1890 replies to this topic

[Ikarti Danaro]

Danger close, alpha actual. Copy that.

[Vandal]

Very important question:

Did you miss me?

[Ter Ushaka]

Is brandy useful at all in a marinade?

[bok]

Why do goons ruin everything?

TL;DR thread this question probably hasn't been asked yet though

Edited by bok, 21 December 2012 - 07:51 PM.

[Ter Ushaka]

bok, on 21 December 2012 - 07:34 PM, said:

Why do goons ruin everything?

If I may, let me retell the story of "The Goon the Pubbie:"

One day, a Goon looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the Goon stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a Pubbie sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the Pubbie for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Pubbie!" called the Goon across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Goon! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the Pubbie hesitantly.

"Because," the Goon replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the Pubbie. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the Goon, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the Pubbie.

"Ahh...," crooned the Goon, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the Pubbie agreed to take the Goon across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The Goon crawled onto the Pubbie's back, his tarsal claws digging into the Pubbie's soft hide, and the Pubbie slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the Pubbie stayed near the surface so the Goon would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the Pubbie suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the Goon remove his stinger from the Pubbie's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the Pubbie, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The Goon shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings Pubbie's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Goon...

[GreatBeer]

You forgot the part where the Goon was actually lying about not being able to swim and calmly pulls himself onto the far shore. Then laughs at the stupid frog.

[Ter Ushaka]

God damn man does no one care about OPSEC around here?

[GaussDragon]

Ter Ushaka, on 21 December 2012 - 07:53 PM, said:

If I may, let me retell the story of "The Goon the Pubbie:"

One day, a Goon looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the Goon stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a Pubbie sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the Pubbie for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Pubbie!" called the Goon across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Goon! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the Pubbie hesitantly.

"Because," the Goon replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the Pubbie. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the Goon, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the Pubbie.

"Ahh...," crooned the Goon, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the Pubbie agreed to take the Goon across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The Goon crawled onto the Pubbie's back, his tarsal claws digging into the Pubbie's soft hide, and the Pubbie slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the Pubbie stayed near the surface so the Goon would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the Pubbie suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the Goon remove his stinger from the Pubbie's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the Pubbie, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The Goon shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings Pubbie's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Goon...

I remember first hearing that one in Star Trek Voyager. An enjoyable little parable.

http://en.wikipedia....on_and_the_Frog

[Two Beans]

It's true. I just gotta ruin games. Someone puts a monopoly board in front of me, and I'm flipping that sum-bish over. I start fires at baseball games. I hose down the chalk from the sidewalk when kids are playing hop-scotch.

Together, we Goons shall cleanse this planet of all gaming activities.

[SendMyRegards]

bok, on 21 December 2012 - 07:34 PM, said:

Why do goons ruin everything?

TL;DR thread this question probably hasn't been asked yet though

So FYI, bok has told me that this post, her only one on these forums, has led to her posts needing moderation approval. Is there any reason why this particular post is more heinous than any of the others in this thread?

[Shan Revan]

GreatBeer, on 21 December 2012 - 08:01 PM, said:

You forgot the part where the Goon was actually lying about not being able to swim and calmly pulls himself onto the far shore. Then laughs at the stupid frog.

Swim? Why swim when we can fly?

SQUAAAAWK!

[Aesis]

Shan Revan, on 22 December 2012 - 12:25 AM, said:

Swim? Why swim when we can fly?

SQUAAAAWK!

Fool. Tetatae cannot fly. Oh wait, is that OPSEC too?

Edited by Aesis, 22 December 2012 - 05:16 AM.

[fil5000]

GreatBeer, on 21 December 2012 - 08:01 PM, said:

You forgot the part where the Goon was actually lying about not being able to swim and calmly pulls himself onto the far shore. Then laughs at the stupid frog.

And stole the frog's wallet.

[Agincourt]

SendMyRegards, on 22 December 2012 - 12:20 AM, said:

So FYI, bok has told me that this post, her only one on these forums, has led to her posts needing moderation approval. Is there any reason why this particular post is more heinous than any of the others in this thread?

Someone clearly missed the signature under that post.

[Anders]

Mr. Agincourt:

I would suggest that my personal bodyguard corps are the subject of the honest but mistaken belief that they are not legitimate accounts. We here at the Word of Lowtax can assure you that this "bok" fellow is a member of the Word of Lowtax and not a trolling account. It is truly a sad day for my fine feathered friends, and all I would ask is:

Let my people go.

We here at The Word of Lowtax thank you for your post. We here at the Word of Lowtax realize that you have limited entertainment electrons and appreciate that you're spending your electrons on us. Please continue to choose the Word of Lowtax in your future electron spending! We are grateful for your out of the box, blue-sky thinking, and appreciate you touching base with us here at the Word of Lowtax. We hope to synergize our efforts to achieve quantifiable paradigm redefinitions in a future collaboration soon.

Robotically Yours,
Anders

Public Relations Officer
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[Two Beans]

Aesis, on 22 December 2012 - 05:16 AM, said:

Fool. Tetatae cannot fly. Oh wait, is that OPSEC too?

I believe they can fly...

I believe they can touch the sky...

[Thorn Hallis]

In case MWO gets regional servers, will you stay together on one server or will you "split up"?

[Vandal]

Regional servers would really defeat the purpose of everybody fighting over one Inner Sphere.

On the other hand if they do something really dumb like that, I'm totally jumping ship for the European Inner Sphere.

[fil5000]

miSs, on 22 December 2012 - 12:22 PM, said:

Welcome aboard, bok!



Can we go back on topic: asking questions? (Yes, this is a question!)

We sure can!

Vandal, on 22 December 2012 - 02:25 PM, said:

Regional servers would really defeat the purpose of everybody fighting over one Inner Sphere.

On the other hand if they do something really dumb like that, I'm totally jumping ship for the European Inner Sphere.

Pip pip old boy, be sure to stand at the front so us old worlders feel the benefit.

[Ken Fury]

Cartman726, on 22 December 2012 - 03:20 PM, said:

How does it feel being a goon?

Oh it's nice being part of a friendly community which has a very peculiar sense of humor . Only regret i have is that i only recently got to know the community.