44 replies to this topic

[Vellron2005]

Hey guys!

Here's an idea...

Post your battletech-related jokes.. here!

So any kind of joke, no matter how bad, great, drity or old, as long as its battletech related, is fine!

I'm gonna try some out, just to get things started..

1) What do you call a lance of IS lights?
.........................................................
A feast of crows!

2) What does a field commander say when he gets mech reinforcements?
.....................................................................................................................
ATLAS't!

3) During the Clan invasion, he Innersphere cried out for reinforcements..
.....................................................................................................................
The Dev's gave them CRABS!

4) What does a solitary Direwolf pilot do when he sees a Raven approaching?
...........................................................................................................................
Pray. Seriously... pray.

5) What does a ragequitting Raven pilot say when he gets the defeat screen?
..........................................................................................................................
Nevermore!

6) What is the favoured themesong of an Aweome's pilot?
...............................................................................................
Everything is Awesooooome! (when your part of a team)

7) What is the officual Clan Wolf cigarette?
.......................................................................
Walter Wolf. (the people from the balkans will get this)

8) What is the best defence strategy on Vitric Forge?
.....................................................................................
Sunscreen.

9) What do you call a Large Laser sniper?
....................................................................
A Surgeon.

What do you call a AC20 brawler?
....................................................................
A mechanic.

10) Why do Timberwolves Jump Jet?
....................................................................
Couse' they can't fly.

Wow these suck... do better guys. I dare you.

EDIT - Bonus round

11) A Blonde, a Thunderbolt and a Timberwolf walk into a bar, and a fight breaks out. Who dies last?
................................................................................................................................................................
The Timberwolf... Becouse its so OP...

12) A blonde, a brunette, and a readhead play MWO, but nobody likes the blond.. Why is that?
.....................................................................................................................................................
Because she has CRABS!

Edited by Vellron2005, 09 July 2015 - 05:48 AM.

[Lugh]

https://youtu.be/xCc-RWIp7XU

[CDLord HHGD]

I used to be a scout mech till I took a LRM to the knee actuator.

[kesmai]

Funny . really .

[MeiSooHaityu]

cdlord, on 09 July 2015 - 05:36 AM, said:

I used to be a scout mech till I took a LRM to the knee actuator.

Nice! But I always preferred using the Arrow IV .

[Juodas Varnas]

Yo mama's so ugly, IS targeting computers identified her as a Man O' War.

Yo mama's so fat, I mistook her for a Daishi.

[CDLord HHGD]

Juodas Varnas, on 09 July 2015 - 06:18 AM, said:

Yo mama's so ugly, IS targeting computers identified her as a Man O' War.

Yo mama's so fat, I mistook her for a Daishi.

Yo mama so fat the targeting computer reminded you that attacking dropships is against the Ares Conventions.

[MechWarrior849305]

Such funny jokes... My eyes r bleedin

[Juodas Varnas]

DuoAngel, on 09 July 2015 - 06:25 AM, said:

Such funny jokes... My eyes r bleedin

That's the same reaction i had, when i saw your Gladiator.

You guys, really have a knack at making your mechs ugly.

Edited by Juodas Varnas, 09 July 2015 - 06:26 AM.

[MechWarrior849305]

Juodas Varnas, on 09 July 2015 - 06:25 AM, said:

That's the same reaction i had, when i saw your Gladiator.

You guys, really have a knack at making your mechs ugly.

Is it supposed to be a joke of a topic?
Otherwise... where could you see my Gladiator, when I don't own them?

[Kira Onime]

Flamers.

[Lugh]

DuoAngel, on 09 July 2015 - 06:28 AM, said:

Is it supposed to be a joke of a topic?
Otherwise... where could you see my Gladiator, when I don't own them?

That's the thing, you have a clan tag, so jokes being typically exploits of horrible steroetypes, YOU wouldn't be you individually, but You Clanners. Of course having to explain joke mechanics to enable you to chuckle is a reflection on your intelligence or lack of a sense of humor, Tubie.

Your mama don't know who your daddy is Freebirther.

[Juodas Varnas]

Lugh, on 09 July 2015 - 06:32 AM, said:

Your mama don't know who your daddy is Freebirther.

And you don't have a mama. You fatty fatty, no parents.

[MechWarrior849305]

Lugh, on 09 July 2015 - 06:32 AM, said:

That's the thing, you have a clan tag, so jokes being typically exploits of horrible steroetypes, YOU wouldn't be you individually, but You Clanners. Of course having to explain joke mechanics to enable you to chuckle is a reflection on your intelligence or lack of a sense of humor, Tubie.

Your mama don't know who your daddy is Freebirther.

Oh, I get that. Didn't your mom tell you that joke which can't make people laugh can't be considered as a joke? Oh... sorry, you lack a knowledge of a word "mom",.. clanner

Edited by DuoAngel, 09 July 2015 - 06:38 AM.

[Juodas Varnas]

DuoAngel, on 09 July 2015 - 06:36 AM, said:

Oh, I get that. Don't your mom told you that joke which can't make people laugh can't be considered as a joke? Oh... sorry, you lack a knowledge of a word "mom",.. clanner

Well, i don't think there's a joke that everyone finds funny.
Especially nowadays, because you can't even make a joke without someone, somewhere getting offended over it...

[Kiyoshi Amaya]

What's yellow, dangerous and very sparkly?.....



Diamond Shark infested custard.

[MoonUnitBeta]

Yo mama so stupid, she asked a Commando if he was wearing underwear.

Edited by MoonUnitBeta, 09 July 2015 - 08:12 AM.

[Rhaythe]

An Atlas walks into a bar and falls over drunk. Critical hit. Cockpit.

Oh, wait. A GOOD BattleTech joke...

[MoonUnitBeta]

Two ravens were awkwardly intertwined.
When asked what they were doing, they said, "Huginn"

Edited by MoonUnitBeta, 09 July 2015 - 06:52 AM.

[Maxx Blue]

Shrekken, on 09 July 2015 - 06:41 AM, said:

What's yellow, dangerous and very sparkly?.....



Diamond Shark infested custard.

That used to be a Sea Fox infested custard until SOMEONE stuck their shark in it.