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Tragic Truth - Feedback In Poetry Form


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#1 JFalconer

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 03:52 AM

Have you ever played  
Mechwarrior Online?
If you are not careful,
It’s a huge waste of time.
Careful, it corrodes your soul
Like a seeping caustic lime.
Don’t fall for their trollbait,  
Don’t spend a dime,
They claim to sell convenience,
But this game is pure grind.
  
Newbie corpses are everywhere;
Both mechs and accounts
The grind is beyond hellish -
Impossible to surmount.
The search for C-bills
Leads to no fount.
It takes longer than Florida’s
election recount.

I have twenty-four accounts,
one for every mech,
I use macros and spreadsheets
to keep my passwords in check.
I use cadet bonuses
For the grind is a wreck
Premium time doesn’t reduce
the pain in the neck,
The vanity items blow
And paint: expensive as heck

For upgrading your mechs,
The derpiest mechanics ever:
Buy multiple variants!
And go grinding forever.
You either suck or get nerfed,
Futile, your endeavor.
You can upgrade your mech,
but it always costs you more cheddar.
You’ll spend weeks’ worth of grinding
Just to be a percentage point better.

A grind would be okay
If the gameplay weren’t sh**
Customization is a mess:
Only what your hardpoints permit.
Only the hugest of alphas
Barely score a hit
Solo is dead
To your teammates, submit.
Without double heatsinks,
All loadouts are unfit.
The screen shakes so hard,
Bring your trauma kit.
River city night again?
I’d rather eat a drill bit.

One player among many,
Your decisions don’t matter
Just stay with the group
Or you’ll turn to molten spatter.
Never lead the way,
Always be the latter.
Focus fire you *****,
Or end up on a platter.
Grief your enemy harder,
And to victory you swagger.

I don’t pretend to understand.
How devs can fail this hard
I guess they all went crazy,
like Colonel Renard.
They were the chosen ones,
Now our dreams, left marred.
But it is never too late
To heal even the deepest scars.



I don't want some giant battlefield of mechspam. More is not always better. Go back to half armor values, cut the number of players in a match so focus-fire-griefing isn't the norm, and give us free-for-all. Part of EVERY other Mechwarrior game in existence was "Don't like teams? That's okay, just ignore the blue guys." Hardpoints are just LOL - the mechlab needs to be redone, emulating either Mechwarrior 3 or 4 - not some bizarre hybrid between tabletop and Halo. I would even settle for something along Mechcommander 2's hardpoint system, which would be infinitely sleeker and easier to code.

Edited by JFalconer, 20 September 2013 - 04:05 AM.


#2 Varth Shenon

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 04:32 AM

I wish I have a webcam to make this a song





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