#21
Posted 24 August 2013 - 06:35 PM
I've just arrived in Phoenix, so my time will be rocky over the next couple days. Got some notes written on the flights, so when I get a chance around hanging with family I'll type 'em up and knock out Jack's bio and first post. Main thing is gonna be working on exactly what injuries Jack sustained.
Query: Thom, you mentioned Jack's 'lance,' I only recall him owning the Urbie and Jager at the moment? Or have I forgotten about something...Or did I gain some presents
As for getting away with murder, oh yeah. Jack excels at that. I've talked some stuff around Thom already - just need the chance to do it. I wonder if I can get those Urbie upgrades soon...
#22
Posted 24 August 2013 - 08:36 PM
#23
Posted 25 August 2013 - 01:46 AM
Gammadin, on 24 August 2013 - 11:50 AM, said:
Callsign: Roman
Date of Birth: 1st January, 3009.
Current Mech: Broken Hermes II (The Frumentarii)
House Affiliation: O'reilly
Physical Description: 5'9, 174 Lbs. Hazel eyes, Chestnut hair.
Notable equipment: Arron Harold Baxa doesn't own much aside from his mech, however sense gaining the “Roman” nickname from Bad Fight Magazine he has paid to have a plume of crimsion dyed horse hair attached to his neuro helmet.
Past History: The son of a patrictian (noble) house of the Marion Hegemony, Arron wanted for nothing as a child. As a member of the elite social class of the bandit kingdom Arron's education was provided for by the best tutors his father could buy, blackmail, or enslave. Though groomed to assume his father's seat in the Marion Senate, Arron's fascination with Battlemechs led him to follow in his fathers footsteps, joining one of the many “Legions” that raided nearby worlds for plunder and slaves.
Piloting a salvaged Hermes II gifted to him by his father Arron performed well as a raider, using the speed of his Hermes II to lead a heavy lance of Cannopian Highlanders into an ambush during a slave raid on Vixen, and acting as part of a rear guard during a “smash and grab” against House Mairk at Lahti.
Unfortunately for the young marauder soon found him self in exile after his father was accused of conspiring against the throne. His home and title seized Baxa made his way to the gladiator world in hopes of amassing enough wealth to reclaim his birthright.
Solaris VII was unkind to the outcast patrician, who quickly learned of the negative bias and hate the periphery received from the gladiator stables. Unable to afford even rudimentary housing for both himself and his mech Arron began to live out of his rented mech bay. Falling into a rut the young man learned that the only way to “get a break” was to make the break yourself. Returning to the byzantine politics he was taught as a youth Baxa murdered another warrior and took his place in televised match in the dreaded Scrap Yard arena of the Solaris Reach.
During the time skip:
After his initial victory in the Scrap Yard, Baxa's star began to rise as “underground” press began to cover the newly christened “Ruthless Roman”. In his second, and only other match to date, Baxa killed his opponent when his auto cannon rounds tore through the opposing Phoenix Hawk's cockpit.. Though the Solaris Gaming Commission found in Baxa favor during the investigation into the death. The damage dealt to his Hermes II may cause the young warrior to lose all that he has gained.
Deep: Proud of his status as a Patrician, despite his “temporary” exile, Arron Baxa has had a diffucult time adjusting to the Solaris VII and his new social rank. Though the original loathing he received due to his back ground has been replaced with a grudging respect for his recent accomplishments his ties to the Marion Hegemony and the critical condition of his Battlemech have prevented Baxa from receiving an invitation to any of the major or minor stables. On a world were only one can reign as champion, Arron has quickly found that a predator with out a pack will starve.
You know I'm not going to say no to that. I'm a Baxa fanboi!
RogueSpear, on 24 August 2013 - 06:35 PM, said:
I've just arrived in Phoenix, so my time will be rocky over the next couple days. Got some notes written on the flights, so when I get a chance around hanging with family I'll type 'em up and knock out Jack's bio and first post. Main thing is gonna be working on exactly what injuries Jack sustained.
