173 commentsPatch Number: 1.4.59.20XX
Patch Size: 36 GB
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Greetings MechWarriors,
With a shell of tin and a heart of gold, the UrbanMech UM-PP 'Policeman Pooch' Hero 'Mech has arrived! Originally built as a heavy enforcement and patrol 'Mech for the border planet Hsien, Policeman Pooch is here to patrol the mean streets of the Inner Sphere, corralling criminals, vanquishing villains, and <insert third alliteration here>.
Pilots can now Initiate Enhanced Imaging with the brand new Enhanced Imaging Module being introduced in this patch.
This patch also sees the release of The Void, a new map for Quick Faction Play Game Modes. Thematically based on the absence of all that is and ever will be, The Void takes a stripped-down approach to level design, featuring no sight-lines, geometry, terrain, or textures. It is 34 GB in size for some reason, so make sure to remove any non-essential software or games from your install drive before attempting to install the patch.
Rounding out this patch we have a number of 'Mech fixes and changes, a mandatory dance-off mechanic for all 'Mechs within radius of an active Warhorn, a new backward thrust mechanic for Flamers, the introduction of Naval AC/40s, and much much much much much much much much much much much more!
Skim through for all the details, and we'll see you on the battlefield!
- The MechWarrior Team
New Map (Quick Faction Play)
The Void
Veterans of not existing will have the advantage here as The Void dwells beyond all known limits of space and time, in a realm of undeath from whence no explorer has returned. The Void combines complete nothingness with yet more nothingness, to achieve levels of such infinite nothingness that it almost, nearly becomes something, but not quite.
Dynamic Time of Day
There is no dynamic time of day sequence for this map because it's an endless void.
Breakable Objects
There are no breakable objects on this map because it's an endless void.
Single-spawn DropShip Drop Zones (0 Drop Zones per team)
Players will not drop onto The Void in DropShips because it is an endless void.
New Champion and Hero 'Mechs
UrbanMech UM-PP 'Policeman Pooch'
• C-Bill Price: Too good for C-Bills.
• MC Price: If you have to ask…
• Sellback Price: Not enough.
• Tonnage: 30,000,000 grams
• Engine: 60 Extra Standard
• Top Speed: 9 meters/sec
• Max Engine Rating: 180ish
-
• Spin
a while; spin forever!
• You call those stubs arms?
• Internal Structure: Ecto-Steel
• Weapons & Equipment:
• Left Arm: Blue Laser, Triple Heat Sink
• Left Torso: Jump Jet, Triple Heat Sink x3
• Middle Torso: Engine, Red Laser x2
• Right Torso: Jump Jet, Super AC/5 Ammo, Triple Heat Sink x3>
• Right Arm: Super AC/5, Triple Heat Sink
• Left Arm: 3 Pew-Pew
• Lower Arm Actuator: Does it look like it has an elbow? No.
• Hand Actuator: Now you’re just joking.
• Middle Torso: 2 Pew-Pew
• Right Torso: 1 Automatic Missile Shooter
• Right Arm: 1 Boom
• Lower Arm Actuator: Didn’t we just go over this?
• Hand Actuator: You know what? Fine, have a hand actuator if you want it so much.
• Jump Jets: 2 (4 Max)
• ECM Capable?: Probably not.
• MASC Capable?: Very unlikely.
• Module Slots:
• Mech: 1 per extra $10 paid at time of purchase
• Consumable: 1 per goat sacrificed at time of purchase
• Weapon: 1 per year of indentured servitude to Paul
• Quirks:
• -11 Additional Structure (MT)
• -7 Additional Structure (LT)
• -7 Additional Structure (RT)
• +25 dB Red Laser Volume
• +25 dB Blue Laser Volume
• +5% Beep Boop
• + 3 m Height
• 45% I AM THE LAW! bonus
New Modules
Enhanced Imaging
Initiate Enhanced Imaging!
With this Module equipped you'll finally be able to Initiate Enhanced Imaging! Wait, what's Enhanced Imaging? We're glad you asked, Cadet.
As we all know, information is ammunition, and when you Initiate Enhanced Imaging you'll gain access to such vital Clan technologies as:
• Data Feed Scanner
• Imaging (Enhanced)
• Damage Assessment Readouts
• Cutting-edge vector-based graphical enhancements
• An inflated sense of superiority over lesser combatants
The Enhanced Imaging Module is also the first Module in MechWarrior Online to stack its efficiency when used in conjunction with a real-life component! In order to maximize the effectiveness of their Enhanced Imaging Module, truly dedicated pilots can order and apply Limited Edition luminous rub-on tattoos directly to the face area.
DISCLAIMER: Application of Limited Edition luminous rub-on tattoos directly to the face area can result in such side effects as:
• Neural degeneration
• Paranoia
• Abusive personality traits
• Amnesia
• Catatonic insanity
• Hallucinations
• Repetitive catchphrase syndrome
• Transit disorientation syndrome
• Turbodeath
• Mild electric shocks
• Extreme electric shocks
• Pleasurable electric shocks
• Death from electric shocks
• Sympathy for others
• A burning sensation where applied
• A burning hatred of the 1st Somerset Strikers
• Skin failure
• Explosive kidney
• Phantom tail
• Boneitis
• Gross negligence
• Sick rhymes
• Material impermanence
• A nagging suspicion that everyone knows about that thing you did
• Disarticulation of all limbs
• Night blindness
• Day blindness
• Blindness
• Space madness
• Repetitive catchphrase syndrome
• Random mutations
• Manual breathing
• Appreciation for a Summer rose
• Night terrors
• Prehensile lungs
• Ghostification
• The spontaneous and unshakable awareness of ones relative insignificance in a vast and impartial universe
• Stretchy elbow
• Quantum necrosis
• Sentient jugular
• Fire off the shoulder (of Orion)
• Full body inversion
• The ability to vomit on command
• Kung-fu grip
Move Left
When equipped, the new Move Left Module gives players the ability to:
• Move left
Without this Module equipped your 'Mech will only be capable of moving either in a straight line or to the right. This Module will surely be an absolute must-have advantage in any battle!
