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[Grigor Samsa]

As an Inner Sphere MechWarrior, I get confused every time a Clanner tells me "Zell me". It's a funny-sounding word, and like most funny-sounding words, that translates to one of a very small number of things.

Since most Clanners have vaguely male-sounding names, I can only conclude two things-
1: the Clans are very open-minded, and
2: this "Zell" thing is a very special kind of lewd act.

To reflect my newfound knowledge, I'm considering updating my nickname:

Grigor "Zell her? I hardly know her" Samsa

Grigor "I don't Zell on the first date" Samsa

Grigor "Zelling's gonna cost you extra" Samsa

Grigor "I'm in a battle, can we phone-Zell?" Samsa

Grigor "Isn't Zelling illegal in four of the Successor States" Samsa

Grigor "I'm sure Zelling's just a phase" Samsa