24 replies to this topic

[cSand]

I gotta say one of the most hilarious things last night in the group queue. *verbage enhanced for dramatic effect*


It so happened that us dirty -PUGs had the pleasure of Sandpit riding shotgun for the evening. We had lost a lot, not stomps. but a bunch of losses which had us a little edgy. Wanting some joy to cap off the night before we finished up.

So finally we land on Tourmanline, our last match of the night. Most of our team was fighting the enemy heavies etc and doing a very good job of serving it up and keeping them busy.

So some group on the Red team had decided to take all Jenner IICs, and ACH and some other light and swarm us, as our lance was a little seperated from the rest. In total about 6 of the little buggers. A good move, in most cases, and potentially deadly...

Little did they know we had the double fists, Blottomus and Sixbux, both SSRM6 Mad Dogs. That's 72 SSRMs people. And they were hungry. Backing it up was me and Sandpit wielding AC20s and some pent up rage for a string of losses.

These cocky little diddlers came in to swarm our lance for some easy kills and then it happened. Like unleashing sharks into a tank of seals. Bruce Lee into a kindergarten karate class. Bruce Campbell into the middleages with a shotgun and chainsaw.

Whoosh after whoosh of SSRM volleys. Screams of rage and joy. Jenner parts flying everywhere. They tried to run, oh how they tried. The horror they must have experienced once they realized the mire of sh*t they just stepped into. Carnage. A Jenner stopped in front of me ON1-K and feebly cranked some lasers into me, thinking to finish my damaged torso.. He did a reasonable amount of damage, but I stared him down and took it. I laughed in his face, and then cartwheeled him with a couple of well placed AC20 shots as he desperately tried to back up and flee. Sandpit was laughing maniacally. He blew the ACH right off the mountain side. "F**K your ACH!" I think he snapped, I dunno.

The mayhem was real, and satisfaction was through the roof. Before we knew it was over, and we were focusing down the last Atlas and Stalker. Toying with them. Stripping parts off with AC20 blasts and 72 missile. After a string of losses there was nothing but cold hard retribution. Our motley little group had redeemed itself ti the most important people of all - ourselves.

There is no moral to ths story. Just a tale of some pugs and a Sandpit

[TheCharlatan]

Anyone killing an ACH with an AC20 any weapon has my approval.
Well done guys.

Edited by TheCharlatan, 18 December 2015 - 10:02 AM.

[Bishop Steiner]

TheCharlatan, on 18 December 2015 - 10:02 AM, said:

Anyone killing an ACH with an AC20 any weapon has my approval.
Well done guys.

I love the gymnastic routines they do when they actual register damage... My Hunchy loves to play colorectal surgeon with ACHs.....

Edited by Bishop Steiner, 18 December 2015 - 11:50 AM.

[Skoll]

I would not be opposed to an ACH holocaust. Camps, gas, the works.

[Novakaine]

Was in a match that had a whole lance of swarmin cheeto's.
Why is that even happening now?
Anyway people started poppin arty's like crazy.
Needless to say they died quick.
Loved it.

[MechWarrior3671771]

Great story. Think I'll have my wife read it to me every night before bed

Fen: "And the cheetahs all died?"

Wifey: "Yes dear, their screams still echo across the verse"

Fen:

[DrxAbstract]

This just in: Effective anti-light weapons are effective against lights... Full story at 11.

[Bud Crue]

Neb has taught me that while killing Cheetah's is certainly a good thing, it is a far, far more satisfying action to leg them (after their arms are blown off, which almost always happens first), and then walk away. Just walk away.

Wait until everyone else on their team is dead, and only then kill them. Even if you end up losing, imagining the Cheetah pilot with his/her overblown sense of invincibility who would otherwise be running around shooting everyone in the back; now hobbled and unable to engage the enemy, sitting there full of impotent rage...is just about the height of joy in this game.

While certainly you can do this to all mechs, there is something special about doing this to a Cheetah.

[mogs01gt]

DrxAbstract, on 18 December 2015 - 11:30 AM, said:

This just in: Effective anti-light weapons are effective against lights... Full story at 11.

Their only effective when boated sadly.

