NOTE: I did not compile this list. Most of it was originally compiled by other faithful BattleTech fans of the DropShip Command forum, back in 2000. I just thought it might be fun to redeploy it here for some good laughs and rehashing. Actually I am surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet!
You Know You've Played To Much BattleTech When...
1. You have played every BattleTech solo mission available.
2. You have pictures of the BattleTech development teams on your desk. (Now including the MWO staff.)
3. You know the weapons configuration of ALL the 3050 TRO Mechs.
4. You wake up in the morning to the smell of Mech coolant. (Or spend way to much time in the garage.)
5. You have a power up checklist and a neurohelmet for your car.
6. You call your subordinates MechWarriors and insist they call you Commander.
7. Your cat is named FASA.
8. You call your garage the 'Mech bay.
9. You own more than 5 TROs Source Books or Field Manuals.
10. You were standing at the door the day MW4 came out.
(And are now teathered to your PC receiving 5 minute updates on any and all posts regarding the words "alpha" or "beta" from the MWO website.)
11. You give BattleTech T-Shirts to your family at Christmas. (Now including birthdays, Easter and any other memorable occasion.)
12. You have life-size Cardboard cut-outs of the development teams in your room. (MWO staff should be concerned.)
13. You LIKE the Urbanmech.
14. You have the insignia of your unit (new or otherwise) painted on your car.
15. On interstate on-ramps you say, Jump in three...Two...ONE!
16. You have a life-size plush Elemental. (I want one!)
17. Your fish have call signs.
18. Every time your cars in the shop you wander around muttering "Disposessed!"
19. You actually try and figure out how BattleTech technologies work. (I can't believe the US Navy is looking to deploy railguns this late!)
20. You dream in magscan.
21. You wear a cooling vest to work.
22. You have a BattleMech tattoo.
23. You understand the basic principle behind a KF drive.
24. You always travel in groups of four or five.
25. You call your boss Khan.
26. Quiaff and Quineg are in your vocabulary.
27. You think Morgan Kell is your cousin.
28. You legally changed your last name one of the following: Ward, Kerensky, Pryde, Osis, etc.
29. You legally changed your first name to your Elias, Ulric, Aidan, Alexander, etc.
30. You know the names of all the Clans, (including the fallen ones).
31. You have an idea to make a small Gauss Rifle out of a car battery.
(I made one with a group for a Grade 5 project that launched a tennis ball with a metal slug inside.)
32. You have actually made a Gauss Rifle! (Like me!)
33. Your dog has a Ferro-Fibrous tag.
34. You get confused when people talk about going to an ATM.
35. You understand 34.
36. Customizations on your car involve a PPC and an LRM-20.
37. When you go to a bar you insist on ordering a Rasalhague style PPC.
38. You understand 37.
39. When your car runs out of gas it says, "Reactor critical. Shutting down."
40. You call your family your sibko.
41. You have Omi Kurita’s measurements.
42. When playing MechWarrior 4 you constantly scream "Remember Turtle Bay!"
43. Two words.....Praise Stackpolla.
44. If you understand 43.
45. You can see ANY tactical value in the Urbie.
46. You write Battle Tech poetry.
47. You commonly use the word "Freebirth!" while driving.
48. You have BattleMech salt and pepper shakers.
49. Your significant other has to call you Star Captain to get your attention.
50. You scream "I’m ejecting!" and leap out the door when you get off work.
51. You sleep with a TRO under your pillow.
52. You sit up until 2:00 AM writing a list of Battle Tech obsessions and its the highlight of your day.
53. You know the address of more than twenty MechWarrior, MechCommander, or BattleTech sites.
54. Your car requests voice and password ID before starting. (Including a catch phrase and series of steering wheel movements.)
55. You have BattleTech Curtains and Bed sheets.
56. You strap an Autocannon on your dog and use him as a scout mut.
57. You practically worship green birds.
58. All Hail Stackpolla.
59. "Hail!" is part of your vocabulary. And I don’t mean the little Ice balls from the sky!
60. You have a MechWarrior on Board bumper sticker.
61. You swear your genetically engineered to be perfect and will kill the freebirth who put you in this padded room.
62. You are reading this and understanding more than half of it.
63. You can take apart a BattleMech miniature and put it back together again blindfolded in under 30 seconds.
64. You sit there and write even MORE BattleTech obsessions.
65. You sit outside with a flashlight every night waiting for dropships to land to take you home and wonder why people look at you funny. Don’t they do it too?
