56 replies to this topic

[Azkar Almsivi]

House Steiner is in need of able bodied Mechwarriors to bolster it's forces! Our social generals and various nobles who get confused when they aren't talking about tea or the weather are unsure about how to deal with the fact that we're not bringing in the number of new recruits we should be bringing in. So they're chucking money at the problem. Chucking the money at people like me, who are not qualified, but alas, they don't have very good ideas when it comes to anything military related often. I just used a word that ryhmes with a very big reason you should come over to the giant blue fist.

Alas, or rather, ATLAS. House Steiner loves the Atlas. Do you love the Atlas? Then you belong in House Steiner. You don't like the Atlas? Son, you must be confused. The Atlas has many amazing features that other mechs in and out of it's class simply don't have. If you join House Steiner you could do extraordinary things!
Like Atlas running, Atlas blasting, Atlas flanking, Atlas ramming, Atlas suppression fire, Atlas charging, Atlas jogging, Atlas turning, Atlas aiming, Atlas winning.

Huh? Atlas winning? That's right, if you join House Steiner our rich classy people will stick you in an Atlas, a classy Atlas. You'll be so classy and rich you could get a huge tailor made top hat riveted on top of your Atlas. Other houses think you look silly? Mercs and Clanners calling you a *******? If you're in House Steiner they just lack refined taste, but you don't pick them up on it because you're a gentlemen.

That's right! Being in a House Steiner Atlas makes you a GENTLEMEN. You'll be so gentle women will tell you their problems, but won't complain when you fall asleep because you'll be in an ATLAS. Plus being in House Steiner means you will have MONEY, money to buy ladies THINGS. You'll have money for equipment, weapons and mechs. You won't need more mechs because you have an Atlas, a walking fortress. Your Atlas would be so impregnable and you would be so classy you'll be able to just waltz through the enemy.

"But Azkar! I love my current house and the House Steiner leadership sounds kind of dumb!"
We don't have swords in our emblems, we don't have animals or disturbing non-fist related imagery. We have a giant blue gauntlet, an armored fist. If you join House Steiner you will be gripping your fate in an armored fist, then showering that fate with money, showering it in Atlas'.

"But I like utility and love the feel of my current house/being free."
Well you don't seem to understand how versatile the Atlas is. It can easily perform the roles of scout, medium, heavy and assault.

"The Atlas is too slow!"
The tortoise beat the hare and then melted his pathetic, non-classy form with his lasers. How? That tortoise was actually an Atlas. Why was it an Atlas? The Atlas makes you WIN.

This ad may seem annoying, or just another badly organised plot by House Steiner.

But in reality we can feel you all out there. Men and women yearning for class, rank and money. Yearning for the might of the only mech worth your time. Join us brothers and sisters. Bolster House Steiner. Attend our tea parties. You belong here and together we can give the enemy what they deserve. A mighty good fisting.

[Insidious Johnson]

Idk, the whole Katrina thing. Maybe go down to Home Depot parking lot and scrounge through those looking for day jobs. The guy with the sign that says "Will work for Treason" would be a sure bet though.

[LaorDeLove]

What Katrina thing? This is 3049. Katrina was an excellent Archon, but Melissa, Katrina's daughter, does a superb job holding the Lyran side of the Federated Commonwealth together. Oh by the way, don't forget about the true scout of the Lyran's... THE ZEUS!! 80 Tons of LOVE!!!

[Damocles]

I think the constant pushing of the assault mech+social general stereotype is becoming a detriment to this House. (And its not entirely true.)

And as Illustrated by Insidious Johnson, those who have played the MW4 campaign will no doubt have a terrible viewpoint of House Steiner.

/Damo

[Starne]

That's right folks, House Steiner has three things, and has a lot of those things. Assault Mechs, Class, and Money. Honestly, what more do you need?

[Azkar Almsivi]

We Lyrans detest the rabble who claim our mechs are "too slow".
We just leave you a little more time to fear your demise.

Edited by Azkar Almsivi, 09 April 2012 - 09:05 PM.

[Soviet Alex]

OK, that sales pitch made me laugh. But last night whilst scanning the Melissa Steiner-Davion pic for you folks, I noticed something odd. The House Steiner logo in the Battletech CCG was a red fist on a blue background. Which is right?

[The Destinator]

I think they're both right... To my knowledge the Lyran alliance's symbol was a red fist on a blue backround. The Lyran Commonwealth was the blue fist you see here... Or wait... I think I have that backwards... Ugh, somebody clarify!

And to be honest what Katherine did was a major dick move. The FedCom was fine until her power hungry self decided to ruin it all.(Hence the reason I may switch to Davion if we ever get to the FedCom civil war)

[Corbon Zackery]

My good friend [color="#ffa504"]Azkar Almsivi[/color] has had to much to drink my friends. There are some in House Steiner alliance that are willing run around in a 35 to 50 ton mechs slapping NARC Beacons on the hull of mechs for those LRM 20 missles or TAG for that massive artillery strike.

This why you don't mingle with the non-com's or invite them to partys the wine just goes to the brain and the next day you find yourself scrubbing PPC Capacitors for the next 24 hours.

As a Captain for House Steiner in charge of Foxwolf Lance I can tell you that when it comes to battle.

1. Hire a merc unit to confuse the enemy. (That is what your fat paycheck is for after all.)
2. Once the merc unit has punched holes in the line send in scouts to disrupt supply lines.
3. Once supply lines are cut then The Sgt. Azkar Almsivi and his Atlas can move fwd. with mercs on the flanks sweeping up the line.
4. Retreating enemys are then destroyed by the mechs in the rear areas in the chaos of the retreat.
5. If all other option fail evacuate, and nuke the populated area slash and burn everything.

