15 replies to this topic

[Carrioncrows]

There was No Locust fluff for the PGI Artwork so I wrote one -

Part 4: http://mwomercs.com/...-phoenix-fluff/
Part 3: http://mwomercs.com/...-phoenix-fluff/
Part 2: http://mwomercs.com/...-phoenix-fluff/

Part 1
--------------------------------

The waiting always got to her.

Alysen could feel sweat trickling down her back and despite the cooling vest it was beginning to be stifling in her Locust’ Cockpit and if it was possible for someone to see her that would of found it odd as Her Locust was exactly where It needed be, idling behind cover amidst the frozen landscape of rubble and ice.

She checked her readouts for the hundredth time checking her position and that of Lancemates. If it wasn't for the strict order to maintain radio silence she would dial up her lancemates with her own personal version of “Are we there yet?” but unable to do so she was stuck to fidgeting within the cockpit’s electronics, checking and rechecking.



The frustration was beginning to get to her.

...wait.

She paused.

She could feel it, softly at first but then with gradual intensity, the “thoom Thoom THoom” of heavy footfalls, Footfalls that could only be that of another Battlemech, multiple Battlemechs at that.

She specifically chose this cover among the buildings so that if the enemy mounted MAG-Scan they would be unable to differentiate the metal of her mech from the metal in the buildings around her so she knew her cover was nearly total. This particular area was one of the few passes capable of supporting a major advance by heavy mechanized and Battlemech forces which meant it was only a matter of time before the enemy advanced through the area and all she had to do is wait for them to come to her.

-THOom THOOm THOOM-

Her heart skipped a beat. It was time.

She rammed the throttle forward and her Locust rocketed out behind the cover turning, aiming to drive her locust between the enemy’s lance.

Surprise was Total.

A Battlemaster, Hunchback, and two other mechs she couldn’t see seemed to do a stutter step as their pilots fought to react and track her Locust.

Alysen smiled viciously

She rotated to the left still accelerating and cut lose with her center torso mounted medium laser and arm mounted machine guns slashing the Battlemaster’s torso with the laser and pocketing the mech with a torrent of incoming shells.

The Battlemaster tried in vain to turn to bring its weapons to bear rotating its torso and turning.

“Too late!” she laughed has her locust dove behind the Battlemaster and put a building between her and the hunchback as enemy lasers went wide unable to track Her.

“Now to goad the bull” Alysen thought.

She slammed her throttle’s to zero and then engaged reverse causing the Locust to skid to a halt ploughing furrows into the Icy landscape as the mech fought for traction to stop and then to reverse just enough to get an angle on the Battlemaster.

The Battlemaster was beginning to turn back to its original heading when Alysen’s medium laser struck it in its right rear torso and sent a torrent of shells hammering into the mech. She knew the Hunchback was close and if the Hunch cleared the building it would be fatal for her but she needed to make a point as she kept up a continuous stream of shells on target. The Battlemaster no doubt annoyed came to a full stop and began to turn to give Alysen its full attention. Alysen que’d her communications.

“Boomer, Flashfire, Crocker, Hook set.” She said into her Coms. She slammed the throttle forward and leaned forward to fight the G forces as her Locust caught traction screaming upwards of 120kph in only a few moments.

She regretted that she didn’t have time stay and watch but she knew what was about to happen. Her Lancemates Boomer, Flashfire and Crocker just walked out of cover to get line of sight on the Battlemaster, the Battlemaster that turned in an attempt to track her now had its Rear Arc facing directly at her Lancemate’s Highlander, Thunderbolt and Blackjack.

The Locust cockpit no longer felt stifling, it felt more like a second skin.

Alysen laughed as she heard her lancemates open up with an avalanche of fire.

Edited by Carrioncrows, 21 September 2013 - 04:52 AM.

[3Xtr3m3]

NICE!
Very enjoyable read.

[Rhanne]

Fantastic:D awesome story.

[kesuga7]

yea where was my lovely story with the concept art!

[Donner]

Awesome story and artwork!

[Carrioncrows]

Thx for the feedback.

I edited it for Flow.

[CrashieJ]

here's an idea

all 4 of "Phoenix Lance"'s stories HAVE to be interconnected in some way or another.

[Gilfner]

Very Cool! You are hired!

[Calon Farstar]

Carrioncrows, on 05 July 2013 - 04:29 AM, said:

There was No Locust fluff for the PGI Artwork so I wrote one -

--------------------------------

The waiting always got to her.

Alysen could feel sweat trickling down her back and despite the cooling vest it was beginning to be stifling in her Locust’ Cockpit and if it was possible for someone to see her that would of found it odd as Her Locust was exactly where It needed be, idling behind cover amidst the frozen landscape of rubble and ice.

She checked her readouts for the hundredth time checking her position and that of Lancemates. If it wasn't for the strict order to maintain radio silence she would dial up her lancemates with her own personal version of “Are we there yet?” but unable to do so she was stuck to fidgeting within the cockpit’s electronics, checking and rechecking.



The frustration was beginning to get to her.

...wait.

She paused.

She could feel it, softly at first but then with gradual intensity, the “thoom Thoom THoom” of heavy footfalls, Footfalls that could only be that of another Battlemech, multiple Battlemechs at that.

