34 replies to this topic

[DFDelta]

If your shining new Wolfhound was gutted for spare parts to repair a pair of 100 year old Corsairs you might be in the Outworld Alliance.

If your leader has to be rescued every 10 minutes of combat you're most likely in Victor Davions personal mech unit.

If your company leader says stuff like "boy, a Griffin is no battlemech, light things like that are used to pick carrots.", then you might be in a lyran mech unit.

If your leader is paranoid about "them Davies" you might be in a taurian mech unit.

[T S Hawk]

Amechwarrior, on 04 November 2011 - 05:06 PM, said:

If your scout lance has a drop tonnage of 400 tons, you might be a Steiner.

If you can take a gauss rifle to the cockpit and live, you might be a Steiner-Davion.

If you bring a gun to a knife fight, and only use your hands, you might be a clanner.

If your repair manual says "Blake take the wheel!", you might be a comguard.

If your 'mech has 3 PPCs, you might be Awesome.

too funny especially the last is pretty awesome!

[Amechwarrior]

If your opponent has four AC/10s, you might be annihilated.

If you died by JJ to the face, you might have be a Blackened Widow.

If someone has taped a lighter to your ****, you might be a Firestarter.

[Adridos]

If you do not have any idea what the others are talking about, you might be me.

[Amechwarrior]

adridos, on 05 November 2011 - 03:45 AM, said:

If you do not have any idea what the others are talking about, you might be me.

Most of these are in-jokes relating to parts of Battletech fiction. The Lyran Commonwealths (House Steiner) is known for favoring assault and heavy 'mechs. They also have a history of political generals in the ranks that know nothing of waging a war. The Draconis Combine (House Kurita) pulls much of its ruling military tradition from Bushido and feudal Japanese culture, thus the jokes about superiors not having all their fingers or outright killing themselves/ragequit in defeat. The Federated Suns (House Davion) tend to have the most "plot armor" in the books and in one story Victor Steiner-Davion(first son of the rulers of Houses Davion and Steiner, heir to the throne of both nations etc etc) took a gauss rifle to his 'mechs cockpit. This, in game terms is a 125% fatality rate for any mechwarrior, no matter how good. He ends up hospitalized for a bit, not even loosing a tooth or nail for his troubles.

Not going to break down every single in-joke in here but some of them are not story based, yet not apparent to someone not familiar with Mechwarrior or Battletech. Lets take this one:

If your SDR-5V is going critical, you might be Spider-Man.

This makes no sense unless you know that battlemechs have shortened model numbers. The SDR-5V is the model for a 'mech called the "Spider" and going critical is when the reactors core is breached, in some cases releasing radiation. This puts the pilot in a giant radioactive Spider.

Given time, this incarnation of Mechwarrior will grow its own jokes and lingo. But since we know nearly 0 about the game we can only make jokes about things we do know about. Check out some of the "Where do I get started with lore?" threads around here to learn more.

If man on edge of Battletech knowledge, he may be in Periphery State.

[redplauge]

if you fire all of your large er lasers you might be a nova

if you have command meetings in a bordello you might be in a civil war

[Adridos]

Amechwarrior, on 05 November 2011 - 04:31 AM, said:

Most of these are in-jokes relating to parts of Battletech fiction. The Lyran Commonwealths (House Steiner) is known for favoring assault and heavy 'mechs. They also have a history of political generals in the ranks that know nothing of waging a war. The Draconis Combine (House Kurita) pulls much of its ruling military tradition from Bushido and feudal Japanese culture, thus the jokes about superiors not having all their fingers or outright killing themselves/ragequit in defeat. The Federated Suns (House Davion) tend to have the most "plot armor" in the books and in one story Victor Steiner-Davion(first son of the rulers of Houses Davion and Steiner, heir to the throne of both nations etc etc) took a gauss rifle to his 'mechs cockpit. This, in game terms is a 125% fatality rate for any mechwarrior, no matter how good. He ends up hospitalized for a bit, not even loosing a tooth or nail for his troubles.

Not going to break down every single in-joke in here but some of them are not story based, yet not apparent to someone not familiar with Mechwarrior or Battletech. Lets take this one:

If your SDR-5V is going critical, you might be Spider-Man.

This makes no sense unless you know that battlemechs have shortened model numbers. The SDR-5V is the model for a 'mech called the "Spider" and going critical is when the reactors core is breached, in some cases releasing radiation. This puts the pilot in a giant radioactive Spider.

Given time, this incarnation of Mechwarrior will grow its own jokes and lingo. But since we know nearly 0 about the game we can only make jokes about things we do know about. Check out some of the "Where do I get started with lore?" threads around here to learn more.

If man on edge of Battletech knowledge, he may be in Periphery State.

It was a joke, but still, nice to understand more of them.

[The Chief]

If you've just been shocked by the discovery that the hot girl among your captors has appallingly low standards you might be Phelan Kell.

[Amechwarrior]

If man with transforming 'mech escapes from jail, he might be on the LAM.
If by "Draconis Combine" you mean kuritan farming equipment, you might be in the dark ages.

[Chauffeur]

If you and your cobbled together lance pacified a whole planet unsupported and alone, you may have just left Tranquil a smoldering ruin.

If your lancemate tried taking on an annihilator underground by herself in a bushwacker, you may be on a Davion "Clean-Up" mission.

If you got hired by Steiner and betrayed house Liao, then hired by Liao and betrayed Steiner, and then got backstabbed by Liao, and then ended up working for a Davion Front group... you might be an well paid merc company.

If you got betrayed by Steiner while working for them to kill Davions.. You might a broke merc company.

[irishwarrior]

Amechwarrior, on 05 November 2011 - 10:06 PM, said:

If man with transforming 'mech escapes from jail, he might be on the LAM.
If by "Draconis Combine" you mean kuritan farming equipment, you might be in the dark ages.

Lol very punny
If your main anti-'Mech weapon consists of a satchel charge and a grappling hook, you might be in the Grey Death Legion.
If you are an Elemental and you take down an Atlas all by yourself, you might be a Ghost Bear
If you go into battle with the munchies, you might be a Goliath Scorpion

Edited by irishwarrior, 05 November 2011 - 11:25 PM.

[Sly J]

If your 'Mech looks like something Oscar the Grouch would bring to a fight with Godzilla, then you might be in an Urbanmech.

If apostrophes make you nauseous, then you might be a trueborn.

If your 'Mech can turn invisible, then you may think you're playing a Mechwarrior game, (Don't be fooled though. You aren't.)

[Alizabeth Aijou]

Quote

If none of your Corps Leaders can get a five finger discount out of a store because they lack the pre-requisite, you might be in a new-wave House Kurita Merc Corps.

Mercs serving the Combine are actually at the utter bottom of the priority list.
Even an F-rated house unit would get equipment before a Merc would.
Death to Mercenaries and such, issued back in 3028 and still in effect at the time of the clan invasion.

Quote

If your Corps Leader and his Lieutenants resign and delete their characters after a failed campaign, you might be in a Traditionalist House Kurita Merc Corps.

Not unless their commanding officer allows them to do so, bushido and such.

[Adridos]

If you like to destroy tea parties, you might be Clan.

If you like playing Monopoly, you might be one of the house leaders.


The one who explains these two jokes to others gets a cookie *omomomom*, or not.

Edited by adridos, 06 November 2011 - 01:27 AM.

[The Chief]

If someone wonders aloud who you remind them of and someone else coughs and tries to quickly change the subject, you might be Maeve Wolf.