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Excerpt from Star Wars: Shadows Rising


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#1 guardian wolf

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 05:29 PM

Ok some general knowledge, this is a work in progress, and the setting currently (as we are about a quarter of the way through the book) is Alderaan. The Great Hyperspace war is raging, and the main character, for now named Draco, is a Jedi on the run, from not only the Order, which he ran away from for various reasons (will be explained in the excerpt), but also the Sith, which he joined to complete his training, and then left because of the apparent lack of any true good intentions. His twin brother, for the moment, named Phiro, is assigned to hunt him, and bring him back to the Jedi Order. He killed the Sith Master of the Academy in cold blood, and fled with a trio of other students. Now he is part of the GAR to hide from both, and fight the Sith. He is currently listed as a Sniper, but also has his lightsaber on hand. Now to the story.


Draco shifted his weight from foot to foot. It was raining, and his rifle, slung over his back, along with his pack, was going to need a cleaning. He looked over at the other recruit he had befriended, Kaiden, and walked towards their designated sqaud. As they walked, Draco took out his rifle, and sighted in his rifle on a nearby tree. Satisfied it was in working order he put it back, and continued towards the gathering area, where several troopers were milling about, some cleaning weapons, most laying about. The sentry noticed them, and called out.
"Hey Sarge, we got some Shinies,"
Draco stopped at the word and looked at Kaiden, Kaiden shrugged. The sentry seemed to understand their pedicament.
"It means, your green, fresh, not tested,"
A man appeared, with a scar across his face, starting at his chin, and working its way across his cheek, ending near the left eye. Even at 2.1 meters, Draco was towered over by this man. "Sarge" stuck his hand into Draco's chestplate, and it left a grimy handprint where it had been.
"Names, come on, we haven't all day,"
Draco and Kaiden flashed quick salutes.
"Sir, Draco Skirata, sniper, reporting for duty, sir,"
"Sir, Kaiden Ordo, rifleman, reporting for duty, sir,"
Sarge nodded, and then spoke.
"When we are in the field, don't salute it points at who the snipers need to kill,"
They nodded, and their hands fell sharply, still at attention. Sarge looked inquisitively, and then realized why.
"At ease, blast, you don't have to be at attention all the time here," He looked at the sentry, and the sentry nodded.
"Verd'ika," The sentry said, it meant private, and amongst the ranks, it stood for green, untested. It was an insult. Draco growled a response back at the sentry.
"Ke nu jurkad mando'ad burc'ye,"
The sentry had the look of surprise on his face, and Draco could feel the stunned look on his face, even under his helmet. Sarge nodded approval, and replied.
"Ke mandakarla, ke verd,"
(Will post more later, must go now, due to unforseen circumstances)

Edited by guardian wolf, 10 July 2012 - 04:19 PM.


