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The Book Of Armaments Of Jonathan Tanner


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#1 Fitzhampton

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 05:27 PM

It is my humble privilege to be asked by our Great Warrior Leader, Lord Jonathan Tanner, (Blessed be) to be the scribe for him, his word and his sword. I am to record the meaningful sayings produced by him and his faithful followers into this "Book of Armaments" (not to be confused with the Book of Armaments of Brother Maynard in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)

The followers of Jonathan Tanner (also know as Lord Tanner, The Tanner and Lord Jonathan, as well as other unprintable but still affectionate titles) are NOT an ecclesiastical group. It is a purely "funitary" (both a fun and military) group. After all this is a game. We are here to have fun and raise Marik high as a House of humor, wit and military might. (Praise Tanner) We are not here, nor do we mean to mock or offend any person or religion. If you take offense remember, we did not give it, you TOOK it.

Now, to the wisdom of Tanner and his warrior-followers, which may or may not make sense to the uninitiated.

The Tanner created Grim Portico out of Legos, and it was good.

Kurita is red,
Rasalhague is blue,
they both suck,
Praise Jonathan Tanner.

The power of the Tanner does not work with the colors of Davion. During Faction Warfare, they must hold down "K" in shame to atone.

Jonathan Tanner is the Holder of Blessed Purple Penguins.

Mass ejections will be on the 13th of each month.

Pugs should go join HHOD and learn Faction Warfare while they tear Davion up from the inside like a gas station burrito. - Brawling Bear

There is no greater joy than bringing doom and despair to Davion pilots.

I hate that guy.

Edited by Fitzhampton, 27 April 2016 - 08:25 PM.


#2 Swagman00

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 05:43 PM

Glory to house Marik and Lord Tanner!

...and beer. Lots and lots of beer.

#3 Brawling Bear

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 06:01 PM

Freedom... and only freedom can create something as magnificent as this.

#4 Pakkrat

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 06:03 PM

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout, Jonathan Tanner smited it down and it never returned again.

Praise be to Jonathan Tanner!

Edited by Pakkrat, 17 April 2016 - 06:06 PM.


#5 yohon1

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 06:04 PM

also **** u to the brawling praise be to johnathan tanner

#6 Swagman00

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 06:25 PM

View PostFitzhampton, on 17 April 2016 - 05:27 PM, said:


Kurita is red,
Rasalhague is blue,
they both suck,
Praise Jonathan Tanner.



I was just thinking of a modified version:

Kurita is cranky
Steiner is stanky
The clans are pathetic at best.
Davion are posers
Lio are just hosers
but Marik runs true to the test.

Edited by Swagman00, 17 April 2016 - 07:39 PM.


#7 Analog Botanist

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 06:31 PM

Praise Tanner.

#8 bayoucowboy

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 07:24 PM

Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free. Emma Lazarus

And we will teach them how to play FW with fearlessness and ferocity. bayoucowboy, HHOD 1C :)

#9 Pakkrat

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 08:25 PM

And on the second wave Jonathan Tanner said "Let there be Lights!".

#10 Brawling Bear

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 08:26 PM

We are the Alpha to your Omega!

#11 Pakkrat

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 08:57 PM

And Jonathan Tanner was angry with the Davions and it rained LRMs for 7 waves and 7 fights!

#12 bayoucowboy

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:32 AM

And on the 8th fight he rested...

And HHOD took back all of their planets by chatting about mech builds while waiting for the 10 minute dry drop counter to finish. ;)

#13 MovinTarget

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 05:20 AM

So wait, the born-again-birds are talking all this smack and they don't even face or if they do, its hiding behinds lurms?

What was in that cool-aid they were handing out???

#14 yohon1

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 12:19 PM

commandments
1 thaw shall attempt not to team kill
2 do not give the scribe a gun

Edited by yohon1, 18 April 2016 - 12:20 PM.


#15 Brawling Bear

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 12:37 PM

I recall a day where the Jaguars touched the borders of Marik... and were instantly repelled.

#16 shameless

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 01:54 PM

I recall a day when 228, KCOM, and MS ruled the FW battlefield.... oh wait that was yesterday, and pretty much the last three seasons..

#17 bayoucowboy

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 02:39 PM

and the fun banter dies...

#18 pwnface

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 02:48 PM

what is this garbage?

#19 MaxFool

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:07 PM

View PostBrawling Bear, on 18 April 2016 - 12:37 PM, said:

I recall a day where the Jaguars touched the borders of Marik... and were instantly repelled.


I recall a day when MS pushed Smoke Jaguar all the way into Marik territory, switched to Marik now that they had clan border, and next day Kurita took away Mariks attack lane into Smoke Jaguar. MS was quite pissed off, being stranded in Marik with only IS borders.

I mean, come on, bragging it like Marik repelled evil clanners themselves, when it was Kurita that cut off the border.

#20 War Steiner

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:22 PM

Come now. We were taking a CSJ planet a day until some unscrupulous snakes and lying Lyran trash ruined our fun. We actually sent MS to play with Davion while we kicked around CSJ.

A noble Lyran or an honorable Kuritan would have allowed us an attack lane to help you. You expected us to defend your planets that you were hemorrhaging. I don't think so. I rather have a Ghost Bear or Smoke Jag as a neighbor than a back stabbing snake.

Tanner (word).

War Steiner, Capt
1FWG, FWLM





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