[Alan Davion]

Bishop Steiner, on 18 December 2015 - 10:03 AM, said:

I love the gymnastic routines do when they actual register damage... My Hunchy loves to play colorectal surgeon with ACHs.....

I almost fell out of my chair from laughing so hard upon reading this. Thanks Bishop.

[DrxAbstract]

mogs01gt, on 18 December 2015 - 11:38 AM, said:

Their only effective when boated sadly.

You can boat AC20s? Forget Jesus, mogs take the wheel!

[Narcissistic Martyr]

Ok... what kind of jenner pilot stops in FRONT of a big mech to get it's damaged torso?

[LordNothing]

my 36 tube jenner iic is a death machine, though it usually cant survive getting a second kill let alone a 3rd or 4th. pulled off 3 once.

Edited by LordNothing, 18 December 2015 - 01:26 PM.

[DrxAbstract]

Narcissistic Martyr, on 18 December 2015 - 12:31 PM, said:

Ok... what kind of jenner pilot stops in FRONT of a big mech to get it's damaged torso?

That is NOT the point here.

[Ezekeel666]

Nothing really is more satisfying than killing a light that was bugging you the entire game. You leg them and they flail their little torso around in panic, then look at you in disbelieve, realizing they gonna die and you shoot them right in their ugly faces until they pop. Revenge is a dish best served with a big dakka.

[RussianWolf]

cSand.... where's the vid man? Gotta record stuff like this for the enjoyment of all.

[DrxAbstract]

Ezekeel666, on 18 December 2015 - 01:41 PM, said:

Nothing really is more satisfying than killing a light that was bugging you the entire game. You leg them and they flail their little torso around in panic, then look at you in disbelieve, realizing they gonna die and you shoot them right in their ugly faces until they pop. Revenge is a dish best served with a big dakka.

I have killed many, many, many people like you in my one-legged light because you mistook that torso 'flailing' as panic, the staring you down as some sort of acceptance of imminent demise. The reality of the situation is that 'flailing' is spreading your damage and the 'staring' is waiting for the target lock i have on you to show me where your weak spots are... And as you stand before me, stationary, full of arrogance and gloating over your presumed victory, I shoot your armor-less Gauss arm, causing it to explode. Your otherwise safe side torso goes with it, along with half your weapons or your XL.

And as your smoking bulk slams into the dirt, remember that my 'ugly face' was the last thing you saw on this battlefield.

[Barantor]

DrxAbstract, on 18 December 2015 - 02:25 PM, said:

I have killed many, many, many people like you in my one-legged light because you mistook that torso 'flailing' as panic, the staring you down as some sort of acceptance of imminent demise. The reality of the situation is that 'flailing' is spreading your damage and the 'staring' is waiting for the target lock i have on you to show me where your weak spots are... And as you stand before me, stationary, full of arrogance and gloating over your presumed victory, I shoot your armor-less Gauss arm, causing it to explode. Your otherwise safe side torso goes with it, along with half your weapons or your XL.

And as your smoking bulk slams into the dirt, remember that my 'ugly face' was the last thing you saw on this battlefield.

Which happens 1:100 times. The rest of the time the little cheeto wriggles to spread damage as I take the other leg off.

Any light that stops is a dead light.

Any light that runs in a straight line away from me? Also dead light.

[cSand]

RussianWolf, on 18 December 2015 - 01:46 PM, said:

cSand.... where's the vid man? Gotta record stuff like this for the enjoyment of all.

Shamefully... I haven't been able to figure the recording of games out (More just haven't put the time in to get it setup, lol)

[DrxAbstract]

Barantor, on 18 December 2015 - 03:35 PM, said:

Which happens 1:100 times. The rest of the time the little cheeto wriggles to spread damage as I take the other leg off.

Any light that stops is a dead light.

Any light that runs in a straight line away from me? Also dead light.

Considering it happens on a daily basis for me, 1:100 seems a bit off. And no, a light coming to a stop is not automatically dead, contrary to popular belief. It's a good method of disrupting someone's aim, as a matter of fact. The Locust exemplifies this best. The running in straight lines thing... /shrug.