66. Your idea of a bed time story to your children is a chapter from the Blood of Kerensky trilogy.
67. If someone mentions a "Vulcan" you think of BattleMechs rather than Starships or pointy earred aliens.
68. You can recite passages from your Clan’s Remembrance by heart. (Hell yeah!)
69. Your list of things to do today: Play MechWarrior, play MechCommander, play BattleTech, read a BattleTech story, write a BattleTech story, or make a MCG map.
70. The Clan/House you started as a joke (Clan Screaming Ewok) ended up getting WAY out of hand.
71. The last thing you do before going to sleep is reading a BattleTech novel.
72. The last thing you do before going to sleep is read from a BattleTech TRO.
73. You have an elaborate plan to make "Stackpolla Day" an International Holiday.
74. When you say to your 5 year old son/daughter, "I think..." And they promptly blurt out "Don't think MechWarrior, FIND OUT!"
75. You actually count how many of these apply to you.
76. You count how many do not apply to you and it only accounts for less than ten percent of the list.
77. If you have not posted on the Discussion Board of *insert Mechwarrior related forum here* in six hours, people think you are dead.
78. You've spent hours going over heat / damage / range charts agonizing over the "perfect balance". (Hours, Days, it's all the same.)
79. You refuse to call her "Katrina".
80. You understand 79.
81. You complain about your car never being in the shop because it disqualifies you from number 18.
82. When people ask where you are from, your automatic response is Strana Mechty, New Avalon, Luthien, etc..
83. You'd even suffer Leonardo DiCaprio being in it if someone would just make a darn BattleTech movie.
84. Three words: The Legging Issue.
85. You consider yourself a BattleTech Purist.
86. You have a pre-alpha shot of MechCommander 2 as the background on your computer.
87. You have an opinion on Chicken-Walkers.
88. You know what a chicken walker is.
89. You refer to the Postal Service as ComStar.
90. You have ever ended a discussion with "Bargained well and done!"
91. If told the name of a 'Mech, you can give its stats for any canon variant.
92. You have Heavy Metal Pro, TDB, and BMD mech designers.
93. You have a copy of the Remembrance next to your bed.
94. You refer to the NASA Space Shuttles as "Aerodyne DropShips".
95. When ever you see an airplane fly over, you throw yourself under cover and scream "Air strike!"
96. You are planning a pilgrimage to Redmond, Washington.
96b. You are planning a pilgrimage to Vancouver.
97. You are planning a pilgrimage to the Great Stackpolla’s residence.
98. You sometimes call your signifigant other Omi or Victor.
99. You're still working on concocting the perfect fusionaire.
100. You know what a fusionare is.
101. So a blonde walks into a Mechbay... ummm...nevermind.
102. You can make every Mech out of Lego's. (Check out http://www.brickcommander.com/) And have actually done this for quite a few.
103. You designed a useful Urbie.
104. Deleted.
105. Deleted.
106. You just cannot understand why a quad LAM is technically illegal.
107. You have an opinion on Level 3 tech.
108. You know what Level 3 tech is.
109. You just HAD to have a Large Fusion XXL engine didnt you?
110. You curse Fate that you were not born around 3035 or so instead.
111. You have ever challenged someone to a Trial of Possession for information.
112. You have a hard time looking at skyscrapers without wondering just how many PPC hits it would take to bring it down.
113. If for some strange reason you have been anticipating the return of this list.
114. You have been known to sit in class, work, etc. and talk about BattleTech stats.
115. You have, are, or will be writing a BattleTech story.
116. You have, or have had your own BattleTech website.
117. You go running around town screaming for joy every time a new piece of information is released about a possible Mechwarrior 5
(Wow how times have finally changed! Praise be to Blake!)
117b. You know who and why Blake should be praised.
