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A Taxonomy Of Light Pilots


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#1 Cnaiur

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 05:30 PM

Excited by the Flea's release, and motivated by the recent event and the surfeit of lights thereof, I find myself compelled to once again put pen to paper and document the rich diversity of light mech pilots that fill our matches with fun and excitement. For science.

1. The Remora

Like his namesake, this pilot permanently attaches his mech to a larger, stronger mech and hangs on for dear life. While occasionally useful in certain mechs and maps (Iron Dome Kitfox on Polar), most of the time the Remora just gets in the way and doesn’t do the useful things good light pilots do, like find and shoot enemies. This pilot is frequently found hanging out around ramps and chokepoints, right behind (in a very real and literal sense) his host assault mech.

Battle Cry: “Don’t worry assaults, I’ve got your back!”

2. The Objectivist

This pilot is here to, well, play the objective. And ONLY the objective. If the gamemode is Conquest, he’s capping. Incursion? Running batteries. Assault? BASE RUSH! What he won’t do is damage. Will often morph into the Remora in Skirmish games.

Battle Cry: “Need more mechs to cap Epsilon!”

3. The Sports Bra

As his name indicates, this pilot is here to offer unstinting support to his team. ECM? Check. NARC? Check. Tag? Check. Multiple UAVs? Check. AMS? Check. Maxed Sensor skill tree? Check! Weapons and the ability/willingness to use them? Ummmmm…..

Is often confused with The Objectivist, but unlike The Objectivist he’s not terrified to make visual contact with the enemy.

Battle Cry: “I fit two NARCs so I can use one while the other is on cooldown!”

4. Great Odin’s Raven

Like Huginn or Muninn of lore, this pilot maintains a lofty perch over the battlespace from a great, GREAT distance, ever watchful for the opportunity to deploy his ER Large Lasers or single Light Gauss Rifle at ranges approaching 1500m. Can be easily identified by his 8000 DPI mouse with maxed sensitivity settings. That and the fact he’s usually in a Raven.

Battle Cry: “How did we lose?”

5. Disco Stu

This pilot is stuck in the past, stubbornly hanging onto mechs and builds that have long since been made obsolete. The rest of the world has moved on, but he’s not letting go of those small pulse lasers. They’re still cool!

Battle Cry: “Check out my sweet SRM Jenner!”

6. The Duelist

This hotblooded pilot is looking to fling his speedy mech into honorable 1v1 combat as quickly as possible and isn’t concerned about the details. Details such as the type of mech he fights, the loadout of that mech, or whether his fight is actually 1v1. This guy is the reason your matches always seem to be 0-1 in the first 30 seconds.

Battle Cry: “Found the reds in Hotel 6.” *Pilot has disconnected*

7. The Salt Miner

This pilot has the terrifying ability to materialize behind you when you’re busy doing something else. On those rare occasions you get to shoot at him you’d better make it count, because he’ll be under cover in an eyeblink. He’s responsible for uncounted tears and more RAEG posts than pretty much any other phenomenon in MWO.

Battle Cry: *tinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktink* CRITICAL DAMAGE DETECTED AMMO EXPLOSION DETECTED


8. The LINO, or Light-In-Name-Only

While technically a light pilot because he’s piloting a light mech, usually because of traumatic experiences at the hands of The Salt Miner in previous matches, this pilot has no skill or experience in piloting lights and it shows. Utterly unused to the speed and agility of his mech, he careens about wildly, smashing into your legs, faceplanting into walls, and frequently getting stuck on various obstacles. He’s also unused to the armor, or lack thereof, on his mech and will readily engage in stationary trades with heavies and assaults, calmly staring them down while waiting for the burn to finish on his devastating 20 point alpha. With predictable results.

Battle Cry: “This sucks, I’m going back to my LRM Supernova.”

9. The Fisher of Men

This innovative pilot never stops thinking of ways to troll his fellow mech warriors. Stock engine Urbies armed with only machine guns. LRM 5 Commandos. ATM 3 Arctic Cheetahs. Heavy Gauss Firestarters with half a ton of ammo. Is adept at surviving to the very ends of matches to better ensure everyone gets a look at his handiwork.

Battle Cry: “LOLOL, if you’re so smart how come you’re dead?”

#2 El Bandito

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 06:22 PM

You forgot to mention about the "Event spuds". They only play Lights when there is an event for that class, and put a single LRM20 or ERLLs, or run the mech stock, just for the event points. Performs horribad in general.

#3 FupDup

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 06:25 PM

View PostCnaiur, on 19 June 2018 - 05:30 PM, said:

Battle Cry: “How did we lose?”

Posted Image

#4 Brenden

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 06:27 PM

View PostCnaiur, on 19 June 2018 - 05:30 PM, said:

Excited by the Flea's release, and motivated by the recent event and the surfeit of lights thereof, I find myself compelled to once again put pen to paper and document the rich diversity of light mech pilots that fill our matches with fun and excitement. For science.

