3435 replies to this topic

[wanderer]

Contrary to popular belief, MarineTech does NOT live in a pineapple under the sea.

It is clearly a kumquat.

[Nightmare1]

Wanderer is cursed to wander through these lands because of something tragic that happened to him 34,430&2/3 years ago. What this event was, he has never said and only the most fevered of imaginations dares to guess at its nature. However, meticulous research by historians has revealed that it apparently had something to do with a live chicken, a jar of mayonnaise, and a can of silly string.

[Sizzles]

Nightmare has been busy using his 'Mech to crack open houses so that he may harvest their succulent housemeat.

That explains the angry mob equipped with pitchforks and torches outside the dropship.

[MarineTech]

Sizzles is working up a competing theory to Nightmare's "live chicken, jar of mayonaise, and a can of silly string" hypothesis concerning Wanderer's event..

Academics around the world are eagerly pouring over Sizzles' "live chicken, bottle of Ranch dressing, and a whoopie cushion" theory and it is being discussed with great interest.

[Sizzles]

Marine wziął wszystkie moje wódki.

Jestem smutny.

I know enough Polish to make a fool of myself. That is all.

[wanderer]

Sizzles is sad that his last bottle of Grey Goose was used to headshot Juan "El Coca" Martinez on the aforementioned Marinetech/AWOL 01 junket.

Be brave, Sizzles. It died for the second best of causes.

(The first would have been a dirty martini.)

Edited by wanderer, 18 February 2016 - 03:02 PM.

[Nightmare1]

Wanderer was once conned into purchasing the Spruce Goose.

He is also the proud owner of Ocean-Front Property in Arizona, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Hoover Dam, and the TransPacific Tunnel.

He now spends most of his time wandering the Earth in search of the tunnel, since the Craigslist seller from whom he purchased it neglected to send him photos or an address for it.

[Nightmare1]

Marack reached the end of his road and decided to go to the cliff. After hang-gliding to its base, he shared the GoPro footage online and became an instant YouTube hit. Now he spends his days relaxing in a spa while beautiful women wait on him hand and foot, all thanks to the ridiculous revenues generated by that one video.

[Virlutris]

Nightmare1 has also made a sizeable sum of money marketing that GoPro footage through the black market in regions living under repressive regimes that limit access to YouTube.

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris was my distributor in most of those cases.

[Sizzles]

Nightmare stood atop the hill, sun setting at his back, making him little more than a silhouette to his enemy.

Countless others had fallen before him. . . But he alone would succeed, he had to. . .

Below him, two full legions of cupcakes stood in tight formation, with shields of peanut brittle and lances of licorice. The others had fallen with ease, what was but a single foe to them?

"What flavor be you!?" He bellows down to the army of confectionery delights.

The cupcakes looked to one another in confusion.

"Uh . . . Chocolate with butterscotch icing?" One said uncertainly.

Nightmare frowned. Who on Gods green earth would make such a combination?

But it mattered not. He drew forth a pair of sporks, and tucked a napkin into his shirt; it would be a long night . . .

When the bases commissary staff came in the next morning, they found Nightmare laying comatose inside the kitchen, atop one of the counters. Chocolate crumbs and yellowish icing everywhere.

XphR (who had decided to head up the staff for the week), looked around the room before ripping off his apron and puffy toque, throwing them on the ground and announcing "**** it, I'm going back to bed."

And they all lived happily ever after.



. . . Except for Nightmare. He developed type 2 diabeetus, and is still in a coma.

Edited by Sizzles, 21 February 2016 - 10:30 AM.

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles tends to hallucinate after over-dosing on Sweet and Low packets.

That boy just can't get enough of 'em!

[Virlutris]

Nighmare1 has an addiction to those little silica packets you get in ration packs.

He'll pop one the night before a day off so he can go on the requisite water-drinking bender all day the next day.

It's gotten to the point that he's beginning to recieve visions from Kerensky himself regarding his mech loadouts.

He's even beginning to find mystical patterns in Kerensky's build advice.

Calling it now: Intervention!!!1!1!!

Edited by Virlutris, 21 February 2016 - 04:07 PM.

[Sizzles]

Virlutris, was one of the many casualties of the great cupcake war.

He has been in sickbay for the last few days as the doctors are still trying to figure out how to pick all the peanut brittle out of his teeth and gums.

Send him flowers and candy everyone.

[MarineTech]

Unbeknownst to Sizzles, the government is secretly putting chemicals in his water that is radically shifting his behavior in very strange ways.

We all know it though.

He's completely mental.

[Sizzles]

MarineTech stole my elbow grease so he could trade it out for a left handed smoke shifter, that he gave to Nightmare, which he then traded to XphR for a sky hook.

Lord only knows what he wanted the sky hook for.

[MarineTech]

Scientists determined that 2 dolphins talking to each other over the phone, will recognize who they're talking to.,
(No, I'm not kidding. Some researcher actually got money to find this out.)

They do not recognize Sizzles though. Especially when he calls them at 1:30am looking to party.

Edited by MarineTech, 24 February 2016 - 10:31 AM.

[Nightmare1]

MarineTech knows that this is all true because he was the scientist wasting your money on that boondoggle.

[Virlutris]

Nightmare1 knows a boondoggle when he sees one.

He once won a grant to examine whether potatoes could pass the Turing test.

He found that, while they could not, data-mining the results hinted at a possible breakthrough in their ability to percieve their environment.

Finding follow-up funding to determine their ability to administer the Turing test was just too hard to scrounge up.

Nightmare1 sometimes sits with his mug of herbal tea and gazes out the jumpship window late after a shift, wondering what could have been.

[Sizzles]

Virlutris sometimes talks himself into trouble.

One fine day he he was sitting near his Staff Sargent in the mess. And he couldn't help but ask. "Hey Sarge? Where do I get a stick like that?"

"A stick like what?"

"A stick like the one you've got jammed up your backside."

Legend has it that he's still doing push-ups.