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You Might Be A Light Mech Pilot

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#1 BreakinStuff

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 04:36 AM

ALA Jeff Foxworthy, You might be a light mech pilot if...

If your favorite mech is best described as a murderous, cannibal Kindergartner fueled by Pixie Stix and pure hate... You might be a light mech pilot.

If you look at an assault mech and what you see is a fat, clumsy doofus wearing a "kick me" sign, you might be a light mech pilot.

If when you see the Big, Clumsy, fat doofus with the Kick me sign and you go a head and kick him, you might be a light mech pilot.

If upon encountering a King Crab, your first thought is "I need butter sauce," You might be a light mech pilot.

If your combat style is best described by yourself as "Skulky, Dishonorable" or "Cowardly" you might be a light mech pilot.

If the thought of a small child kneecapping a linebacker makes you giggle uncontrollably, you might be a light mech pilot.

#2 Vadhalla

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 06:44 AM

I remember those good old days when I used to pilot lights exclusively but I will always remember this video.



This is the reason why I would pilot a light!

#3 Alkabides

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 09:00 AM

If you think a heavy's *** looks like a piece of chewed bubble gum... you might be a light mech pilot

#4 N0ni

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 09:10 AM

If you stroll up behind a LRM boating assault and your immediate thought is "How many machine gun rounds does it take to get to the center of this Tootsie Pop?"

100, 200, 300, ammo explosion.

You might be a light mech pilot.

#5 JediPanther

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 09:58 AM

If you think any mech not moving 155 to 170kph is slow and have to turn on recording software's frame rate display to make sure the game is running you might be a light pilot.

if you can go three grids away turn around and run back before a single assault mech can move out of its spawn grid you might be a light mech pilot.

if you have ever dropped in qp with the same guy on the enemy team twice in a row and he typed in all chat: "Oh crap! it's that suicidal locust guy again!" You might be a light mech pilot.

if you do more damage than all of charlie lance combined you might be a light mech pilot.

if you have a 100% chance of blowing up when your side torso is destroyed you might be a light mech pilot.

if you tell russ what your favorite mech is and it gets uber nerfed the next patch you might be a light mech pilot.

if you ever made an atlas die to a cockpit damage while using jump jets only you might be a light mech pilot.

if you've ever rode on the back of a kgc and acted as a mobile ecm/gun turrent you might be a light pilot.

if you can head butt the crotch of a mech in bravo and alpha lance you might be a light mech pilot.

if you hear someone vomit on voip from spectating you play the game you might be a light mech pilot.

if you can make a heavy mech quit shooting you and run for the rest of the enemy team you might be an urbie light mech pilot.

if you ever stood in a dead mech had an enemy mech walk by and kill said enemy mech with a back shot you might be a light pilot.

if you ever stood on the radio tower on alpine and was instantly dual guess killed you might be a light pilot.

#6 roekenny

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 01:05 PM

When reds complain about your hitboxes

The only mech you have 2nd thoughts engaging is an urbie

Where having about 5 points of armor in your head is you padding your weight

You have a love hate relationship with the lrm boats on both teams

#7 Champion of Khorne Lord of Blood

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 01:12 PM

View PostBreakinStuff, on 04 February 2018 - 04:36 AM, said:

If the thought of a small child kneecapping a linebacker makes you giggle uncontrollably, you might be a light mech pilot.


That one made me giggle.

#8 nehebkau

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 02:11 PM

Or you do this to your ride and drive it all day:

Posted Image

#9 BreakinStuff

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 02:58 PM

If you've ever rushed two enemy mechs at 100+ KPH and killed one or both of them, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you believe that being sober is a detriment to your intent to commit mad maneuvers, you might be a light mech pilot.

if your objective in life, at a particular moment, to make this atlas pilot throw his keyboard through his screen, you might be a light mech pilot.

If your favorite game mode is "Conquest" you might be a light mech pilot.

If you think that stealth armor shenanigans are amazing and will never stop being funny, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you are still angry that you can't break the speed cap, you probably are a light mech pilot.

If you think that 20 points of armor in the center torso is amazing, you might be a light mech pilot.

When it costs more to upgrade your locust to the build you want than it would cost to buy a Marauder, you might be a light mech pilot.


if your tactics can be best described as deliberately antagonistic, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you've ever run into an enemy lance, turned and run screaming "Catch me if you can, fatties!" You might be a light mech pilot.

Edited by BreakinStuff, 04 February 2018 - 04:19 PM.


#10 El Bandito

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 05:36 PM

If you actively search for, and then giggle like mad when you see exposed structures on enemy mechs, then you might be a light mech pilot.

#11 PocketYoda

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 06:58 PM

I like light mechs but i love my Urbies.

#12 N0ni

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Posted 04 February 2018 - 10:44 PM

If you enjoy teasing the fat kid by poking him in the back and watching him stumble around while you run circles around him, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you pray to the Lord for divine intervention that results in the release of the Flea, you might be a light mech pilot.

#13 Teenage Mutant Ninja Urbie

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:46 AM

When you hear the phrase "faster than a speeding bullet" and you take a second or two to figure out how much armor you have to strip to run that..
you're probably a light mech pilot.

Edited by Teenage Mutant Ninja Urbie, 05 February 2018 - 07:47 AM.


#14 kailii

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 11:28 AM

If you're yelling "Friendly Fire!" while zipping around a big bunch of Reds at arms length, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you complain about missing loopings and barrel rolls for jump jets, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you have too few jump jets, you might be a light mech pilot.

If you lost all weapons and keep ramming that Assault Mech and his orange leg, you might be a light mech pilot.
(... or a team player ...)

If you equalize front and back armour on the torso, you might be an urbie pilot.

#15 BreakinStuff

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 11:29 AM

If you are confused when people say the Locust is crap, you might be a light mech pilot.

#16 A1Ste4kSauce

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 12:42 PM

You target exposed internals, play peekaboo, and go for the mobility tree first. Seriously, maining lights is a lot of fun. Oh, doing cool jj maneuvers!

#17 Humpday

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 06:45 PM

If you have to scream over the mic for your own team to stop shooting the poop out of you ...

"STOP SHOOTING ME, STOP SHOOTING ME, STOP SHOOTING ME, FFS STOP SHOOTING ME!!!!!!!!!"

#18 Ivor

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:26 PM

Ugh. All of these are exactly me.

#19 Ivor

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:31 PM

View PostVadhalla, on 04 February 2018 - 06:44 AM, said:

I remember those good old days when I used to pilot lights exclusively but I will always remember this video.



This is the reason why I would pilot a light!


Now THIS made me giggle uncontrollably...

#20 N0ni

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Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:28 PM

If you like to run ahead of the team, pop a UAV on the enemy only to find LRMs flying into buildings... you might be a light mech pilot.



If your idea of fun is equipping stealth armor, running behind the enemy team and planting as many strikes as possible on them, you might be a light mech pilot.



If you like to play Limbo using the ramps on HPG, you might be a light mech pilot.



If the thought of equipping a Heavy Gauss Rifle puts a bigass grin on your face, the kind you get when you come up with an idea that you know full well will most likely turn out bad but you do it anyway for shits and giggles, you might be a light mech pilot.



If you shave off 100+ points of armor just so you can carry a single Heavy PPC at 138 kph, you might be a light mech pilot.



If one on one fights last 5 minutes or more because neither of you can hit each other within 100 meters, you both might be light mech pilots.





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