Gameplay
• Players now have access to a Fourth Person View Mode, in which they can see all possible outcomes of a match.
• Fourth Person View Mode is only available on monitors that support transdimensional holography matrices.
'Mech Fixes and Changes
• The Move Left Module is now required in order to move left.
• All 'Mechs within 1000m of an active Warhorn will now be placed into a new dance-off mechanic. Whichever 'Mech is able to generate the highest volume of whooping and hollering from the audience will emerge the victor, and will be awarded with an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas where they will compete in the first inaugural Inner Sphere Idol competition.
• Plot Armor is now available for purchase by whichever Unit has the most amount of fan fiction posted in the forums.
• The phrase "IIC" in all applicable 'Mech names has been changed to "The Second - See".
• Awesome (all variants): Now 12% more awesome (approximate value) .
• Blackjack (all variants): All weapons now deal exactly 21 damage.
• Black Knight (all variants): The Black Knight will continue to survive after losing all four limb components.
• Cicada (all variants): Every 13 or 17 years a Cicada can unlock access to a Sonic Attack Consumable Item.
• Dragon (all variants): Can now grant wishes if all Memory Cores are united.
• Executioner (all variants): Now known as the Koala.
• Executioner (all variants): Now powered by copious amounts of eucalyptus leaves.
• Gargoyle (all variants): Turns into stone during the daytime.
• Griffin (all variants): Piloting a Griffin now requires a successful Skill Check (Handle Animal).
• Hellbringer (all variants): Now brings forth the apocalypse.
• Highlander (all variants): Can now only be defeated through decapitation.
• JagerMech (all variants): Can now perform a special Jager Bomb stun attack (on itself).
• Jenner (all variants): Five Jenner 'Mechs of any variant can now form into a unique Atlas variant.
• Locust (all variants): Will now receive a boost to XP earnings when the new Statue of a Bizarre Creature Cockpit Item is equipped.
• Raven (all variants): A bust of Pallas Athena now occupies and is locked to the Standing Cockpit Item slot.
• Stalker (all variants): Now receives a bonus to Info Gathering when hiding in the bushes.
• Wolverine (all variants): Adamantium internal structure can now be equipped.
• Wolverine (all variants): Performance and abilities are now variable depending on who is piloting the 'Mech.
• Wolverine (all variants): Can now equip a Healing Factor Module that auto-repairs armor at a rate of 1 per second.
New Cockpit Items
• Twerking Urbie (Standing Item)
• Statue of a Bizarre Creature (Standing Item)
Weapon Fixes and Changes
• Jump Jets now require you to equip Jump Jet Fuel. It can be equipped and purchased in MechLab for 500 MC per 60 Fuel. 1 Fuel is equivalent to 1 second active use of Jump Jets.
• Lasers now require ammunition. It can be equipped and purchased in the Mechlab for 600 MC per 60 Pews and 700 MC per 60 Pew Pew Pews.
• PPC particles now have gravity.
• LB-10X ACs will now fire paintball rounds.
• Firing a Gauss Rifle now requires you to hold the mouse button down and release, while also holding L+CTRL, Num Lock, and F7, while also touching a molar with your tongue.
• All Weapons now have a 10 second Cooldown period to better adhere to the tabletop rules, with an addition to the Gauss Rifle receiving a 45 second Cooldown.
• Flamers now generate backwards thrust when fired.
• The new Overwhelming Force Consumable now allows you to call in Naval AC/40s.
• 'Mech that are destroyed via overheating now explode violently, heavily damaging everything within a 300m radius.
Map Fixes and Changes
• Targeted advertising banners and billboards are now present on all maps.
• Frozen City: The tunnel now has a fast food drive through with really excellent soft serve ice cream, you should try it.
• Frozen City Night: Now open 'til midnight.
• Vitric Forge: All 'Mechs will now melt upon arrival.
• Forest Colony: Now inhabited by a tribe of small creatures (legally distinct from any existing creation from a popular franchise).
• Mining Collective: Resistance is now futile.
• Caustic Valley: The rocks will now yell sarcastic insults at you.
• River City: Now a vassal state of the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, realm of Poseidon, King of the Seven Seas.
• Polar Highlands: Now known as Canada.
• Grim Plexus: Now known as Grim Flexus.
• Grim Flexus: All crystal formations have been replaced with flexing muscles.
• Terra Therma: In order to win in any game mode players must now band together to vanquish the Pteratherma, a prehistoric lava-spewing terror of the skies.
Control Changes
• Due to extensive feedback from players, inverted mouse controls are now enabled by default.
• Default Screenshot keybind is now Alt + F4
Bug Fixes
• Bitching Betty dialogue has been replaced with various cat meows.