Query: Thom, you mentioned Jack's 'lance,' I only recall him owning the Urbie and Jager at the moment? Or have I forgotten about something...Or did I gain some presents
As for getting away with murder, oh yeah. Jack excels at that. I've talked some stuff around Thom already - just need the chance to do it. I wonder if I can get those Urbie upgrades soon...
You forgot that Champion and you had a Hornet, but sold it, remember?
As to the 80ton Urbie with the wrecking ball, ah... Hell no!
In my one post I mentioned Von Bremen heading your way to welcome you back, but he's also got messages for you. An old prospector looking type by the name of Simon Hennith has recently been stopping by the stable looking for you. He says it's important that he speaks to you at once. But since it's the Stables policy not to disclose your location to random undesirables, they told him to p!ssoff. But despite that, every day the man stops by like clockwork at 9am.
You got your present.
As for injuries, I'd say some broken bones for sure with some internal bleeding. But during your stay they ran tests on you and found some problems with ________. So you ended up staying there for a longer period as they ran even more test and poked and prodded you. Something like that just happened to the RL Moma Rose.
Welcome back to the States! Hope you don't get shot. Kindergarteners taking pistols to school? *facepalm*
#24
Posted 25 August 2013 - 06:20 AM
I'll need to get Dan and Rick (Mac willing) working on the Zeusion...
That wrecking ball Urbie was 30t, thank you very much
Broken bones? Hmmm. I'll chat that over with Doctor Dude. Don't want to slap Jack with an injury that stops him fighting/ignore something that should. He definitely had a concussion, whiplash, 90% bruises, that kind of thing. I was thinking the crash couch mebbe kept him enough in place that he didn't break anything, but he ended up with internal injuries from the kinetics of the situation - and seatbelt!
Thanks for the welcome! What's this about armed kindergarteners?
#25
Posted 25 August 2013 - 11:03 AM
Yes the Champ is shot up to a ridiculous state, but it's still taking up space.
With 3030's medicine I'm sure that any seriously broken bones would be mended within the time that has past.
#26
Posted 25 August 2013 - 11:43 AM
Does your lack of further followup reflect approval to proceed with writing a post?
#27
Posted 26 August 2013 - 10:45 AM
Patrick, I always like your characters, and I believe your writing style is sometimes a breath of fresh air. But after some consideration I'm worried that you will not be happy playing in here because of changes made to your character and in the long run of possible tension when it comes to the other players.
And I rather have you happily reading this instead of playing through the motions of having a good time while playing. I hate saying this, but in this case I fell like I gotta say 'no.' Super-sorry homie.
#28
Posted 26 August 2013 - 01:29 PM
#29
Posted 26 August 2013 - 09:02 PM
Name: Mad Jack Churchill. Born Hans James Brackon-Steiner of Caledonia.
Callsign: Vicious. Originally followed by 'B*stard' after the most common description of the vitriolic Mechwarrior, it was shortened when it caused confusion on the 'comms.
DOB/Age: 25th March 2983, 48 years
Current Mechs: UM-R60 Urbanmech “Taysider” and a modified JM6-S Jagermech “Steel Lady” which totes quad AC2s and ten tonnes of armour. Also owns a devastated xxx-xx Champion.
House Affiliation: Nominally House Steiner, but it varies from day to day. He seeks to 'redeem' himself when hungover and guiltridden, but seeks revenge for what he sees as the 'unfair' treatment he received from his family.
Military History: Trained at NAIS, he graduated at the bottom of his class, though not for lack of talent. The young noble happily frittered away his time on drink, whores and gambling, attending classes only when forced to. Upon graduation, he was pressed into service in the LCAF, transferring from unit to unit, eventually being dishonourably discharged.
Physical Description: Older man with receding black hair and a drooping walrus moustache. He has the appearance of a heavy drinker (Which he is), and is waddling to fat, but the soft coating belies the heavy muscles honed by thirty years of bar fights and assorted other petty violences. His clothing is low quality, ragged and spotted with grease and stains, in a variety of styles. They are clearly worn for comfort and cleaned at convenience.
