16 replies to this topic

[PringlesPCant]

Time: 2 Months after Community Warfare is introduced



Scene: A once proud commander surveys the remains of his last stronghold on his last planet. Destruction is all around him. He grips a piece of paper in his hand, and slowly as if a great weight is crushing him approaches his comm station which has survived the bombardment.
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He had received the first ultimatum from the House of Lowtax only last week, requiring him to pay homage to the leader of that House, King Mittani. He had ignored it and confidently told his troops that the House of Lowtax while numerous, lacked skill and discipline and therefore would prove easy prey for his troops.

He had been so so wrong.

He had received the next ultimatum from the House of Lowtax the day before, after a week of losing his worlds as quickly as it took the hordes to travel to them. They had given him another ultimatum, offering him a chance to save his life and his people's by fulfilling the original request and offering homage to House Lowtax and its Word.

He sat down at the comm station, and entered the link that had been provided to him. He knew his surviving troops were listening in as well, forced to witness the travesty about to happen. He sighed wondering if death would not be better, but the thought of his men prevented him from ending things the honorable way. Maybe after he had insured their safety.

Unable to keep the shame and self hatred out of his voice, he began,

"I seek protection for my remaining lands and people, and submit myself and my empire to the Word of Lowtax, as given to us by the one true prophet, Lord Mittani, First of his name, Rightful Ruler . . "

It took him a while, he had heard that the Titles doubled in size every week as the House of Lowtax grew more and more powerful. Finally his throat hoarse, he finished the last title, which named Mittani the ruler of something called FYAD whatever the hell that way.

He relaxed, he had managed to save his people, and he had simply followed a tradition of accepting defeat centuries old. Now that he had said the words the thought of suicide had left his mind, replaced with the thought of growing old and watching his children do the same. It hadn't been that bad after all.

A cold voice rang out in the silence, terrifying and yet comforting. As if there was a hidden quality to it that he couldn't quite understand, or was incapable of ever understanding.

"That was what was required in the original ultimatum. We have altered it to punish your resistance to the light of Lowtax as you well know. Start again exactly as instructed or be exterminated"

Oh God no. He thought that had been a sick joke. No one could possibly expect a dignified man, the veteran and victor of a dozen wars to lower himself so! No this was the House of Lowtax, of course they would. And if he didn't . . he couldn't have the death of his followers on his hand.

He began the required protocol again, this time the tone of disgust at himself and a universe that allowed this to happen was even more audible,

"SQWUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK I SEEK PROTECTION FOR MY REMAINING LANDS AND PEOPLE SQWUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK . . . "

Finished, this time ending proclaiming Mittani the bane of Sperglords (how had he gained another title in the last five minutes?) his voice trailed off. When no more words of rebuke came, the man, sobbing, grabbed his side arm and added one last burst of noise for the transmitter.

[Allen Wren]

Delightful! I have apparently run out of likes, so I am regretfully unable to add such button-clicking to my approval of this japery.

[NOBLETETATAEWARRIOR]

Squuuuuawk! Great tales of prophetic victory have been handed down through the word of lowtax, [tenbux] be praised!

[Alistair Steiner]

As long as Lowtax isn't as nuts as the WoB folks (nukes, nerve gas, orbital bombardment, etc.), I welcome him and his followers to the Inner Sphere. Have fun doing... whatever it is you plan on doing. As long as you don't muck with the Isle of Skye, we'll get along fine.

[Norrin]

And then he awoke from that ridiculous dream. His 12 man lance had in fact repeatedly obliterated numerous fanatical Lowtax lances over the last few weeks. What had he eaten that caused such a ridiculous dream he thought, while laughing uncontrollably...

*spelling edit - was laughing too hard*

Edited by Norrin, 13 June 2012 - 10:12 AM.

[hopterque]

Ah yes a 12man lance.

[Vandal]

hopterque, on 13 June 2012 - 10:13 AM, said:

Ah yes a 12man lance.

It must be very uncomfortable to have 2 other dudes shoved into your cockpit when you are trying to fight a battle.

Edited by Vandal, 13 June 2012 - 10:30 AM.

[hopterque]

I wonder if they have to grease them up to cram them in there.

Must be awful when you're running with high heat.

[Norrin]

hopterque, on 13 June 2012 - 10:13 AM, said:

Ah yes a 12man lance.

Point taken sir. Feel free to input the correct term for a 12 v 12 encounter. Regardless of the term it's going to be fun to see...

[PringlesPCant]

SQWUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK THE ARROGANCE OF THE UNENLIGHTENED IS LAUGHABLE SQWUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

[Ori Klein]

Alistair Steiner, on 13 June 2012 - 09:53 AM, said:

As long as Lowtax isn't as nuts as the WoB folks (nukes, nerve gas, orbital bombardment, etc.), I welcome him and his followers to the Inner Sphere. Have fun doing... whatever it is you plan on doing. As long as you don't muck with the Isle of Skye, we'll get along fine.

I'm pretty sure we're talking SomethingAweful fans here, which means GoonSquad, which in turns renders low level griefing and trolling and otherwise silly **** you'd find funny if you were Irish drunk but not so much if sober.

[Allen Wren]

Ori Klein, on 13 June 2012 - 10:31 AM, said:

I'm pretty sure we're talking SomethingAweful fans here, which means GoonSquad, which in turns renders low level griefing and trolling and otherwise silly **** you'd find funny if you were Irish drunk but not so much if sober.

I would humbly submit that I never even touch the stuff, and yet still find the "silliness" to be most amusing.

[DocBach]

Its going to be hilarious waking up one day to find these guys taking over New Avalon. Some guy was putting up all kinds of videos about how terrible these guys are and one of them their leader was talking about how they systematically wiped out everything a rival group made (that apparently took years to make) and it made me crack up - the dedication is outstanding.

[NOBLETETATAEWARRIOR]

lets appreciate the story for what it is.
Im surprised theres some of you left who still think we're anything but fun loving robot space fans who are having a little fun with the lore and canon, because we arent shooting lasers at giant robots yet.

we dont hack. we only 'greif' so much as you allow silly antics to upset you. General rule is: if the code allows it, such is the will of Lowtax. [tenbux] be praised

Also the Tetatae are real and will be in MWO.

[Outrider01]

lol silly goon LARPs . Thats about as terrible as a Stackpole novel and people pay to read that crap, here we get it for free

[NikkoKilla]

Outstanding

[Reginald Fu Manpewpew]

Lowtax be praised, tenbux unto him and is Prophet.