23 replies to this topic

[Purplefluffybunny]

The map was Alpine Peaks and the game mode, assault. One bright spark whose name began with K advised the team to go south. Quite a few of them were in heavies, so slowly they plodded along the southern side of the map for a reason that could not be fathomed. Mr K's schemes were beyond the intellect of this little bunny!

Many counseled Mr K that his plan was unsound as it ran the risk of missing the enemy's advance to the North or even missing a central push onto our home base. Going to the extreme south in slow mechs, meant that most of the map was left to the enemy and they were quick to exploit the noobishness of the team and captain noob himself, Mr K.

What caught this little bunny's ire was that Mr K thought himself not a noob. A man of experience and good fortune he did cry but alas like all noobs, he could not spot his error and quickly passed away.

Edited by Purplefluffybunny, 24 April 2013 - 06:24 PM.

[torgian]

Nice. You should make a poem.

[Pariah Devalis]

And verily did the rest of the team follow the questionable plan of Mr. K despite the common sense alerts blaring between their ears.....

[Davers]

Too bad 'Betty can't chime in "Bad Plan Detected".

[Khan Reaper]

Oh no!!! My name begins with a K....and I've played Alpine Peaks! I suck.

[Fantastic Ergo]

Morale?
Never follow an MIB agent. Specially MR. K
If someone jumps of the building, don't jump of the building yourself.
If you did both, press the eject button and rename yourself MR.K

[Zphyr]

Ah, I wonder if it's the same fine gentleman that quickly assumed leadership and sent so many "wonderful" remarks about his experience and skills, telling us seven 80 to 100 tons to follow his strangely slow cent... then, as quick as he started, decided to stand still in the middle of Alpine's beautiful valleys without cover, not knowing what to do. Moments later, we totally did not weep his tragically explosive rest... not exactly in peace, as he disconnected shortly after dramatically capslocking.

[Ohari]

who said anything about following the orders of Mr. K
Many officers have been killed by their subordinates for issuing moronic orders in many a war...

shoulda cored him and moved to the center.

[NinetyProof]

Sticking together is almost always the best plan, even if your a little "off target". You can always *adjust* when the scouts actually scout and report the positions of the opponents main body.

Wait ... let me guess ... nobody went to scout at all? they were tooooo busy trying to tell others what to do instead of just doing their jobs? Doesn't surprise me.

Where you *start* going is seldom as important as how you adjust to the changing circumstances of the match. Rarely does splitting the group work out well. Flanking = good, Splitting off to go center because that is what you normally do = bad.

[Scromboid]

You got trolled.

It's funny to see sometimes what other people will do when you tell them to do something that makes absolutely no logical sense

[Screech]

I am fairly certain this is the first "Tactical Debriefing" that had "noobs" in the title. Man its like Seal Team 6 in here.

[HarmAssassin]

I've found that the best tactic on most maps is to split into two groups. Either 4 and 4 or 6 and 2, once the enemy is spotted the group that spotted them just hangs back and keeps their attention while the other group gets in behind them. Once in place, both groups press in and catch the enemy in between them.

Can't count how many times I've been called a noob for trying to flank, only to end up with a win and 3-5 kills using that tactic.

[M4NTiC0R3X]

Noob this 'n noob that, I suck, you suck.. we all suck.

Sums it up nicely.

[Dauphni]

Remember, ever since they implemented Elo, if your team seems filled with noobs, you must be one yourself too!

[Mawai]

NinetyProof, on 25 April 2013 - 09:28 AM, said:

Sticking together is almost always the best plan, even if your a little "off target". You can always *adjust* when the scouts actually scout and report the positions of the opponents main body.

Wait ... let me guess ... nobody went to scout at all? they were tooooo busy trying to tell others what to do instead of just doing their jobs? Doesn't surprise me.

Where you *start* going is seldom as important as how you adjust to the changing circumstances of the match. Rarely does splitting the group work out well. Flanking = good, Splitting off to go center because that is what you normally do = bad.

I agree with everything you say ... except it doesn't really apply to this story.

Going a little south or north of the line between the bases gives you some maneuvering room. However, going far north or far south on a map the size of Alpine with slow mechs will leave you out of position to deal with a base cap (unless you have some fast mechs which doesn't seem indicated by the story). If the opposing team follows the usual routes they will arrive at the defending base long before the side that took the tactically disadvantaged route can reach the opposing base ... and will win.

On the other hand, on Alpine, a lot of the big heights are in the middle. By taking the southern edge you are ceding the heights to the opposing team. If they find out where you are by scouting they will be sniping from the big hills while you try to slip through the small ones on the southern edge and they will still be closer to your base than you will be to theirs.

Overall, going that far south on that map just isn't a great plan. On the other hand, going somewhat south can be quite good since it changes up the game a bit.

Edited by Mawai, 26 April 2013 - 06:21 AM.

[AnubiteGroove]

torgian, on 24 April 2013 - 07:22 PM, said:

Nice. You should make a poem.

Requiem of a Tragic Loss.

Edited by AnubiteGroove, 28 April 2013 - 05:09 PM.

[White Bear 84]

Pariah Devalis, on 24 April 2013 - 07:39 PM, said:

And verily did the rest of the team follow the questionable plan of Mr. K despite the common sense alerts blaring between their ears.....

So the rest of the team must have been noobs too if they followed him?

[Furieth]

I wasn't in that match - but a few that went similar. And yes, I may be a noob still - but i'm learning with every match and every bad decision made.

[Mr G]

Bringing shame down upon the rest of us Mr's. It's quite the tragedy.

Oh and there is no such thing as MIB Fantastic Ergo...you've been warned!

[Kobra Kommander]

I want to change my name to Mr. K after this post.