915 replies to this topic

[Tustle]

Funny you mention rotary lasers...

Edited to a link because Tank don't know jack about embedding Youtube vids

Edited by Tank Man, 28 February 2014 - 01:13 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

430. A recent order from our (female) base commander says that the next person caught leaving the toilet seat up in the unisex bathroom will face serious repercussions involving their rank and the machine they pilot. The next person to leave the toilet seat up without flushing ( ) will be executed by firing squad.
431. Setting the lance newbie's gyro to work in reverse poses the risk of serious damage to the BattleMech in question and any ground personnel who may be nearby when the mech tries to move. Further actions of this type will not be allowed, even though watching Ravens and Commandos spin and stumble around like drunk ballerinas is pretty funny.
432. Switching the "Good Guy" and "Bad Guy" wires in the IFF system of training 'Mechs is strictly forbidden, no matter how thick the drill sergeant's rear torso armor is.
433. Commandos do not grow up to be Atlases, Ravens do not grow up to be Stalkers or Catapults, Locusts do not grow up to be Jagermechs, Blackjacks and Cicadas, Firestarters do not grow up to be Centurions, Kintaros and Trebuchets, and Spiders do not grow up to be Quickdraws. Do not tell new recruits this.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 01 March 2014 - 06:22 AM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

StompingOnTanks, on 01 March 2014 - 06:21 AM, said:

433. Commandos do not grow up to be Atlases, Ravens do not grow up to be Stalkers or Catapults, Locusts do not grow up to be Jagermechs, Blackjacks and Cicadas, Firestarters do not grow up to be Centurions, Kintaros and Trebuchets, and Spiders do not grow up to be Quickdraws. Do not tell new recruits this.

Of course not..... it works the other way around.

[Dexter Herbivore]

434. Your Spider is NOT a "Manned Aerial Vehicle" regardless of how many jump-jets you have installed.

[StompingOnTanks]

435. "Leroy Jenkins-ing" is only a viable tactic when your entire company has just spent three hours coming up with a viable tactic.

[Scurry]

436. "Webshooters" are not an acceptable or even feasible replacement for jump jets on a Spider.
437. The next person to do Tarzan yells over open comms while using jumpjets will be hung from a rope and slammed into trees repeatedly.

[Linksdx]

438. do not anger the Atlas pilots yes there mech may be slow but all that means is they have more time to think of truly nasty things to do to you when they catch you and mark my words they will catch you, you don't make it as a atlas driver without patience.

439. do not shoot a team mates atlas in the back if your mech is small enough for them to pick you up those hand actuator's do work and they will have no problem picking your mech up and using you as a meat shield in return

[990Dreams]

440: Pneumatic actuated fists on an Atlas are allowed, but you are paying for it.

[Blood Rose]

441: Kaigu hunting is allowed, but only if your willing to pay the costs of repairing/recovering you Mech yourself.

442: No, we cannot fit your mech with elbow rockets like Gypsy Danger had. It is impractical, and ineffective.

443: Dual cockpits do not make your Mech a 'Love Machine' if your other pilot is of the opposite sex.

444: Loading porn onto your screens may be fun, but you wont know your ammo levels if you do.

445: SUPPORT YOUR ATLAS!

[990Dreams]

Blood Rose, on 02 March 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

441: Kaigu hunting is allowed, but only if your willing to pay the costs of repairing/recovering you Mech yourself.

442: No, we cannot fit your mech with elbow rockets like Gypsy Danger had. It is impractical, and ineffective.

443: It's spelled Kaiju

444: You could but your arm would fly off if you tried to use them.

[Linksdx]

446. under no circumstances are you to ever paint a smiley-face on a atlas, its take away from the entire point of having A 'Mech as powerful as possible, as impenetrable as possible, and as ugly and foreboding as conceivable, so that fear itself will be our ally. and no the excuse that its makes the Atlas more positive to be around wont help and if the Atlas pilot or crew chief catches you or finds out who you are expect to suffer ...the last guy? well were still finding bits and pieces they strapped the stupid poor sod to the AC 20 barrel and fired it

Edited by Linksdx, 02 March 2014 - 09:54 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Linksdx, on 02 March 2014 - 09:50 PM, said:

446. under no circumstances are you to ever paint a smiley-face on a atlas

And here I was about to paint a purple suit on it to match.......

[Cactus In The Rear]

447. Purple suits and mustaches are allowed on atlases.

Edited by Xanilos, 03 March 2014 - 11:56 AM.

[StompingOnTanks]

448. Fishnets are not. That's for the Stalkers.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Xanilos, on 03 March 2014 - 11:56 AM, said:

447. Purple suits and mustaches are allowed on atlases.

But not a purple suit and grin?

[Linksdx]

449. only evil deranged smirks or grins are allowed on the atlas since to be honest we all know the atlas smile's when it finds a lone medium anyway

[Cactus In The Rear]

Shar Wolf, on 03 March 2014 - 11:16 AM, said:

And here I was about to paint a purple suit on it to match.......

Xanilos, on 03 March 2014 - 11:56 AM, said:

447. Purple suits and mustaches are allowed on atlases.

Purple suit? Check. Mustache? Check.

Edited by Xanilos, 03 March 2014 - 01:56 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Xanilos, on 03 March 2014 - 01:20 PM, said:

It is...... beautiful

[Cactus In The Rear]

Shar Wolf, on 03 March 2014 - 01:28 PM, said:

It is...... beautiful

I actually run it with that paint

448. If you buy a Boar's Head then by Georg you better use all its energy hardpoints!

Edited by Xanilos, 03 March 2014 - 01:44 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Xanilos, on 03 March 2014 - 01:44 PM, said:

448. If you buy a Boar's Head then by Georg you better use all its energy hardpoints!

I ran it as one of my highest damaging mechs with the 6MPL it came with - dropped to 2LPL and my W/L skyrocketed..... but the mech's personal scores plummeted.