3435 replies to this topic

[Virlutris]

Sizzles, on 25 February 2016 - 10:41 PM, said:

Virlutris sometimes talks himself into trouble.

One fine day he he was sitting near his Staff Sargent in the mess. And he couldn't help but ask. "Hey Sarge? Where do I get a stick like that?"

"A stick like what?"

"A stick like the one you've got jammed up your backside."

Legend has it that he's still doing push-ups.

When Sizzles comes to attention, he goes straight to the front-leaning rest position. (Edit: this is the pushup position)

His Sergeant Major and Colonel have agreed that this saves time for everyone, and notified his chain of command for expediency's sake.

Edited by Virlutris, 26 February 2016 - 05:12 PM.

[Sparks Murphey]

Virlutris carries a sword around with his feet because "it's the Jade Falcon thing to do." Though some argue about other more Jade Falcony things like reclaiming Terra and hating those darned Wolves, none can deny his impressive toe control.

[Sizzles]

Sparks Murphey was arrested while trying to smuggle several Mola mola into a dropship.

When questioned, all he had to say was " Mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola mola ."

[wanderer]

Sizzle's comm software was accidentally corrupted by a ROM of Pokemon Germanium, leading to replacing common words with animal names, then using the name to replace entire sentences. Fortunately in this case, it's replaced some highly questionable attempts to smuggle palm trees with "medicinal" qualities.

[Bespoke Cheese Cake]

Don't LRM me please keep Atlas skulls under his bed

Wanderer has peanut butter and jelly in all of their underpants

[Sparks Murphey]

Bespoke Cheese Cake knows how to kill a phoenix without it resurrecting. The trick is apparently a big bucket of water right as it bursts into flames.

[BerserX]

Sparks Murphey tried to kill a Phoenix with a bucket of water provided by Bespoke Cheese Cake. Unfortunately, MarineTech intercepted the bucket and switched it out for a bucket of gasoline. By strange coincidence, Sparks was diagnosed with a major sinus infection a few days prior that destroyed his sense of smell, preventing him from noticing the difference in aromas. As the phoenix burst into flames...

...Well, we know the rest of the story.

By the way, I call dibs on Sparks' stuff!

[MarineTech]

BerserX has evidently figured out some way to get out the trunk of the car I had trapped him in since his last appearance here in the thread....

I'm betting it had something to do with gnawing off one of his own limbs.

I'm not giving him his stuff back.

[BerserX]

After gnawing my left arm off in order to escape through the tail light socket on the back of the car that MarineTech had so insidiously trapped me in, a reporter coincidentally happened by and wrote down my entire sob story. I instantly soared to fame and glory with my own reality TV show about how to survive for ***checks last post***8 weeks and 4 days locked in the trunk of a car. I have an interview scheduled for tomorrow with all the major news stations in the country.

BTW, MarineTech didn't get all my stuff. He missed my most valuable possession - a mint condition, laminated original copy of Space Man Spiff and the Zogwarg Terror!



MarineTech is currently under investigation for tax fraud. Apparently, you can't write off $503.31 of military-grade superglue and $176.56 of baling twine as a work expense.

[Nightmare1]

BerserX has the title of bludgeon, but does not actually use a hammer like his title indicates. Rather, he uses his head to bash his enemies into submission.

[Sparks Murphey]

Nightmare1 runs a small, thriving business from the trunk of MarineTech's car. For more information, you'll have to come into his store (just behind the wheel changing accessories), as the all steel body means he gets very poor cell reception at work, and a wired telephone is impractical. Alternatively, ask one of the baffled nuns seen gazing blankly at their hands around MarineTech's car.

[Nightmare1]

Sparks Murphy supplies me with both habits and baffles to sell to the nuns. He also provides me with trenchcoats, the insides of which have both habits and baffles taped to them for my clandestine sales. If it wasn't for Sparks, I wouldn't be in business!

[Domoneky]

Nightmare1 during his....."Phase"

[Virlutris]

Domonkey tried wearing one of Nighmare1's baffle- and habit-lined trenchcoats to conduct discreet curbside sales of explosive bunnies.

He decided it was too risky though, because if one of those bunnies went off, the coat would have actually contained the force of the blast.

No need to take unnecessary risks in the explosive bunny business, after all.

[MarineTech]

Virlutris once tried wearing one of Nightmare's trenchcoats around town.... He was mistaken for a flasher and arrested when he went into the subway and was caught smiling randomly at people walking by.

After explaining to arresting officers that the coat was for "bunnies" and not exhibitionism, Virlutris was dropped off at the State Home for the Not Quite All There, for evaluation.

[Virlutris]

Marine Tech was there as a first-hand witness.

They gave us rooms accross the hall from each other at the State Home after he told the arresting officers that his trenchcoat wasn't for bunnies--it was for nuns.

Edited by Virlutris, 09 March 2016 - 02:16 PM.

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris managed to escape from his room and ran screaming through the building demanding an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich. The folks managing the facility gave him one to calm him down, but as soon as he finished, he demanded another. After this had been repeated for quite awhile, Virlutris had a considerable pile of foil wrappers in his room. One night, he broke out of his room again, escaped from the building, and used the huge pile of foil wrappers to build himself a balloon to escape over the fence.

However, he was picked up the next morning at the nearby Arby's.

In hindsight, his wards believe that he picked up the idea from watching too much A-Team.

Edited by Nightmare1, 11 March 2016 - 06:59 AM.

[Virlutris]

Nightmare1, on 11 March 2016 - 06:58 AM, said:

Virlutris managed to escape from his room and ran screaming through the building demanding an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich. The folks managing the facility gave him one to calm him down, but as soon as he finished, he demanded another. After this had been repeated for quite awhile, Virlutris had a considerable pile of foil wrappers in his room. One night, he broke out of his room again, escaped from the building, and used the huge pile of foil wrappers to build himself a balloon to escape over the fence.

However, he was picked up the next morning at the nearby Arby's.

In hindsight, his wards believe that he picked up the idea from watching too much A-Team.

I blame you for this being entirely too plausible.

Hey, could you pass me that Horsey sauce over there? I need it for these curly fries, and ... for ... stuff ...

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris, on 11 March 2016 - 09:09 AM, said:

I blame you for this being entirely too plausible.

Hey, could you pass me that Horsey sauce over there? I need it for these curly fries, and ... for ... stuff ...

Virlutris often gets confused, forgetting which thread he is in when he does.

[Virlutris]

Err, oops.

Nightmare1 exists in a state of quantum superimposition between the "Blame The Person Who Posted Before You" thread and the "Make Up a Fun Fact About the Person Before You" thread.

I will readily admit to being disoriented in responding as a result.

Check your surroundings and actively engage your environment, people. Situational awareness saves lives!

I still need that Horsey sauce by the way. Curly fries OP.

Edited by Virlutris, 11 March 2016 - 09:30 AM.