1. The Remora

Like his namesake, this pilot permanently attaches his mech to a larger, stronger mech and hangs on for dear life. While occasionally useful in certain mechs and maps (Iron Dome Kitfox on Polar), most of the time the Remora just gets in the way and doesn’t do the useful things good light pilots do, like find and shoot enemies. This pilot is frequently found hanging out around ramps and chokepoints, right behind (in a very real and literal sense) his host assault mech.

Battle Cry: “Don’t worry assaults, I’ve got your back!”

2. The Objectivist

This pilot is here to, well, play the objective. And ONLY the objective. If the gamemode is Conquest, he’s capping. Incursion? Running batteries. Assault? BASE RUSH! What he won’t do is damage. Will often morph into the Remora in Skirmish games.

Battle Cry: “Need more mechs to cap Epsilon!”

3. The Sports Bra

As his name indicates, this pilot is here to offer unstinting support to his team. ECM? Check. NARC? Check. Tag? Check. Multiple UAVs? Check. AMS? Check. Maxed Sensor skill tree? Check! Weapons and the ability/willingness to use them? Ummmmm…..

Is often confused with The Objectivist, but unlike The Objectivist he’s not terrified to make visual contact with the enemy.

Battle Cry: “I fit two NARCs so I can use one while the other is on cooldown!”

4. Great Odin’s Raven

Like Huginn or Muninn of lore, this pilot maintains a lofty perch over the battlespace from a great, GREAT distance, ever watchful for the opportunity to deploy his ER Large Lasers or single Light Gauss Rifle at ranges approaching 1500m. Can be easily identified by his 8000 DPI mouse with maxed sensitivity settings. That and the fact he’s usually in a Raven.

Battle Cry: “How did we lose?”

5. Disco Stu

This pilot is stuck in the past, stubbornly hanging onto mechs and builds that have long since been made obsolete. The rest of the world has moved on, but he’s not letting go of those small pulse lasers. They’re still cool!

Battle Cry: “Check out my sweet SRM Jenner!”

6. The Duelist

This hotblooded pilot is looking to fling his speedy mech into honorable 1v1 combat as quickly as possible and isn’t concerned about the details. Details such as the type of mech he fights, the loadout of that mech, or whether his fight is actually 1v1. This guy is the reason your matches always seem to be 0-1 in the first 30 seconds.

Battle Cry: “Found the reds in Hotel 6.” *Pilot has disconnected*

7. The Salt Miner

This pilot has the terrifying ability to materialize behind you when you’re busy doing something else. On those rare occasions you get to shoot at him you’d better make it count, because he’ll be under cover in an eyeblink. He’s responsible for uncounted tears and more RAEG posts than pretty much any other phenomenon in MWO.

Battle Cry: *tinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktink* CRITICAL DAMAGE DETECTED AMMO EXPLOSION DETECTED


8. The LINO, or Light-In-Name-Only

While technically a light pilot because he’s piloting a light mech, usually because of traumatic experiences at the hands of The Salt Miner in previous matches, this pilot has no skill or experience in piloting lights and it shows. Utterly unused to the speed and agility of his mech, he careens about wildly, smashing into your legs, faceplanting into walls, and frequently getting stuck on various obstacles. He’s also unused to the armor, or lack thereof, on his mech and will readily engage in stationary trades with heavies and assaults, calmly staring them down while waiting for the burn to finish on his devastating 20 point alpha. With predictable results.

Battle Cry: “This sucks, I’m going back to my LRM Supernova.”

9. The Fisher of Men

This innovative pilot never stops thinking of ways to troll his fellow mech warriors. Stock engine Urbies armed with only machine guns. LRM 5 Commandos. ATM 3 Arctic Cheetahs. Heavy Gauss Firestarters with half a ton of ammo. Is adept at surviving to the very ends of matches to better ensure everyone gets a look at his handiwork.

Battle Cry: “LOLOL, if you’re so smart how come you’re dead?”

This Fisher of man is this incarnate.
Posted Image
That's a standard Gauss Rifle by the way.

#5 IllCaesar

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 07:29 PM

We all hope to be 7 or even just a 5 but really most of us are 3's and 6's.

#6 Alex Morgaine

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 08:11 PM

View PostBrenden, on 19 June 2018 - 06:27 PM, said:

This Fisher of man is this incarnate.
Posted Image
That's a standard Gauss Rifle by the way.


Gutsy, i can barely suffer light gauss and a 120myself but i can't bring myself to stripping all the armor

#7 JediPanther

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 10:55 PM

Jump Jet Judo: Maxes out the mobility and jump jet tree over all other trees. Carries the least weight of weapons possible in order to maximize jump jet carry capacity. Bounding over any object in a single blast of blue like Superman after Taco Bell there isn't any thing that can stop this pilot from going high.If you could hear the speakers in his cockpit you'd be hearing van halen's jump on loop.

