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I Think The Matchmaker Hates The God Of Death Title


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#1 Xavori

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 11:29 AM

Ever since I decided to put on my God of Death title, the matchmaker has been sticking me with terribad teams.

It's so bad that when I looked up bad in the dictionary, there was a picture of my teams. And your mom. But mostly my teams.

It's so bad that there are more potatoes in my matches than there are near my home, and I live in freakin' Idaho.

It's so bad that my teams are actually dying more often, and in more numerous ways, than Sean Bean.

It's so bad that my teams are trying and usually succeeding at getting a single mech in every grid square on every map.

It's so bad that my teams couldn't hit the broad side of a Thanatos. At point blank range. While the Thanatos is shut down.

It's so bad that even enemy Quickdraws are looking like comp builds.

It's so bad that I've just gone ahead and removed the rear armor from all my mechs so that my teammates take less team damage from shooting me in the back.

It's so bad that even Alan Smithee won't put his name on it.

It's so bad that it makes that fruitcake that your family has been regifting to each other the last twenty years look good.

It's so bad that it makes PGI look like geniuses for scheduling an even to coincide with a major American holiday.

It's so bad that Marvel decided to make it the next episode of the Inhumans.

It's so bad it makes Yoko Ono look like a musical genius.

In other words, I'm saying it's bad.

p.s. Confirmation bias is so very real...

#2 - World Eater -

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 11:34 AM

What else is "so bad"?

#3 Armored Yokai

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 11:45 AM

Play for yourself, many players do this...no point in playing for the team unless there's Conquest.

#4 Termin8rSmurf

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 02:50 PM

By using the god of death title, you are proclaiming yourself to be the mightiest of team carriers. You, yourself, are become Death. You are the god of it. If you cannot carry your team sufficiently well to win a full on potato soup match, you should remove the title until you can do so.

#5 Grus

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 02:55 PM

Someone's been reading Carl Vickers posts way to much.. and on that note..

#inbeforecarlvickerspostsapotato

#6 Paigan

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 03:47 PM

Superstition at its best.

#7 The6thMessenger

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 03:51 PM

Try wearing a different title.

#8 Devil Fox

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 04:51 PM

View PostGrus, on 18 November 2017 - 02:55 PM, said:

Someone's been reading Carl Vickers posts way to much.. and on that note..

#inbeforecarlvickerspostsapotato


His potato senses were so strong... he had to be removed for his own safety... to a far away land... never allowed to venture forth upon this sea of potato soup.

#9 N0ni

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Posted 18 November 2017 - 07:46 PM

I heard the next cockpit item is going to be a tinfoil hat that will be awarded to everyone who was active during the Thanatos event.

#10 Xavori

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Posted 19 November 2017 - 05:36 AM

View PostN0ni, on 18 November 2017 - 07:46 PM, said:

I heard the next cockpit item is going to be a tinfoil hat that will be awarded to everyone who was active during the Thanatos event.


It works even better if you attach a 9-volt battery to the brim of your foil hat





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