182 replies to this topic

[Phelan Ward-Kell]

A Flea walks into a bar and sits at a stool...

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A Steiner commander walks his Commando up to 4 Atlas and says "Recon lance, you're up."

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A Wolf Mechwarrior walks into a bar with a Smoke Jaguar Mechwarrior.
They walk up to the bartender and the Wolf says "2 glasses of milk, in dirty glasses"
The bartender says "You must be thirsty"
The Wolf thrusts his thumb over his shoulder and replies "One is for my imaginary friend."

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A FedSuns soldier walking through a market buys an apple from a vendor.
The Capellan hiding in the shadows curses his name and says "You have stolen from me for the last time."

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Edited by The Phigment, 09 November 2012 - 12:21 PM.

[Lunchmeat]

Scout pilot to medium mech pilot "I don't have to run faster then the Atlas, I just have to run faster then you!"

[LawDawg]

Whats the difference between and IS mech pilot praying and an IS mech praying infront of my Atlas.........The Pilot infront of my Atlast means it....

[CTGrafitti]

Lunchmeat, on 10 November 2012 - 02:15 PM, said:

Scout pilot to medium mech pilot "I don't have to run faster then the Atlas, I just have to run faster then you!"

I have actually done this

A Steiner commander walks up to an advanced scout lance.
"Alright, hot drop in 2 minutes. Get in and go!"
The rookie looks back at his mech, then at the commander.
"Sir? Where are our drop pods?"
The rookie is then executed as a Davion spy.

Edited by CTGrafitti, 02 March 2013 - 06:11 PM.

[Visyac Cephias]

An Atlas is chasing an Urbanmech across a field, when a magic Genie appears.

"For releasing me from my slumber, you may each have three wishes."

The Atlas says, "I wish all my weapon points were Omni-slots, so I can mount whatever weapons I wanted."

The Urbanmech says, "I wish I had maximum armor on my rear without a weight penalty."

The Atlas says, "I wish my armor was the strongest in the Innersphere, that way I can fight anything and always be the victor."

The Urbanmech says, "I wish I could run 120kph."

The Atlas says, "I wish my heat sinks were the most efficient in all the galaxy, so I can fight without stopping."

The Genie grants his wish; and the Atlas turns to the Urbanmech and says, "How about that you little bag of trash. I've got the weapons, armor, and heatsinks to rule every battlefield in the Inner Sphere, while all you've got is the armor and speed to get a little further before you die."

The Urbanmech says, "I wish the Atlas could mount nothing but Machine Guns"

[blinkin]

two atlai walk into a bar. the building collapses.

[PhoenixFire55]

Visyac Cephias, on 27 May 2013 - 09:53 AM, said:

The Urbanmech says, "I wish the Atlas could mount nothing but Machine Guns"

LMAO! Good 1.

[ValdnadHartagga]

How many Clanners does it take to change a lightbulb?


None, they bid down to a candle.

[Steve Varayis]

This thread is Certified Fresh™

[Adridos]

Old mechwarrior wisdom:

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three Panthers can make an Awesome."

[Steve Varayis]

Urbie's are Mechs too!

[Adridos]

A MechWarrior, a Ground Pounder, a Tanker, an Aerojock, and a Tech walk up to a bar.

The MechWarrior tries to bust into the bar, but ends up falling over.
The Ground Pounder tries to crawl into the bar, and almost makes it before being squashed by the falling MechWarrior.
The Tanker sprains his ankle trying to get into the bar, and can only beat on the door with his fists.
The Aerojock attempts a flying leap into the bar, but catches his toe and lawn darts his face into the pavement.
The Tech sighs, opens the door and walks through.

And another one:

This year the Lyran Alliance has launched new efforts to strengthen their Battle Armor core. New Commandos should be rolling off the assembly lines soon.

Edited by Adridos, 17 June 2013 - 07:43 AM.

[Steve Varayis]

How many Diamond Sharks does it take to change a lightbulb?

3.
One to rename the bulb to the new, superior bulb
One to trade for this superier bulb
One to gain vengeance on the other Bulbmakers for failing them

[Adridos]

There are some targets that nukes can't destroy... for everything else, there are Regulans.

[Steve Varayis]

Want to hear a real joke>

Sane Cappellans

[Reod Daie]

Mechwarrior: still a better love-story than Twilight.

[PanzerMagier]

Some of these jokes are so brilliant I swear kerensky made them himself!

[blinkin]

Reod Daie, on 18 July 2013 - 12:34 PM, said:

Mechwarrior: still a better love-story than Twilight.

kinda makes me angry. how could you screw up vampires and werewolves that thoroughly?

[Threat Doc]

blinkin, on 18 July 2013 - 10:58 PM, said:

kinda makes me angry. how could you screw up vampires and werewolves that thoroughly?

Okay, were vampires real, they are not supposed to be fluffy, they are not supposed to be loveable, they are not misunderstood, they are no longer people just with really long lives and who require blood to continue living and burn in the sun... they are MONSTERS. To be destroyed.

Kinda makes me angry we, as a society, took an ultimate enemy, and turned them into a teddy bear that sparkles, hehe.

That's a joke.

[PanzerMagier]

A monster I am lest a monster I became. Nichte proposed something similar. Staring into the abyss could cause more than just a few retina problems. ^.^