#2 guardian wolf

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 06:20 PM

(Continued from above)
The sentry nodded in agreement. Sarge looked at the both of them, and his tone of voice changed to a more warm, and welcoming tone.
"Welcome to Echo Sqaud, as you probably know, we are currently on R&R, waiting for you two, and now, awaiting orders. This," he pointed to the sentry, " is Damarus, he is our infiltration expert, and our radio man. Come on, I'll introduce you to what's left of the squad," He turned, and Draco, along with Kaiden, followed them. As they walked through the camp, they caught the different names of the group, Shateel, was the group's demolition expert, and also explosive heavy weapons expert. ****, was the group's grenadier, and two brothers, Gavin, and Dereck were the other two Riflemen. Sarge, they learned, was the squad's haevy weapons expert, and had a huge chain gun. The meetings were uneventful, as each of the squad members, only nodded, and apparently didn't seem to care that Draco, and Kaiden, even existed. From what Draco heard from the hearsay, this squad had seen lots of casualties. He would definitely have to earn his place amongst them. Sarge finally seemed to answer Draco's question.
"We're mostly Mandalorians, with a few outsiders, but, we have seen that we work together as a family. The people you are replacing, were really good, and died proudly. When you see through your first fight, maybe then they'll accept you as family. But until then-"
"SIR!!!" Damarus sprinted forward, he looked fearful, and tense, "We have Sith Warships in orbit, command is calling all troops to stand at attention, and await further orders,"
Sarge's eyes hardened, and he nodded.
"You heard him, fall in, Echo Squad, on your feet, we have visitors!"
"What they miss us too much sir?"
"Stow it ****,"
"Yes sir,"
Sarge strode forward, and looked to the sky, several leviathan class warships perched overhead, and were unchallenged due to the lack of Republic ships of war. Sarge looked toward Damarus and spoke.
"Radio nearby squads, have them man nearby defenses,"
"Yes sir, and command?"
"Tell them we will hold to the best of our ability, we cannot wait for them to respond, ECHO SQUAD, MAN YOUR STATIONS!"
Sarge turned to Draco and Kaiden, and Draco could tell that both he and Kaiden, were uneasy. Sarge seemed to be able to see it as well. He patted Draco on the shoulder.
"Take the high ground, I want you to take them as they present themselves. There is a tower over there, you, go with him, keep each other alive, and when we call fall back, go back, for no one, understand?"
"Yes sir," They both nearly shouted.
It was Draco's first combat operation, and he was nervous. The basic training he had received, hadn't prepared him for this, his days at the Jedi Temple, or the Sith Academy on Korriban, didn't do a thing to still the butterflies in his stomach. Draco and Kaiden went off on a quick march, and quickly spotted a tower to take a position at. He scrambled up the ladder, and set his rifle on the railing and sighted the scope in. A Sith shuttle flew overhead and someone fired a missile launcher. It caught the shuttle on the wing, and it went screaming overhead, past the two's position. Several others went by, and more missiles came to meet them. Several landed troopers began to pour out of them, and Draco took the first shot of the battle. It caught the Sith trooper dead center of his chest, and he dropped like a rock. All hell broke loose right then, as blaster fire, grenades, and cannons began firing rounds. Left and right, Republic and Sith Troopers opened fire, and hits began to score on what little cover the Sith Troopers had found in the trees, and the makeshift defenses of Republic troops. Draco and Kaiden fired shots into the fray, and then, the droids started to pour out of the shuttles. Their grenades and heavy lasers began to open up onto the makeshift defenses of the Republic troops. The troopers returned fire with the grenade launchers, and missiles, but the war droids kept coming. Draco fired several rounds into one, but it didn't stop firing, and instead, began to train its weapons onto their position. It suddenly exploded as a grenade smacked into its center mass. Then Draco watched in horror as the enemy fighters swooped in, fast and low. They began to strafe their positions, and troopers began to fall, screaming, explosions rocked the troopers positions, and where proud soldiers once held their lines, they vanished into dust. Draco heard his comlink go abuzz with orders from squad leaders, and he heard Sarge.
"Echo Squad, fall back. ****, get Draco and Kaiden to rally point Epsilon,"
"Yes sir,"

(First off, wow, it blocks F a e n, one of the character's names, and second, edited post because it didn't paste correctly, enjoy.)

Edited by guardian wolf, 12 July 2012 - 06:22 PM.


#3 Chunkymonkey

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 09:36 PM

Im not sure some of your Mando is right, im not sure though because the only books with Mandolorians that i read were the Republic Commando and Imperial Commando books....and we all know those books ended up like a soap opera. "O no, they killed my wife! (4 chapters of sorrow and rememberance)" I always liked the X-Wing books more.

Anyways, is this fan fiction or a official excerpt?

#4 guardian wolf

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Posted 13 July 2012 - 06:11 PM

Like I said, work in progress, will try to make better translations to Mando'a, as it is a bit rough from English, and my Mando'a is rusty.

#5 Lightdragon

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 05:13 PM

why are we polluting a battletech forum with star wars garbage? thats almost as bad as adding pony to everything

#6 guardian wolf

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Posted 15 July 2012 - 12:36 PM

View PostLightdragon, on 14 July 2012 - 05:13 PM, said:

why are we polluting a battletech forum with star wars garbage? thats almost as bad as adding pony to everything

I aksed for a few forum friends to look it over for me, if you would like, you can critique it yourself, otherwise, please do not clutter this topic.

