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The Book Of Armaments Of Jonathan Tanner


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#61 Lovas

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 05:58 PM

And thus he spake to the pugglets: "Why are you hanging out on the platform?? No no...FORWARD!" And with his spittle upon them they moved thusly.

Edited by Lovas, 06 October 2017 - 08:03 AM.


#62 Eidolon 29

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 10:31 AM

The great land know as Hellbore Springs was not always the grand place it is today.

Long ago it was a festering blemish of bare dirt and rock. Crawling with dirty non-Marik beings it languished under their filthy mech feet seemingly unredeemable. That was until Tanner came, and with his great wisdom, saw the lands potential.

Alone and unaided he ran his mighty Firestarter into the canyons and towers, burning the unclean away and machine gunning down the rest. Using the blood and ashes of his enemies he grew lush purples plants, and washed away their stench upon the land. Soon it was a pristine place full of Marik pigs eating the purple plants producing the best space bacon in the universe.

With his new wealth from his bacon farms the mighty Tanner set off into the, now brilliant, Hellbore sunset intent on cleansing other such pits of sewage from the galaxy.

#63 MovinTarget

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 10:45 AM

He should have invested in more Kool-Aid...

#64 Holy Jackson

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 01:09 PM

This is what happens when you don't have the Word of Blake as a faction

#65 MovinTarget

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 02:43 PM

View PostHoly Jackson, on 24 October 2017 - 01:09 PM, said:

This is what happens when you don't have the Word of Blake as a faction


A bunch of mini-me clones, squeezing into tiny cockpits?

#66 McGoat

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 06:39 PM

Praise Him.

#67 Eidolon 29

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Posted 25 October 2017 - 05:32 PM

While the greatness of Tanner is know far and wide many have asked where it all started. To answer this question a mighty bribe of bacon and Dr. Pepper (a marvelous blend of 23 flavors) was bequeathed to the one know as "The Scribe," he who has carefully chronicled Tanners rise to heroism. From him we received the grand tale of the defense of Boreal Vault.

It all began long before the vile and disgusting clans (spit) floundered their way into the Inner Sphere. Back then Marik was under siege from all sides by those coveting our great supplies of superior bacon.

In a small outpost of the front lines a fresh recruit from the 1st Free World Guards was assigned to the defense of the Boreal Vault supply depot. Given a captured UM-R60L to pilot, the recruit, Jon destroyer of planets Tanner boldly patrolled the perimeter. During one such patrol his lance came upon a company of enemy mechs.

Springing into action Tanner began blasting away at the opposing forces. With one shot he destroyed an atlas with an AC20 round to the ammo supply. Twisting he used his small laser to blind a highlander's pilot causing him to step on his fellow lance mate's commando crushing it. Knowing how deadly an urbie could be an enemy thunderbolt tried to get behind Tanner, but as everyone knows urbies need not turn their back on anyone. Twisting about like a tornado Tanner destroyed the thunderbolt and 4 other enemy mechs with AC20 rounds to the cockpit.

With a mighty blast of his jump jets Tanner performed a textbook death from above on the recovering highlander destroying it and letting lose a terrifying war cry. Scared stiff the remaining enemy mechs were easily and quickly dispatched by Tanner's lance mates. While victorious it was discovered that the vile wrenches had barley managed to get off a distress call for reinforcements.

Realizing he had only a single AC20 round left Tanner sent his lance mates back to base to prepare a defense. He however, could not go with them, as urbies do not (or cannot) run from a fight. Alone in the barren wastes he coolly watched the approaching drop ship, deftly side stepping the incoming fire. As he did his eyes caught and focused on the downed highlander battlemech.

Though defeated in what would be considered a masterfully way by lesser mechwarriors, something itched at him. Better it could have been better he thought. Again looking around the battlefield he noticed how 5 downed mechs splayed across the land scape in a circle from where he once stood. And suddenly a plan formed in his powerful mind.

Charging straight at the incoming dropship he lit off his jump jets soring up into the bleak gray sky. Knowing an urbie's jump jets would not let the mech reach them the dropship pilots keep coming straight on, seemingly unafraid. At the peak of his launch Tanner aimed his might cannon down and fired his final AC20 round. The recoil blasted his mech up above the jumpship, shocking the pilots.

Using a small bit of jump fuel left, and his amazing piloting skills, Tanner managed to invert his mechs feet up and cockpit down. Then as he plunged towards the now wide open dropship he torso twisted with amazing speed firing this small laser straight into the path of his falling mech. Like a laser drill he bore through the dropship leaving nothing but a gaping fiery hole of destruction behind.

As he again summersaulted mid air to land with a gymnasts skills feet fist, he gazed back just in time to see the dropship crash into the mountain between the two depot gates. After doing a quick check of the area to ensure none managed to survive he marched back in victory.

All true. Posted Image

#68 Will9761

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 07:16 PM

We need more of this, why has there not been anymore verses?

#69 Alexandra Hekmatyar

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 05:50 AM

The prophet Tanner became a Luke Skywalker from the Last Jedi.
In other words his magic is gone! :P

#70 Eidolon 29

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Posted 23 January 2018 - 04:40 PM

As many foes of Marik have come to realize Tanner's mech piloting skills are beyond compare. Left to shift through the scrap and rubble he chooses to leave them, they have been forced to admit challenging him is an impossible feat. While admirable, Tanner's genius goes beyond such plebeian warrior requirements. After all Tanner chooses not to be at every battle Marik faces to ensure victory. As any wise man knows the path to maintaining a great nation requires teaching it's citizens "how to fish, not just giving them a fish." Tanner, as should be expected, has proven his amazing leadership skills by drawing in and effectively using the dregs or raising up numerous other pilots to further the house's goals.

