Tonight on Maladar, during a peacekeeping mission to attempt to protect innocents from rampaging Davion forces, Tetatae Birdwarriors of Liao were attacked multiple times while defending civilian power stations against crazed Davion marauders.
It is quite certain that these Marauding Davion forces, operating varyingly RRB and C4, were completely out of control, due to demonstrating battlefield tactics a level beyond suicidal.
Sadly, while the beautiful plumage and excellent skills of these masterful avian gundam pilots remains unmarred, suffering not a single loss on the night, it did become necessary to abandon attempts to liberate the planet due simply to logistics. You see, the Chancellor's generosity is without limit, but unfortunately the combination of the automatic 1.8 million cbill bonus paid to these hovering heroes plus the approximate 500,000 cbills each of them earned in salvage became too much for their dropships to carry.
Fear not! New, more expensive dropships are being purchased even now with the surplus of funds given to the Chancellor's favored, now with surround sound, extended range large subwoofers, and a collection of the fastest, ballsiest engines near-unlimited wealth can buy. Meanwhile, reports from the front show most Davion pilots are barely able to pay for restocking the artillery they are frequently lobbing helplessly onto the corpses of their own dishonored troops in an effort to reduce funeral costs.
Edit: a previous version of this dispatch spelled Maladar in a superior way, but illiterate Davions were unable to decipher what was meant by a single letter difference. We've corrected this to benefit the differently abled.
Edited by Paramemetic, 30 December 2014 - 10:23 PM.