8 replies to this topic

[Doctor HappyDuck]

WHY HELLO THERE!



I am Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹ and it has come to my attention that this forum, while a fine and upstanding example to forumkind everywhere, is sorely lacking in that vital feature of some forums know as the "E/N subforum"! I know, shocking!

Now, "what is an E/N subforum?" I hear you cry! Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹ is here to help! First, a definition: "E/N" stands for "Everything/Nothing", as in: things which are everything to you, but nothing to anyone else! It's also been know as "Emotional/Nonsense" but your Emotions are not Nonsense, no! Rest assured, they are not Nothing to Doctor HappyDuck M.D.^{1 2}!

Unfortunately I cannot provide you with a full subforum to deal with your E/N issues, but fear not! I humbly offer my services as a Doctor of Medicine¹ specialising in Psychiatry to help³ you with the everyday trials and tribulations of life! Please post any issues you wish help with⁴ below, or if you are feeling shy drop me a private message and I'll post in secret⁵ on your behalf! That's right! MWO's very on E/N thread! I look forward to helping you all.

And as always, I:



Doctor HappyDuck M.D.<sup>1

1</sup>. Not a real doctor.
². May actually be Nothing to Doctor HappyDuck M.D. ^1
3. May not actually help at all and may in fact make the problem worse or terminal. Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹ takes no responsability for loss, injury or other negative outcomes resulting from following the advice of Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹.
⁴. Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹ does not pilot a mech or have anything to do with mechs and thus cannot help with mech-combat related issues. Please consult your resident Mechromancer.
⁵. May not actually be secret.

Edited by Doctor HappyDuck, 23 January 2013 - 04:22 PM.

[Youngblood]

Huh...why do ducks do that to their butts? What purpose does that achieve?

[Doctor HappyDuck]

My first customer! Oh boy!

Well young Duck, you see the thing about it is we ducks are simply blessed with a superior form. During the long harsh winter of 3029 when all Ducks were plucked to supply the Davion Merchant Marine with pillows to put on the floors of their dropships because they couldn't afford decent seatbelts we suffered greatly from the cold. Our finest Duck Scienticians put their beaks together and with the aid of one famous circus contortionist Duck (who I obviously need not name, she is that famous) discovered that we, as a people, are stackable. Thus was born the noble art of "Duckstacku" which was used to teach entire flocks to compress themselves into a perfect cuboid shape so as to minimise surface area and to allow for maximum body-warmth sharing. The Duck in my signature image is performing a styalised version of Duckstacku as a demonstration of our abilities and resilience as a people. It is a joyous celebration of everything it is to be a Duck.

I hope this answers your question as to why you do this, young Duck.

And as always I:



Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹

[Clubs]

[Youngblood]

Ah! Brilliant. It never ceases to astound me when life manages to adapt itself in new and unimaginable ways, even in this day and age where one's observation of evolution and inheritance of learned behaviors seems like merely a freeze frame in the great developing animation of birdkind!

[Rufus Landale]

Doctor Duck, I have an important question. As many mechwarriors know there is a tabletop simulation of our modern combat known as Battletech. Sadly, many players are antisocial Aspergers' sufferers who seem to both not want to make any attempt at playing tabletop space robots with other people, making friends with said people, or making the slightest of changes in their style of gameplay or time so as such they can play other people at space robots and perhaps make new friends. There are people about the Internet who talk about how friendship can be magical and I sort of agree with them because dying alone would kind of suck.

Yet many people who claim to play Battletech follow this antisocial mindset and it makes me sad.

How can I become unsad and share the joys of not only tabletop space robots, but sometimes SILLY tabletop space robots such as this game I ran below:





How can I bring love and friendship and fun and socializing with other people (and ducks and tetatae and maybe even pastel equines and transforming space robots) to Battletech and not feel bad when I inevitably fail?

[Doctor HappyDuck]

Hi Rufus! Thanks for your question.

Well now young Duck, that is a pickle of a bind of a quandry indeed! I bet you're frustrated as all heck with that situation! Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do to change other Ducks, they are what they are and they will be what they will be. All you can do is keep trying with new people, and make sure your quacks are happy, friendly and welcoming! Remember: only you can make you un-sad!

In your darkest moments take comfort in the fact that you are clearly dedicated to your craft of gamesDuckship and be proud of that awesome, tasty mobile-death-fortress-abomination-thing!


And as always, I:



Doctor HappyDuck M.D.¹

P.S: I'm not sure what a pastel equine is, so I just ignored that bit. Sorry!

[Rufus Landale]

Quote

P.S: I'm not sure what a pastel equine is, so I just ignored that bit. Sorry!

A terrible thing Doctor. A thing that makes neckbeards wear fedoras, become more cultlike than an NRA member being interviewed by phone tapping Englishmen, and probably close to your average Mylene Jenius or Ranka Lee fan. *shudder*

[Youngblood]

Doctor HappyDuck, I appear to be longing for days past. Days when things were like this:

As a lonely and destitute pubbie on this forum, I was not allowed to witness what caused such imagery as this to fall out of popularity as it has now. What were the proponents of such change and how can I feel better¹ about those developments?

¹. No intrinsic value intended. No financial reimbursement was stipulated in the creation of this post.