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'Twas The Night Before Beta


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#1 Okie135

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:05 PM

'Twas the night before Beta
when all through the servers,
not a creature was stirring,
not even the Jenners.

The Launchers were hung
on the hilltop with care,
in hopes that some Gauss Cats,
would soon be not there.

When all of a sudden,
there arose such a clatter,
I exited Sarna,
to see what's the matter.

Away to my console,
I flew like a flash,
went active radar,
thermal and, "Splash!"

The fog from the crater,
and lake and rock,
made it hard to pick out,
a darn thing in that spot.

But over the ridge,
and around on both sides,
Atlai by the hundreds,
filled my weary eyes.

The Dev team 'twas true,
thought enough was enough,
they had heard the forms QQ,
and were ready to get tough.

The missiles went flying,
like nothing before,
LRM-20's and 15's,
brought our knee actuators to the floor.

The battle was short,
so ferocious it was,
we asked Paul "Why!?",
he answered, "Just because."

The servers were cleared,
the testers were dead.
No Open Beta players,
need worry their heads.


And giving the finger,
to the bad netcode,
Paul gave the carnage a nod,
up the pipeline exe's rose.

Russ spoke not a word,
but went straight to his work,
and away his team coded,
in spite of us jerks.

They sprang to the forums,
to tell of the assault,
of wonders untold,
of stack overflow and page fault.

The moral of the story,
shall ever be true,
be careful on what forums,
you decide to QQ.

But I heard Russ exclaim,
ere he logged out of sight,
"Open Beta to all,
and to all a good night!"

#2 zzzuk

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:21 PM

Direct hit from your Poetry Rifle cored me.

#3 Okie135

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:23 PM

Thanks.

I just realized that nobody's posted in Off Topic for a while. Wasn't sure were else to post this though.

#4 Atusek

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:30 PM

You, sir, are a genius.

#5 Artgathan

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 05:30 PM



You sir (or madame) deserve a round of applause. Well done!

#6 Stickjock

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 06:17 PM

LOL... was actually thinking about something like this earlier today... Kudos to ya and a +1

#7 Hidran

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 06:24 PM

that's legit

#8 ItsKrunchTime

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 07:30 PM

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. I'm honored to play the same game as you.

#9 MeepSire

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 07:43 PM

this poem is soo awesome...
any more?
:)

#10 Okie135

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 08:06 PM

Awesomes roasting by an open flamer.
Gauss Cat nipping at your nose
Beta posts being NDA'd
and folks with memes galore.

Everybody knows a PPC and some LRM's,
help to make the season bright.
Cicadas, with their armor all aglow,
will find it hard to win tonight.

They know that an Atlas is on its way,
he's loaded lots of toys and goodies just to slay.
And every Commando's Tag is going to spy,
to see if Spiders really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
to kids from one to ninety-two,
although its been said many times, many ways,
Merry Beta to you.

Edited by Clark, 28 October 2012 - 08:06 PM.


#11 Redlor Fidelious

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 08:11 PM

Off Topic is the perfect place for such an inspired piece of work!

May your Mech never overheat! (unless you are in my sights)

#12 GanjiBubbles

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 08:22 PM

Epic! might lay down some guitar and vox for this, have a theme song XD

#13 Scrawny Cowboy

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 08:23 PM

Good stuff, haha! :)

#14 Badgerpants

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:12 PM

Brilliant! Just brilliant! +1 to everything

#15 Okie135

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:16 PM

Ya'll are too kind.

#16 xxx WreckinBallRaj xxx

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:25 PM

For the last time, it's ATLASES, not Atlai.

#17 Monsoon

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:28 PM

Nicely done! :)

Everyone get a good sleep, we'll have a busy day tomorrow.

#18 Yagamy

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:58 PM

You deserve lots of claps...
You remembered my pen and paper days with this game... luckly, Kurita Samurai's dont have to follow the Dictum Honorarium anymore (at least in MWO)

Edited by Yagamy, 28 October 2012 - 09:59 PM.


#19 Freeride Forever

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 10:08 PM

View PostClark, on 28 October 2012 - 05:23 PM, said:

I just realized that nobody's posted in Off Topic for a while. Wasn't sure were else to post this though.


BETA Announcements?

#20 Siden Pryde

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 10:12 PM

Nicely done. While I am not a fan of "The Night Before Christmas" (hear way too many x-mas songs at work during the holiday season), your rendition was enjoyable.





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