(Swirles his wine while thinking about spilling it on the lady next to him so he gets reassinged to a nice garrision on the far side of the Clan invasion area.)

Yes the life of a House Steiner officer is wonderus! (Oh my god! I am so sorry my dear! I'm sure some club soda will get that out. I don't know what my friend was thinking bumping me like that what do you mean your father will hear about this.)

[2 weeks latter:]

What do you mean I have been reassigned! I realize that this is a important Mech factory! Yes sir the Commando is a fine Mech! I would love to command the garrision who did you say recomended me!

Thanks

[Azkar Almsivi]

Corbon Zackery, on 10 April 2012 - 03:40 AM, said:

My good friend [color=#ffa504]Azkar Almsivi[/color] has had to much to drink my friends. There are some in House Steiner alliance that are willing run around in a 35 to 50 ton mechs slapping NARC Beacons on the hull of mechs for those LRM 20 missles or TAG for that massive artillery strike.

This why you don't mingle with the non-com's or invite them to partys the wine just goes to the brain and the next day you find yourself scrubbing PPC Capacitors for the next 24 hours.

As a Captain for House Steiner in charge of Foxwolf Lance I can tell you that when it comes to battle.

1. Hire a merc unit to confuse the enemy. (That is what your fat paycheck is for after all.)
2. Once the merc unit has punched holes in the line send in scouts to disrupt supply lines.
3. Once supply lines are cut then The Sgt. Azkar Almsivi and his Atlas can move fwd. with mercs on the flanks sweeping up the line.
4. Retreating enemys are then destroyed by the mechs in the rear areas in the chaos of the retreat.
5. If all other option fail evacuate, and nuke the populated area slash and burn everything.

(Swirles his wine while thinking about spilling it on the lady next to him so he gets reassinged to a nice garrision on the far side of the Clan invasion area.)

Yes the life of a House Steiner officer is wonderus! (Oh my god! I am so sorry my dear! I'm sure some club soda will get that out. I don't know what my friend was thinking bumping me like that what do you mean your father will hear about this.)

[2 weeks latter:]

What do you mean I have been reassigned! I realize that this is a important Mech factory! Yes sir the Commando is a fine Mech! I would love to command the garrision who did you say recomended me!

Thanks

Why can I afford this wondrous beverage to relieve me of my senses? House Steiner! That's why. I've defended many worlds for House Steiner in my Atlas. Reason I'm still a sergeant? My family isn't that high up and when pauper eyes gaze upon my 100 tons of pure refined class and power, well they either try and flank me and get intercepted by my comrades or run away.

Plus it turns out insulting nobles and turning down propositions of ghastly noble ladies is looked down on. Go figure!

[Pheonixwolf]

i may join y'all just for the laughs that would be sure to follow.

[Trevnor]

Nice sales pitch! LOL But I like my mead and Longboat dropships too much to get with the Steiner's.

[Azkar Almsivi]

Pheonixwolf, on 11 April 2012 - 06:31 AM, said:

i may join y'all just for the laughs that would be sure to follow.

We do know how to have fun. I remember when we caught Duke Siegfried in the guest room at a certain royal tea party with 6 of the maids! Shame the duchess was a mechwarrior and her Commando was on the grounds.

Picked him up and popped his head off like the cork from a champagne bottle! HA!

Did I mention we have money? During my last set of security patrols I earned so much I bought myself an overcoat with "My other Atlas is your filthy Draconis Combine mother!" embroidered in gold across the back. Plus our House's defensive stance means everyone looks up to us as their stalwart defenders. When you get bored you can write your name on the sides of hills and such with your medium lasers while on guard (although it MIGHT be frowned upon).

Being a Lyran requires a certain type of person, cut from the proper cloth.
Who are we kidding, we need more people to replace all these nobles who keep mistakenly ejecting themselves during training exercises. I swear I have had to pluck Lord Geoffrey out of a tree a dozen times now!

[Moncai Icaza]

Hello, Grunts, look at your mech, now back to mine, now back at your mech, now back to mine. Sadly, it isn't mine, but if you stopped using medium mechs and switched to an atlas,it could fight like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? in a fight with the mech your mech could fight like. What’s its head, back at me. I have it, a skull with a look to terffy your enemys. Look again, my AC20 is destroying your heat shields. Anything is possible when your mach is in a lyran unit. I’m on a hot drop.” [drive a real mech, lyran alliance]

[Bindusara]

I'm not gonna lie, this post has really put points in Steiners favor for when I choose my allegiance.

[LaorDeLove]

Lyran Commonwealth is the defensive nation. They don't attack first, but when they do, it is like getting punched with a gauntlet.

[Sevronis]

Well it really came down to the Draconis Combine or House Steiner for me. I'm more familiar with the Combine, but Steiner seems to be able to give a little more earned respect instead of bought respect. Not to mention I do agree with LaorDeLove that they are more defensive, and that suits my own nature just fine. You can keep your Atlas though. The only use it has for me is selling it.

Edited by Sevronis, 18 April 2012 - 01:41 PM.

[Reed496]

Why House Steiner is awesome...

[LaorDeLove]

[Navarre]

No es mi intención ofender a nadie, pero creo que aquellos que opinan que las lanzas de exploración o reconocimiento están llenas de Atlas no van a tener una larga vida para aprender de sus errores.

It is not my intention to offend anyone, but I think those who believe that the recon or scouts lances are full of Atlas will not have a long life to learn from their mistakes.