#7 guardian wolf

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 04:26 PM

(Continued from last piece of excerpt.)
Draco watched as one of the troopers, presumably Fa en (it has to be typed like that in order to come through), made a mad dash towards the small tower. Kaiden and Draco opened up to provide covering fire, and killed several other Sith troops when Fa en had finally arrived. HE scrambled up the ladder and immediately started shouting just to be heard over the rucous that the firefight was making.

"WE GOTTA MOVE NOW!! SHAADLAR, SHAADLAR!!"

Draco and Kaiden gave a thumbs up, and Kaiden started down the ladder first, sliding down, and then jumping down the last 3 feet. Draco went next, in the same fashion, and when he landed, he raised his rifle to engage, should the need arise. Fa en was last down, and they were about to run off, when Draco spotted Sarge. The soldier was running towards them, leading several troopers in a small fallback maneuver, of fire, and move, when a grenade exploded near him, and sent him sailing through the air. He landed hard, and Draco could see him making slow, sluggish movements. His words echoed in his mind, Go back, for no one. Draco was about to take a step away, when he remembered his Father's dying words. Save those you can, and try for those that seem impossible. Draco turned around and faced towards Sarge's now limp body. He heard shouting, it sounded like Fa en, but it seemed far off. Draco began to run. He ducked and dodged as blasterbolts, and grenades flew this way and that, his adrenaline now in full blast, and his senses, razor sharp. He fired two rounds from his sniper rifle into oncoming troopers, more to make them take cover, then to kill. Draco dived the last five feet, it seemed like miles, and landed next to Sarge. He heard his voice, now a rasp.

"Leave me,"

Draco's reply was even, and sounded dead.

"No,"

Draco slung his sniper rifle over his shoulder, and picked up Sarge. What normally would have required great strength, seemed like a paper weight, as both his adrenaline, and the force fueled his efforts. Kaiden was providing Draco covering fire, and Fa en, was as well. Draco ran with all his legs had left, and hauled Sarge's body towards the treeline, away from danger, away from death. Kaiden was about to turn, when a shot caught him in the shoulder. He fell over, and then started to run back, when a sniper shot, caught his helmet dead center. He fell, lifelessly to the ground. Draco shouted, his heart nearly stopped as time stood still. He had been partnered with him since bootcamp, and now, in his first battle, he was dead. Time seemed to creep back slowly, as he heard a shout from Fa en, it was calling him to move. As if with a change of heart, Fa en began to drag Kaiden's body from the firefight. They reached the forest, and Draco realized, he was crying. When they had finally stopped running, Draco lay down Sarge, and then stepped over to Kaiden's lifeless corpse. He started to sob, as he was one of the closest friends he had ever had. He was the one that he had met in the Sith Academy, always afraid, and yet, strong. They had shared Bootcamp, and ride to Alderaan, and now, he was gone. He took off his helmet, and saw his face. It was calm, almost at peace, even when it was pale from bloodloss. Draco set the helmet on the ground, and fell to his knees. He was now sobbing uncontrollably. The Sith now had taken two of the people he considered family. The other soldiers stood silently as they tended to Sarge, and Draco heard the voice that he first heard when he was in the Sith Academy, the voice that he had fought for control of his very body against. It called for blood, it called, for vengeance. Sarge finally sat up, and addressed Draco.
"You disobeyed direct orders to leave me, and for that, I owe you my life. Welcome to Echo Squad Draconis, I think it is time we returned the favor these Sith paid to us,"
Draco stood and spoke coldly, full of anger and malice, as finally the voice and himself, no longer fought each other, but embraced each other.
"KE NU JURKAD MANDO'AD, I will kill every last one myself if need be sir,"
"Good, Echo, let's move out, and secure a better location. Fa en, see if you can't raise any other squads,"

#8 guardian wolf

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 05:38 PM

Also forgot to post that is the end of the excerpt, please post comments, concerns, compliments, and complaints below!!!! Thanks for reading.



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