28 replies to this topic

[MechRaccoon]

I'll admit, #5 is very cruel and an ideal punishment for the merc, but I would love to see a hollow form in his forehead because of dripping water. Awesome!

I would also recommend the following:

--1. Make him get crapped on relentlessly by raccoons. LOTS OF EM.

--2. Put a facehugger on his head. (make sure this is in a ridiculously well sealed room, and have men with Pulse Rifles standing by)

--3.Make him play Call of Duty Black Ops or Modern Warfare 2 online without any breaks. The amazing amount of annoying players and 6 year olds that shout "MOM! GET ME MORE CHOCOLATE MILK!" will drive him insane.

--4.Have Chuck Norris beat him relentlessly.

--5.Have a Space Marine crush his face to a bloody pulp...until he feels like talking.

--6. MUSTARD GAS.

--7. KETCHUP GAS...Wait, WHAT!?

--8. Pull out all of his teeth. One by one.

--9. Make him play Amnesia the Dark Descent.

--10. Have Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger punch him in the face. SIMULTANEOUSLY.

--11. Subject him to Captain Boreale's horrible voice acting for days on end. SPESS MEHREN!

--12. Have everyone on the planet crap on his head until the entire room fills up.

[Mark Ender]

and after he walked into a bar, he woke three days later in a hospital because of a concussion.

[Felicitatem Parco]

Based on what he said, I'd bet that half of the alcohol in the Inner Sphere's already coarsing through his veins by that point...

[Gun Bear]

I'd just shoot him, that way he can't destroy more booze caches.


Or... I'm not patient enough to wait for the other options so I'd just youtube Rebecca Black....

Edited by Gun Bear, 31 May 2012 - 07:48 PM.

[Davoke]

Secret choice:
Force him to use a flea armed with paintball guns in the Solaris VII grand championship.
For the next 5 years.

And another....
Put him in a Flea, force him to use it with only paintball guns.
Have 10 Heavy Tank Regiments of the Imperial Guard surround him and attempt to blow off his legs with H.Bolters. Because I'm merciful, he has max engine upgrades. And he'll only get shot 10 times by Hellguns.

Edited by Davoke, 31 May 2012 - 07:44 PM.

[Zack Delphirian]

I'm so evil, I'll just put some Justin Bieber in his ears !

[Artifice]

If he was actually a mercenary commander, why would he be waiting for a simulator?

Number 4. He'll crack like a chicken menstruation on zombie jesus day. I don't think anyone could survive that.

Edited by Artifice, 04 June 2012 - 04:22 AM.

[Victor MacGregor]

Maybe he could order a couple rounds for the whole bar. That way, the alcholic substances are destroyed even quicker. Tell him that if he doesn't, you will send him to Canada to attend a Village People cover concert (two down!). He will be watching from the owner's box, sitting between both Andy Dick and Richard Simmons.

Sorry, I could only fit three in.

[Roland]

Quote

the merc commander goes into a flying rage and destroys all the alcohol in the place. He then announces that that he has been crusading across the Inner Sphere destroying all caches of intoxicating beverages

This man is obviously a WoBbly spy, as true mercenaries would never destroy booze.