118. You have your Clan/House of choices insignia painted above your bed.
119. You have petitioned Microsoft, Wizkids, etc. to FIGHT for the Lost Mechs.
120. You can recite the intro to MW3, MW4, or MCG from memory.
121. You have Top Secret myomer research going on in your basement.
122. You have read the novels more than twice. (More then three times for most of them for me!)
123. You have ever wished the GRE, ACT, SAT or final exams/tests were based on BattleTech lore.
124. You have BattleMech models decorating your room.
125. The thought of a Mechwarrior game makes you feel all warm and tingly inside.
126. You refer to MW2 and NetMech as The good old days.
127. You are not yet thinking "What is wrong with these people? They actually sat there and wrote this?"
128. You have been involved in a discussion about the science of BattleTech.
129. You have considered having your face painted to look like you have Neural-Interface implants.
130. You have actually done 129.
131. You have a list of actors and actresses you want to see in a BattleTech movie.
132. While watching The Patriot, you could not help but wonder what a BattleMech would have been like in the battle.
133. You have actually enjoyed reading this list.
134. You are reading this list while drinking a fusionnaire.
135. You listen to Mechwarrior 2 music for relaxation, before exams, etc. (This has become a ritual of sorts.)
136. You can quote the stats for 3 different models of the Atlas from memory.
137. You reminisce about the war of '39.
138. You get angry when someone uses an inner sphere codename for a Clan Omni.
139. You've challenged someone to a trial of grievance for something they said.
140. You've challenged someone to a trial of grievance for using an Inner Sphere codename for a Clan Omni.
141. You have elminated contractions from your everyday speech.
142. You have called for a trial of absorbtion against your dinner.
143. You've participated in a discussion on the relative merits of the battlemech as a practical war machine.
144. You've participated in a discussion as to whether level 1 or 2 is better (level 3 is right out).
145. You are dissapointed when your friends stop after "only 3 hours" of battletech.
146. You know the names of more Inner Sphere royals than real politicians.
147. You've used the word "stravag" as a curse.
148. You've used the word "surat" as a curse.
149. You've used the word "drek" as a curse.
150. You've called someone "dezgra".
151. You use "quiaff" and "quineg" in normal conversation.
152. And your friends understand you when saying 147 - 151.
153. You're supposed to be rooting around the pull and buy parts yard looking for a starter for your '95 Nissan pickup and suddenly realize you just spent the last 30 minutes wandering around in a daze looking for spare leg actuators and recyclable myomer.....
154. You have an immediate bias against anyone with the name Katrina...
155. You walk around wearing nothing but a camelbak and tighty whities, muttering about "coolant vests."
156. You've seriously considered hooking up ten microwaves to your tv antenna to get a PPC turret for your house.
157. You actually see the Lincoln Memorial as a statue honouing the great Kerensky.
158. You've participated in one of the infamous "Auto-cannon" forum posts/flame wars at dropshipcommand.com
159. You've ever composed a song dedicated to BattleTech.
5
Top 10 Signs It's Too Late for You
Started by Parhelion, Mar 08 2012 10:40 PM
63 replies to this topic
#62
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- 123 posts
Member
- LocationHouston, Tx.
Posted 10 March 2012 - 09:42 PM
Yep... lots of those things apply to me, including the Writing a Battletech novel... I haven't yet, but I do have a Muse that's rEEEALY wanting to write one.
#63
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- 461 posts
Member
- LocationMesquite, Texas
Posted 12 March 2012 - 07:40 PM
I was gone with MechWarrior Online!
#64
Posted 12 March 2012 - 11:49 PM
#when you bored, you draw mechs
#you bookmarking mechs papercraft, and making bookmark folder in your browser called 'mech papercraft'
#when you stumbled upon a name like 'catapult', you're thinking a heavy class mech.
#in a bookstore, the first one you looking for are battletech novels.
#you make sure people notice you bought battletech novels
#when you're kid, you're trying to imitates mech movement. stiff 90 degrees arms with stiff leg movement with torso only turning. And yes, you're thinking accelerate/decelerate and shutting down your mech.
#in RTS like starcraft or anything that set in the distant future, the unit you're looking for are mechs.
#in a hot summer, you're like 'damn! I'm overheating!"
#you bookmarking mechs papercraft, and making bookmark folder in your browser called 'mech papercraft'
#when you stumbled upon a name like 'catapult', you're thinking a heavy class mech.
#in a bookstore, the first one you looking for are battletech novels.
#you make sure people notice you bought battletech novels
#when you're kid, you're trying to imitates mech movement. stiff 90 degrees arms with stiff leg movement with torso only turning. And yes, you're thinking accelerate/decelerate and shutting down your mech.
#in RTS like starcraft or anything that set in the distant future, the unit you're looking for are mechs.
#in a hot summer, you're like 'damn! I'm overheating!"
Edited by Dataman, 12 March 2012 - 11:50 PM.
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