She specifically chose this cover among the buildings so that if the enemy mounted MAG-Scan the would be unable to differentiate the metal of her mech from the metal in the buildings around her so she knew her cover was nearly total. This particular area was one of the few passes capable of supporting an major advance by heavy mechanized and Battlemech forces which meant it was only a matter of time before the enemy advanced through the area and all she had to do is wait for them to come to her.

-THOom THOOm THOOM-

Her heart skipped a beat. It was time.

She rammed the throttle forward and her Locust rocketed out behind the cover turning, aiming to drive her locust between the enemy’s lance.

Surprise was Total.

A Battlemaster, Hunchback, and two other mechs she couldn’t see seemed to do a stutter step as their pilots fought to react and track her Locust.

Alysen smiled viciously

She rotated to the left still accelerating and cut lose with her center torso mounted medium laser and arm mounted machine guns slashing the Battlemaster’s torso with the laser and pocketing the mech with a torrent of incoming shells.

The Battlemaster tried in vain to turn to bring its weapons to bear rotating its torso and turning.

“Too late!” she laughed has her locust dove behind the Battlemaster and put a building between her and the hunchback as enemy lasers went wide unable to track Her.

“Now to goad the bull” Alysen thought.

She slammed her throttle’s to zero and then engaged reverse causing the Locust to skid to a halt ploughing furrows into the Icy landscape as the mech fought for traction to stop and then to reverse just enough to get an angle on the Battlemaster.

The Battlemaster was beginning to turn back to its original heading when Alysen’s medium laser struck it in its right rear torso and sent a torrent of shells hammering into the mech. She knew the Hunchback was close and if the Hunch cleared the building it would be fatal for her but she needed to make a point as she kept up a continuous stream of shells on target. The Battlemaster no doubt annoyed came to a full stop and began to turn to give Alysen its full attention. Alysen que’d her communications.

“Boomer, Flashfire, Crocker, Hook set.” She said into her Coms. She slammed the throttle forward and leaned forward to fight the G forces as her Locust caught traction screaming upwards of 120kph in only a few moments.

She regretted that she didn’t have time stay and watch but she knew what was about to happen. Her Lancemates Boomer, Flashfire and Crocker just walked out of cover to get line of sight on the Battlemaster, the Battlemaster that turned in an attempt to track her now had its Rear Arc facing directly at her Lancemate’s Highlander, Jagermech and Blackjack.

The Locust cockpit no longer felt stifling, it felt more like a second skin.

Alysen laughed as she heard her lancemates open up with an avalanche of fire.

Excellent keep it up!

[Carrioncrows]

gavilatius, on 06 July 2013 - 12:21 AM, said:

here's an idea

all 4 of "Phoenix Lance"'s stories HAVE to be interconnected in some way or another.

Deal i'll finish the story and release them as the artwork comes in...though i have to edit a mech above to make it cohesive.

[LinkIcefang]

That really was good! Unlike PGI's most recent fluff, which felt forced and unpolished, this was a thoroughly enjoyable read - which incidentally helped me with my own writer's block.

There are some minor errors in grammar and some places where the word choice seems a bit awkward (MGs don't really hammer), but overall it is a very nicely done piece of fluff. PGI should definitely let you write their fluff from now on. (Garth, we all love you, but you're not a writer.)

I definitely look forward to your upcoming works.

Edited by LinkIcefang, 03 August 2013 - 06:03 PM.

[Carrioncrows]

LinkIcefang, on 03 August 2013 - 06:02 PM, said:

That really was good! Unlike PGI's most recent fluff, which felt forced and unpolished, this was a thoroughly enjoyable read - which incidentally helped me with my own writer's block.

There are some minor errors in grammar and some places where the word choice seems a bit awkward (MGs don't really hammer), but overall it is a very nicely done piece of fluff. PGI should definitely let you write their fluff from now on. (Garth, we all love you, but you're not a writer.)

I definitely look forward to your upcoming works.

lol, Ty. In all honestly it's been forever since college so unless the Microsoft word program catches it, I am really at a loss.

I love telling stories, i'm just not that good at the technical bits.

Edited by Carrioncrows, 03 August 2013 - 07:09 PM.

[LinkIcefang]

Carrioncrows, on 03 August 2013 - 06:11 PM, said:

lol, Ty. In all honestly it's been forever since college so unless the Microsoft word program catches it, I am really at a loss.

I love telling stories, i'm just not that good at the technical bits.

That's totally understandable, don't worry 'bout it. I just wanted to point out the errors so you'd be aware of them. Editing is something I enjoy and as a writer, I enjoy constructive criticism, so I thought I'd offer some.

[Carrioncrows]

LinkIcefang, on 03 August 2013 - 07:30 PM, said:

That's totally understandable, don't worry 'bout it. I just wanted to point out the errors so you'd be aware of them. Editing is something I enjoy and as a writer, I enjoy constructive criticism, so I thought I'd offer some.

Well i'll bounce the future stories off of you when I finish them, if you'd be up for it maybe you could point out the discrepancies.

[LinkIcefang]

Carrioncrows, on 03 August 2013 - 07:32 PM, said:

Well i'll bounce the future stories off of you when I finish them, if you'd be up for it maybe you could point out the discrepancies.

I'd love to do that. Look forward to working with you, in the future.

[Carrioncrows]

Updated. Enjoy all.

Someone asked me to do the Saber Pack fluff, and I think it's a grand idea. Though I don't think i will be able to fit it in the same scenario as the 4 parts above.