70 replies to this topic

[Fitzhampton]

It is my humble privilege to be asked by our Great Warrior Leader, Lord Jonathan Tanner, (Blessed be) to be the scribe for him, his word and his sword. I am to record the meaningful sayings produced by him and his faithful followers into this "Book of Armaments" (not to be confused with the Book of Armaments of Brother Maynard in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)

The followers of Jonathan Tanner (also know as Lord Tanner, The Tanner and Lord Jonathan, as well as other unprintable but still affectionate titles) are NOT an ecclesiastical group. It is a purely "funitary" (both a fun and military) group. After all this is a game. We are here to have fun and raise Marik high as a House of humor, wit and military might. (Praise Tanner) We are not here, nor do we mean to mock or offend any person or religion. If you take offense remember, we did not give it, you TOOK it.

Now, to the wisdom of Tanner and his warrior-followers, which may or may not make sense to the uninitiated.

The Tanner created Grim Portico out of Legos, and it was good.

Kurita is red,
Rasalhague is blue,
they both suck,
Praise Jonathan Tanner.

The power of the Tanner does not work with the colors of Davion. During Faction Warfare, they must hold down "K" in shame to atone.

Jonathan Tanner is the Holder of Blessed Purple Penguins.

Mass ejections will be on the 13th of each month.

Pugs should go join HHOD and learn Faction Warfare while they tear Davion up from the inside like a gas station burrito. - Brawling Bear

There is no greater joy than bringing doom and despair to Davion pilots.

I hate that guy.

Edited by Fitzhampton, 27 April 2016 - 08:25 PM.

[Swagman00]

Glory to house Marik and Lord Tanner!

...and beer. Lots and lots of beer.

[Pakkrat]

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout, Jonathan Tanner smited it down and it never returned again.

Praise be to Jonathan Tanner!

Edited by Pakkrat, 17 April 2016 - 06:06 PM.

[yohon1]

also **** u to the brawling praise be to johnathan tanner

[Swagman00]

Fitzhampton, on 17 April 2016 - 05:27 PM, said:

Kurita is red,
Rasalhague is blue,
they both suck,
Praise Jonathan Tanner.

I was just thinking of a modified version:

Kurita is cranky
Steiner is stanky
The clans are pathetic at best.
Davion are posers
Lio are just hosers
but Marik runs true to the test.

Edited by Swagman00, 17 April 2016 - 07:39 PM.

[bayoucowboy]

Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free. Emma Lazarus

And we will teach them how to play FW with fearlessness and ferocity. bayoucowboy, HHOD 1C

[Pakkrat]

And on the second wave Jonathan Tanner said "Let there be Lights!".

[Pakkrat]

And Jonathan Tanner was angry with the Davions and it rained LRMs for 7 waves and 7 fights!

[bayoucowboy]

And on the 8th fight he rested...

And HHOD took back all of their planets by chatting about mech builds while waiting for the 10 minute dry drop counter to finish.

[MovinTarget]

So wait, the born-again-birds are talking all this smack and they don't even face or if they do, its hiding behinds lurms?

What was in that cool-aid they were handing out???

[yohon1]

commandments
1 thaw shall attempt not to team kill
2 do not give the scribe a gun

Edited by yohon1, 18 April 2016 - 12:20 PM.

[shameless]

I recall a day when 228, KCOM, and MS ruled the FW battlefield.... oh wait that was yesterday, and pretty much the last three seasons..

[bayoucowboy]

and the fun banter dies...

[pwnface]

what is this garbage?

[MaxFool]

Brawling Bear, on 18 April 2016 - 12:37 PM, said:

I recall a day where the Jaguars touched the borders of Marik... and were instantly repelled.

I recall a day when MS pushed Smoke Jaguar all the way into Marik territory, switched to Marik now that they had clan border, and next day Kurita took away Mariks attack lane into Smoke Jaguar. MS was quite pissed off, being stranded in Marik with only IS borders.

I mean, come on, bragging it like Marik repelled evil clanners themselves, when it was Kurita that cut off the border.

[War Steiner]

Come now. We were taking a CSJ planet a day until some unscrupulous snakes and lying Lyran trash ruined our fun. We actually sent MS to play with Davion while we kicked around CSJ.

A noble Lyran or an honorable Kuritan would have allowed us an attack lane to help you. You expected us to defend your planets that you were hemorrhaging. I don't think so. I rather have a Ghost Bear or Smoke Jag as a neighbor than a back stabbing snake.

Tanner (word).

War Steiner, Capt
1FWG, FWLM

[MaxFool]

War Steiner, on 18 April 2016 - 03:22 PM, said:

You expected us to defend your planets that you were hemorrhaging. I don't think so

LOL, no one expects Mariks to defend anyones planets, you don't defend even your own planets. While I was Marik I saw several times you ghost dropping Davion planets while Davions were ghost dropping yours (and usually Davions then started defending, kudos for them for actually taking the fights). This grand strategy of not defending your own planets is biting you in the arse, driving competent people away. People want fights not ghost drops.

Edited by MaxFool, 18 April 2016 - 03:42 PM.

[Karl Marlow]

Excerpt from Tanners book of armaments on the question of Lurms.

"And so it came to pass that a fool and a wise man arrived in a land that was rich in minerals and fertile land but was also met with frequent storms. So they decided to build houses to protect their families from the wind and rain.

The Wise man found good wood and nails for his house and proceeded to build a good ansd strong hoiuse. The wood kept out the elements and provided comfort for the man and his family. The nails, while many in number, accounted little for their portion of the house but provided support for the entire structure. When the storms came the walls stood firm against the wind and the rain did not touch him.

The foolish man saw what the wise man had done, saw how the nails provided a strong support for the wood, and decided that if few nails could make a structure sturdy then surly a structure build only of nails would be mighty indeed. Thus the man went out and gathered all the nails he could find and proceeded to build his house of nails. For days and days he tried to build his house, tearing down natural walls to cram in more and more nails. He then turned to the foundation and decided that that needed to be nails as well. Despite all his efforts the man found neither safety or comfort within his house of nails and his house was washed away in the storms."

Edited by ThomasMarik, 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM.

[MovinTarget]

Brawling Bear, on 18 April 2016 - 12:37 PM, said:

I recall a day where the Jaguars touched the borders of Marik... and were instantly repelled.

If they were repelled, it was due to the locals bathing habits (or lack thereof)

[MovinTarget]

ThomasMarik, on 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM, said:

Excerpt from Tanners book of armaments on the question of Lurms.

"And so it came to pass that a fool and a wise man arrived in a land that was rich in minerals and fertile land but was also met with frequent storms. So they decided to build houses to protect their families from the wind and rain.

The Wise man found good wood and nails for his house and proceeded to build a good ansd strong hoiuse. The wood kept out the elements and provided comfort for the man and his family. The nails, while many in number, accounted little for their portion of the house but provided support for the entire structure. When the storms came the walls stood firm against the wind and the rain did not touch him.

The foolish man saw what the wise man had done, saw how the nails provided a strong support for the wood, and decided that if few nails could make a structure sturdy then surly a structure build only of nails would be mighty indeed. Thus the man went out and gathered all the nails he could find and proceeded to build his house of nails. For days and days he tried to build his house, tearing down natural walls to cram in more and more nails. He then turned to the foundation and decided that that needed to be nails as well. Despite all his efforts the man found neither safety or comfort within his house of nails and his house was washed away in the storms."

I'm sorry but could you get to the part where you point out uncoordinated lurm whoring is bad...

Edited by MovinTarget, 18 April 2016 - 04:50 PM.