Open Background: A bitter, angry mercenary down on his luck, 'Mad' Jack Churchill has been floating around the Inner Sphere and periphery for nearly 25 years. He's gained a reputation as a psychotic drunk, and hence earned the 'Mad' part of his moniker, Mad Jack (Little do they know, he chose the name Jack Churchill to gain the nickname). Originally piloting a JM6-S Jagermech, after nearly losing the 'mech in a brutal firefight against the LCAF Hans James Brackon-Steiner once served he has spent the last ten years brooding in his cups about revenge more and more, piloting an UM-R60 Urbanmech and gained a feared, if little spread, reputation as a devastating urban combat fighter with a lifetime of dark fury rising to the fore, his fierce intellect coupling with his native talent, professional training and experience to ambush, harass, and rubble his current enemy. His R-60's AC-10 is famed for always being on target, and equally famed for refusing to die regardless of how much return fire Mad Jack inevitably fails to dodge in his furious, bloodthirsty rage.
Deep Background: A disinherited and banished son of minor Lyran nobility, he is the offspring of a lower tier Steiner military officer and an Isle of Skye merchant's daughter. Lazy, hot tempered and exceedingly arbitrary in his decision making processes, he was a constant disappointment to his parents. Disinherited following his dishonourable discharge from the LCAF, he stole his father's Jagermech and ran. With nothing to his name but the clothes on his back, the Jagermech and it's ammo, he joined on with the first MercCorp offering him a ticket off planet. He has not returned to the Isle of Skye Federation in 25 years...until today. After p*ssing off the wrong person, once again, he jumped on the first ship heading out of Davion space - realizing only too late where he was going. But 20 years have passed since the last bounty hunter tried to chase him down for his father's mech, and Solaris VII is famous for it's money making potential...
On Solaris VII: Jack quite quickly made a name for himself, unfortunately not a good one. After destroying a news van and botching the apology Jack has often found himself as the object of ridicule – but rarely to his face. Often at loggerheads with Randolf von Bremen, the two have developed something approaching a grudging respect. The kind of grudging respect only two seasoned cheaters could have: Both need the other strong for their own purposes. That was what it meant to be used by a friend, that they would want the use to make you stronger, not weaker.
Bizarrely making Von Bremen one of the closest friends Jack had on Solaris. His only other friends were his technician, Dan Abnett and his fellow mechwarrior DeMarkus Frankfurt. The scruffy Warlockian had struck a chord with the former Caledonian pirate, and several hours had been whiled away drinking in his hospital room until the nurses caught them talking {Scrap}, most of it mech or woman related, and kicked Frankfurt out. He also received a couple of visits from Bertie Walker and his daughter Heather – with considerably less alcohol.
It was his last match that had put him in hospital. Nearly miraculously remaining unscathed for the duration of the match despite the level of punishment being inflicted on Taysider, the final devastating ram action finally did him in. The force of the impact had slammed the cockpit into the core of the mech, pulverising the internal structure – and Jack. Suffering from whiplash, cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder and multiple lacerations and burns, the fat pirate had still been chortling when the EMTs put him under. A one thousand C-Bill bounty remains unclaimed for any picts featuring the look on his victims face.
During his recovery, Dan Abnett had recruited Rick “Mop Boy” xxx as a second technician for Jack. Between the pair of them they had finished the repairs on Steel Lady, bringing the venerable battlemech back to full working order for the first time in over a quarter century. With Rick’s aid, replacement parts for Taysider had finally been acquired and the two were in the agonizing process of rebuilding the Urbie from the ground up.
Lemme know if I missed anything. Should have time to write tomorrow as I'll be in the car for 7 hours, so seriously. Suggestions welcome
At a minimum, expect a Jack reentry post.
#30
Posted 26 August 2013 - 11:06 PM
i think i am going to scrap this idea and try again.
Edited by dal10, 28 August 2013 - 08:14 AM.
#31
Posted 27 August 2013 - 08:26 AM
#32
Posted 27 August 2013 - 05:53 PM
RogueSpear, on 27 August 2013 - 08:26 AM, said:
none taken, it was a random idea i had at 2 am. if there weren't issues i would be amazed
plot holes i could find.
why someone would bet a mech on a simulator match.
why a stable would want someone with no real combat experience.