Battle cry: To Infinity and beyond!

#8 The6thMessenger

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 11:10 PM

View PostBrenden, on 19 June 2018 - 06:27 PM, said:

This Fisher of man is this incarnate.
Posted Image
That's a standard Gauss Rifle by the way.


I'm a simple man, i see ballistic build urbie -- i upvote.

Edited by The6thMessenger, 19 June 2018 - 11:10 PM.


#9 LordNothing

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 11:17 PM

the dire kitten

prefers slower lights like adders and urban mechs. usually with at least a 10 class autocannon or better at his disposal. usually avoids lasers for being too easy, might take a single small laser for when they run out of ammo, which will always happen. will face tank an assault and sometimes win. always looking to take down a faster light with superior firepower. legging them only seems to make them stronger. will somehow manage to get 2 or 3 kills dispite runing an std60. you might confuse for a remora but thats likely because the engine has been cut down so low that hes getting out run by annihilators. only downside is a pair of cahoonas so large that they sometimes trip over them with humiliating results.

battle cry: dakdakdaka 'get sum!' dakadak

Edited by LordNothing, 19 June 2018 - 11:21 PM.


#10 The6thMessenger

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 11:23 PM

View PostLordNothing, on 19 June 2018 - 11:17 PM, said:

the dire kitten

prefers slower lights like adders and urban mechs. usually with at least a 10 class autocannon or better at his disposal. usually avoids lasers for being too easy, might take a single small laser for when they run out of ammo, which will always happen. will face tank an assault and sometimes win. always looking to take down a faster light with superior firepower. legging them only seems to make them stronger. will somehow manage to get 2 or 3 kills dispite runing an std60. you might confuse for a remora but thats likely because the engine has been cut down so low that hes getting out run by annihilators. only downside is a pair of cahoonas so large that they sometimes trip over them with humiliating results.

battle cry: dakdakdaka 'get sum!' dakadak


Get an LFE100, works better with little trade.

#11 TechChris

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 11:33 PM

LOL!!!

I can't imagine who Number 4 is SPECIFICALLY referring too?

I mean......whoever could it be??? Posted Image

#12 LordNothing

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 01:26 AM

View PostThe6thMessenger, on 19 June 2018 - 11:23 PM, said:


Get an LFE100, works better with little trade.


yea but i consider it a badge of honor to get kills while running the std60.

#13 Hestan

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 01:35 AM

View PostTechChris, on 19 June 2018 - 11:33 PM, said:

LOL!!!

I can't imagine who Number 4 is SPECIFICALLY referring too?

I mean......whoever could it be??? Posted Image


Yeah, that seems to be targeted at a certain player.

As far as this list, what about the players that actually play well.

#14 The Lighthouse

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 01:41 AM

View PostCnaiur, on 19 June 2018 - 05:30 PM, said:


4. Great Odin’s Raven

Like Huginn or Muninn of lore, this pilot maintains a lofty perch over the battlespace from a great, GREAT distance, ever watchful for the opportunity to deploy his ER Large Lasers or single Light Gauss Rifle at ranges approaching 1500m. Can be easily identified by his 8000 DPI mouse with maxed sensitivity settings. That and the fact he’s usually in a Raven.

Battle Cry: “How did we lose?”




Unlike lore where there are two ravens, in MWO, there is only one, one Raven. One Raven to rule them all.


...


For his defense, he DOES play mechs other than Raven. It is just rare occurrence.





View PostHestan, on 20 June 2018 - 01:35 AM, said:


Yeah, that seems to be targeted at a certain player.

As far as this list, what about the players that actually play well.


Salt Miners.

Edited by The Lighthouse, 20 June 2018 - 01:44 AM.


#15 RickySpanish

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 04:11 AM

I pulled a 1 and a 9 last night to get my Raven sorted for the event. MRM20 and medium lasers. Good times!

#16 Lethe Wyvern

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 04:12 AM

Good!But you can polish it to brillant.

#17 SilentFenris

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 03:28 PM

There was plenty of salt to go around yesterday - I saw more than a few Clanners sporting streaks hoping to catch a Flea. Since there seemed to be very few in-match most of those mechs were easy prey. My Gargoyle slept well-fed :)

The most salt came from an enemy pilot, "You got lucky firestarter" was one message he broadcast after match...I checked the scoreboard, that Firestarter was piloted by Sean Lang and had over 500 damage that match.... Luck? LOL

#18 Grus

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 03:30 PM

Didn't someone already do this kind of thread not to long ago?

#19 LordNothing

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 03:46 PM

View PostGrus, on 20 June 2018 - 03:30 PM, said:

Didn't someone already do this kind of thread not to long ago?


i do believe it was assault pilots that time. still need to see one for meds and heavies.

#20 Snowbluff

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 04:10 PM

Salt Miner here. My PIR-1 has a 3.67 KDR lol
When I'm not doing that as a light, I'm in my Peanut Butter poking you.





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