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A Little List


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#1 Kael Posavatz

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Posted 14 August 2016 - 10:36 AM

Going back through my archives I turned up this little piece I did for Clan Wolf International that I never posted here. Since this dates back to Fall 2014, it is possible that the list is need of...revising.

(To the tune of: 'A Little List' from "The Mikado" By Gilbert and Sullivan)

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I have a little list, it is called the Dezgra list!
Of society offenders who might well be underground
and who never would be missed, they never would be missed

There are pugs who pilot atlases and those who never should
And those who think the Locust is very, very good
The ones who drop against you in 12-mans who go 'squawk'
Whose jabbering inspires you to turn their mechs to junk
That Catapult with the L-R-Ms that always seem to miss,
I'm sure they won't be missed, so I put them on the list.

You can put them on the list, you can put them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.

Those who don't know the difference between Clans and players' guilds
And that Forum-troll poster-ist, that bore would not be missed!
Mech-jocks whose only heavies run dual AC-20 build
Stravag boom-jaegerists! I put them on the list!
And the Speed-Cappers and Spider-drivers and leggers of any kind
And all Assualt mechs that specialize in bringing up the behind
And then there is that Raven that simply won't take a peek,
but would rather hide behind your legs so that you can't retreat
And that 'hot-shot' who cries 'cheater' whenever his shots miss,
Because I torso twist, I don't think he'll be missed

He's got them on the list...

Impatient players who claim a 15 minute match as 'far too long'
I'll put them on the list. I'll make them play through...MYST!
On Friday nights the pugs who think charging arena can't be wrong
I wish they would desist, and their sucicides resist
The future content 'coming soon'--yes Crimson Straits is good
But to say the same of others, well, I really wish I could
Those pick-up gamers who move pre-mades and decry every map
who mostly can't set their weapon groups and shoot you in the back
Those who on the forums post only that 'the Developers Lied'
The point you've bloody missed, so why don't you take up whist?

He's got them on the list...

Then all the spider-blighters and the hit-boxes they flout,
and the back capper-ist, I put it on the list!
Jumper sniper gauss-Highlander with headshot aim-bot assist
The one that can not miss, I put it on the list
There are 3-P-V and nerfed P-P-Cs and the complainers about both
And those who continue to decry the current lack of pilot growth
Instead of waiting for the user interface Two-point-oh,
And for Community Warfare which will change the face of M-W-O
And every single goon, that I would put upon the list,
to their mills it's simply grist, so I think I shall resist

But WE will put them on the list, we will...

And all the folks at IGP I will put upon my list
See how long this list? I really am quite...upset
Those players who think that role-playing is a bore
and all of those who've never bothered to read the lore
And those rushing around each map who only play the meta-game
You know the ones I mean, they put the 'power gamer' to shame
And you-know-who, what's-his-Name that PGI says will not be missed
Well, he wasn't on my list. He wasn't on the list.

He wasn't on the list? Someone wasn't on the list.
Quite possibly he'll be missed. There's someone who'll be missed!

#2 BSODomizer

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 05:16 AM

This is great poetry. Bravo, my friend.

You are not on my list.





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