taisa Sodai Lopez Kerensky]

Flecktarn is Most Deserving of this Great Honour.

[shaqtacular]

What does the face of a clanner look like?

Back of head as he runs away. Ha Ha Ha.