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[Cato Phoenix]

Do YOU have trouble staying out of the cold frozen wastelands of Polar Highlands? Feel you'll never have a chance to get on the leader boards with your sub-par mechlab skills?


Do you look at your SRM AC20 Atlas and sigh, knowing that fighting, let alone brawling is never going to happen?


Does your streakcrow get LRM'd to death before you can deliver your point and click doom to the enemy noobs? Are you tired of getting tickled by large lasers, AC2s and ERPPCs?


Are you huddled in a blanket, cold, depressed, snowed in and embarrassed about your relative inability to pwn other stompy mechs?





Never fear, Mechwarrior! Heat things up with a Whammy!™ Our special 40000 Kelvin variant is just the thing for you!


Burning Phoenix Industries WHM-40000K




Courtesy of the new Phoenix Industrial facility line on Last Chance, you have the ability to bring the volcanic fire of the Terra Therma anywhere you go! Instructions on how to safely and easily disable the redline-governors on your mech's reactor are included free of charge! _{Warning: may void warranty.}

You'll be able to break the ice - with 9 top of the line ER Large Lasers you can reach out and make 12 new friends every match, even across the most unforgiving tundra! Never have to worry about missing the fight and all the kill assists ever again!

Looking for a memorable Valentines Day present? Purchase before Febuary 14th 3054 and melt your freebirth momma's heart! 200000 cbill cash back, with a free booklet on the benefits and superiority of canister-based romance!

Why are you still reading! Don't miss out! - Order now!




Results may vary.

Edited by Cato Phoenix, 25 January 2016 - 10:57 PM.