Where a bar got 24 military grade simulator pods. (minor scruple, if a normal civilian could get them anywhere it would be solaris.)
as a clarification, by the difficulty separating reality from fantasy issue. he intellectually knows he could indeed die in the arena. the thing is he hasn't emotionally acknowledged it.
example. we all know that one day we will die. but when you have a near death experience, aka you probably should be dead. you fully realize just how mortal you are. as such, you tend to view life differently.
whenever he is in a dangerous spot, he basically pretends that the enemy are just pixels on a screen, and nothing bad will happen. it is a coping mechanism. otherwise he would freeze in the arena. (only thing i could think of to make this character idea work.
this probably matches at least some of the issues. though there are probably more, this is just all i saw at a quick glance when i am not half delirious from lack of sleep.
my biggest issue is that i worked backwards from a character design I was rereading threads of ambition yesterday. some minor characters outfitted with captured st. ives gear were nicknamed the arcade rangers. because while they had no actual combat training they were great at piloting mechs due to their simulator experience at the local arcade. i based my character idea off that.
so basically i completely ignored derek's guide....
Edited by dal10, 27 August 2013 - 06:37 PM.
#33
Posted 27 August 2013 - 09:24 PM
Besides, that's not a logical extreme
I have noticed you tend to only play characters at the extreme end of some scale. Try playing a character radically different to what you normally write. In this case, that'd be more towards the middle. My writing drastically improved when I went from writing aryan (or ginger) supermen with perfect ideals and morality, etc and wrote Mad Jack instead. His entire character concept, from start to end was 'What's something I know that is somewhere around the polar opposite of what I normally write.'
Most issues that tend to arise with your chars tend to be extreme actions that just seem like far too much or just don't fit, writing a more standardized character might help deter that in future.
But I'm knackered as well, so pinch of salt all round. Whee, road trip.
#34
Posted 27 August 2013 - 10:02 PM
and by simulator i was thinking more along the lines of the tesla pods than anything.
i think you kind of hit the side of the nail on the last bit. my characters at least from my point of view, basically take one piece of personality and use solely that as their entire mind set.
Janus - Naivety
Arc - redemption
Andre - Revenge or rage, either works
Kasuga - kinda doesn't fit, but she is hurting on the inside more than anything. (really hard to express through writing, at least this early)
Takeo - not sure how to categorize this in a single word. but he is always running from something. whether stress, a bully, or his parents constant arguments.
lets just ignore my tank crew, i am not really sure what i was trying there.
define extreme actions. (well besides andre's suicidal charging everywhere, but yeah...)
other than that you are right.
now to figure out how to write normal...
Edited by dal10, 28 August 2013 - 07:19 AM.
#35
Posted 27 August 2013 - 11:34 PM
#36
Posted 28 August 2013 - 07:57 AM
However piloting a mech seems to require much more physical fitness, more like piloting a plane than driving a car. Everything I've seen claims that mechwarriors are built and tend to be martial artists (Trains balance, etc). I'd gotten the impression it was required.
Characters with only one emotion end up being very flat and one dimensional. Even Mad Jack, the 'Always angry, all the time guy,' is more than happy to engage in blatant shenanigans and have a laugh.
Extreme actions being anything that iRL is unlikely to occur/would come with hefty consequences. Example, in Midale your character spent most of her intro being groped and fighting. IIRC, that kind of incident would come with a lot heftier consequences than a pat on the back from an old lady and a job offer.
It is fiction, you can get away with a lot you couldn't otherwise. You do however need to try not snap your reader's suspension of disbelief as much as possible. Which you seem to need some practice with
#37
Posted 28 August 2013 - 08:07 AM
i see your point.
#38
Posted 28 August 2013 - 08:43 AM
#39
Posted 28 August 2013 - 10:50 AM
dal10, on 28 August 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:
But I thought they all were backstabbing nobles, or flunkies that hang out at ren fairs...*dodges thrown pottery*
#40
Posted 28 August 2013 - 11:19 AM
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