It was just such a case during a battle in River City that the infamous silver tongued Crab King Emperor along with others were recruited. While the Crab King may be know today as a great speaker of truth, leader of men, and "that guy I'd not mind sitting down and having a drink with while shooting the breeze," he was not always so.

It was noon, day 9, wave 239 of the dirty fedcom's assault on River City. Tanner's single lance of loyal Marik warriors were busy fending off yet another skill-less company of wretches with ease. Tanner had just rounded a building leaving behind the opposition's medium mech lance. He worried not an iota about them as they were being destroyed by his lance mate, who was brawling them to death like a bear, which was his usual style.

Stepping up along side another lance mate he asked "with their medium lance soon to be finished all that remains is their assaults, have you spotted them?"

"Yes" Horseback Rider responded "they just slinked behind that big rock in the river." "Shall we flank them from both sides and wipe them out?"

"No need" Tanner responded. He then twisted his Warhammer towards the rock and let loose a barrage of AC5 rounds. Blowing apart and through the rock Tanner quickly, efficiently, and yet classily mowed down the cowering LRM assaults. All that remained of the once majestic boulder were a number of smaller rocks sticking up from the river.

"ha... Well that blows that problem away" Horseback Rider chortled. "While I enjoy keeping Marik's stores of grand bacon safe as much as the next loyalist, I wouldn't mind taking a break every once in awhile." "We've been at this for day's and they seem to have several waves yet to go."

"Hmmph..." Tanner grunted, he could go until eternity itself ended but understood life was about more than the cathartic joy of pummeling one's enemies. "House Marik is under siege everywhere and can't send relief, it's us or nobody." "Also Horseback Rider is too much to say, isn't there a shorter name we could call you?"

"I don't know" Horseback Rider said. "I'll try and think of something, also did you know my family tree goes back all the way to old earth Hungarian?"

"No, and I don't really care if you're a Hungarian far back in origin Horseback Rider we are all Marik now." "Why bring it up?"

"Oh... no reason I suppose" Horseback Rider sighed. "Guess I'm a bit tired and thirsting for some good drinks and bad ladies company right now." "If I come up with a shorter call sign I'll let you know." With that he marched his mech back to his defensive position.

Obviously 9 days of near constant warfare was starting to beat down his fellow pilots, so Tanner decided to solve the problem. As he patrolled the ocean's edge he came upon a band of loyal-less mech bums wandering around aimlessly. Such pilots were a common site at these battles showing up out of nowhere to try and salvage left over scrap like vultures. Despite being trained mechwarriors and possessing mechs the great houses had long since quit trying to fill their ranks with such men. Directionless and seemingly to always hide in the back or charge in alone, they caused more problems than they solved.

Among them was the Crab King Emperor himself chatting up the ladies and conning men out of their money. As Tanner watched he instantly understood the sly charm the Crab King Emperor displayed. If he was that good at coning and whoring what would happen if I directed his efforts towards the grand armies of Marik, Tanner wondered.

Marching up to C.K.E (tired of typing out the name) a plan hatched in Tanner's superior mind. "C.K.E." Tanner shouted "you will march with me into battle and become a loyal supporter of house Marik." "My lance wishes some R & R in this great city filled with excellent space bacon, and I will give it to them." "After I teach you the ropes you will round up the rest of these bums and take our spot on the line."

C.K.E lazily gazed at Tanner turning to face him a lady under each arm, and let out a soft chuckle. "Why would I do such a thing?" "Fighting is dangerous, dirty, and hard." "I think I will stay right where I am," he stated as one of the ladies lifted a glass to his lips.

Tanner simply marched up and whispered a single word into C.K.E's ear. What that word was we'll never know, but C.K.E's eyes suddenly opened wide and he stood dumbfounded, his view of reality completely changed. Seconds later he shrugged out from between the ladies and mounted his mech. Calling on the radio using his silver tongued charm he soon had 3 dozen of the loyal-less pilots in formation behind him.

"Ready for your orders Tanner the wise, bold, and powerful" he transmitted.

Back on the front line the Hungarian Horseback Rider was in the midst of yet another fire fight as the enemy launched another company of mechs at them. As he dropped down below the airfield leading an element of mechs into an ambush there was a sudden commotion of fire above. Jumping back up he was amazed to see 38 mechs crash into the enemies flank moving in perfect organization and coordination. 1 mech separated from the rest and called to him over the radio.

"Horseback Rider head back to base and take a break I've rounded up our relief." Tanner's voice came across the comms.

"How, I don't understand" Horseback Rider muttered "It should be impossible to get a bunch of... of those types to do anything useful."

Amazed he watched as the, now mob like without Tanner leading them directly, force destroy the enemy and take up the defensive positions. As he headed back to base he pondered on what had just happened. It seemed Tanner's powerful presence and a word was just about all that was needed to create a... what... a cult like group of warriors to bolster Marik's defenses.

So, with but a word from Tanner, the silver tongued Crab King Emperor lead the motley band. Following in Tanner's teachings a force like no other was unleashed upon the universe. In mere months planets fell under their crazed assaults and Marik grew in strength. This was just he beginning of Tanner's plan to increase Marik's warrior count in preparation of a future invasion he could sense coming from the far reaches of know space.

Also Horseback Rider considered changing his call sign... maybe something starting with an L hmmm.... Posted Image

***Some narrative was added to give a sense of how things happened though the exact words spoken or scenario may not be completely accurate*** Posted Image ***It is also at the same time completely true and accurate... cause it's on the web... and I wouldn't lie to you Posted Image ***

Edited by Eidolon 29, 24 January 2018 - 09:12 AM.






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