915 replies to this topic

[StompingOnTanks]

This thread isn't about rules it's about non-combat tips.

[Dexter Herbivore]

294. Attempting to quote Poe at any point while piloting a Raven will be punished.

[GrandLocomon]

295. LEEEERRROOOOOYYYYY JENKIIIINNSSSS!!!! Is not an approved tactical manoeuvre.

[MnDragon]

296. Using a plasma torch to "Saw-off" the barrel of your LB-10X won't make it look any cooler.
297. It is not necessary to "pump" your arm mounted LB-10Xs to reload them after every shot.
298. Turning your hand actuators to the side 90 degrees, while firing arm mounted AC2s does not help with aim, nor does yelling "Kack, Kack, Biotches!"
299. Melting down gold and using the arc welder to create a chain to wear around your Heavy Metal's neck is not appropriate.
300. No, wearing a bivouac tent in steiner colors around your mech's head does not make it look more "Gangsta"

Edited by MnDragon, 21 February 2014 - 07:27 AM.

[StompingOnTanks]

MnDragon, on 21 February 2014 - 07:24 AM, said:

296. Using a plasma torch to "Saw-off" the barrel of your LB-10X won't make it look any cooler.
297. It is not necessary to "pump" your arm mounted LB-10Xs to reload them after every shot.
298. Turning your hand actuators to the side 90 degrees, while firing arm mounted AC2s does not help with aim, nor does yelling "Kack, Kack, Biotches!"
299. Melting down gold and using the arc welder to create a chain to wear around your Heavy Metal's neck is not appropriate.
300. No, wearing a bivouac tent in steiner colors around your mech's head does not make it look more "Gangsta"

301. Removing armor around the pelvic and upper leg sections does not make you look bad-ass, it makes you look dumb-ass.

[Alaskan Nobody]

StompingOnTanks, on 03 February 2014 - 01:30 PM, said:

2. The Autocannon on your Centurion's right arm is not pump-action.

MnDragon, on 21 February 2014 - 07:24 AM, said:

297. It is not necessary to "pump" your arm mounted LB-10Xs to reload them after every shot.

I get the feeling you guys are trying to tell me something

[Hex Pallett]

GrandLocomon, on 21 February 2014 - 05:56 AM, said:

295. LEEEERRROOOOOYYYYY JENKIIIINNSSSS!!!! Is not an approved tactical manoeuvre.

I heart Steiner scout lance disagree on that....

[B0oN]

302 : "LEEEERRROOOOOYYY JEENNNNNEEEEERRRRKIIIIIINNNNSSSSS !" is an approved tactical manouver .
303 : "WAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH !" is also a very valid manouver best not forgotten .

[StompingOnTanks]

304. Orbital bombardment is not always the answer.
305. Anyone caught playing "Hot Potato" with a primed AC/20 round will be required to clean up the mess left behind by the loser.
306. Laser rifles may not be used to heat cold rations. I mean come on, seriously, we have like 30 ******* microwaves in the mess hall...
307. Never again will the head mechbay engineers accept requests to make anything over 50 tons move faster than 100KPH, especially for urban missions. Inertia is a beeyotch.
308. Any mech under 30 tons moving slower than 50KPH is technically safe to operate, but anyone who finds out it's yours will never ever take you seriously again.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 21 February 2014 - 07:27 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

StompingOnTanks, on 21 February 2014 - 07:25 PM, said:

308. Any mech under 30 tons moving slower than 50KPH is technically safe to operate, but anyone who finds out it's yours will never ever take you seriously again.

My Urbie lance would like to argue otherwise - especially in urban combat XD

[StompingOnTanks]

Shar Wolf, on 21 February 2014 - 07:38 PM, said:

My Urbie lance would like to argue otherwise - especially in urban combat XD

Note I said anything UNDER thirty tons.

[Alaskan Nobody]

StompingOnTanks, on 21 February 2014 - 07:39 PM, said:

Note I said anything UNDER thirty tons.

>.<

Paint me embarassed

[StompingOnTanks]

309. "Embarassed" is not a real color and the Mechbay engineers cannot paint your mech with it.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Only because they lack the creativity to do it

It's right between Jealousy and Foolish on the color chart!

Edited by Shar Wolf, 21 February 2014 - 07:50 PM.

[Sparks Murphey]

310. "Inflatable" is not a word that should be associated with quality armour.
311. A fusion reactor is a complicated piece of technology that requires many years training to service. "Thumping it right there" is not covered anywhere in that training, and should not be attempted.
312. Before getting a troupe of Centurions together to do a rendition of the Thriller dance, check that the owners of the area you will be staging it in are not averse to seeing it trampled.
313. If your mercenary contract states to "Destroy lance of Locusts on <planet name>. Payment of 500,000,000 c-bills on return to <other planet name>", consider very carefully what the employer may know about your chances of return that you don't.

[Scurry]

314: Doing the bunny hop in an Atlas next to parked civilian vehicles is forbidden.
315. Yes, your Heavy Metal Highlander has speakers. No, you may not play ice cream truck jingles.
316. No dubstep either.
317. Challenging Quickdraw pilots to duels at high noon is not permitted.
318. Dragons are not capable of mounting head flamers. Stop asking.
319. Despite the name, Commandoes are in no way stealthy.
320. No, your Wolverine cannot fit retractable claws on its hands.
321. Onions and Orions are very different things.
322. Despite the name, Cicadas are not jump-capable. Stop trying.
323. Replacing the Centurion's head fin with a shoebrush is frowned upon.
324. Playing PokeMech with your kills is not advisable.
325. Fitting a 2-ton bell to your Death's Knell is likely to reduce combat survivability.

[B0oN]

326. Sharpening a Centurion´s headfin into an axeblade is frowned upon by the Techs, as the sensors contained in this fin will likely be rendered useless .

[Dexter Herbivore]

327. Centurion champion mechs are NOT "a free engine". Your unit will be annoyed if you treat that mech as c-bills, a mechbay, and an engine.

Edited by Dexter Herbivore, 22 February 2014 - 07:37 AM.

[Reconius]

Whatever Number it is.) Getting Killed by an Urbanmech in Any Situation ever will be rewarded with an Assortment of Gold Medals and a Bowl of Captain Crunch.

2.)Tarantula Pilots are Not Allowed to Split off Form Colonies of 6-18 in any Nearby Cave.

3.) Hollanders Without any Limbs Cannot be Referred to as "Baseball Bats"

[Lightninguy]

331. Remember that one rule that one guy posted? Yeah, he was wrong.