915 replies to this topic

[Tustle]

StompingOnTanks, on 04 February 2015 - 05:41 PM, said:

Japan wants mechs really, really bad, don't they?

Sparks Murphey, on 04 February 2015 - 10:41 PM, said:

Can you honestly say you don't?

Question: don't we all? (Want mechs)

[StompingOnTanks]

1038. In the spirit of keeping this topic on track, all members of this forum and the Stomptopian Military are required to want mechs in real life as per our new personality cult. Any who disagree will be demoted to tank crew.

Which normally wouldn't be that bad, since tanks are still a big part of the BattleTech universe, except in the Stomptopian Military tanks are required to let themselves be stood on (not crushed) and used as rollerskates by mech pilots on demand. Which is pretty much every mission.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 05 February 2015 - 05:04 PM.

[SethAbercromby]

1039. The mechanics crew have begun getting some sort of weird existencial crisis as of late. You're free to beleive whatever you want as long as it gets our jobs done.

[Tustle]

1040. There is a special kind of stress MechWarriors may develop if they stay away from their borrowed BattleMechs too long. It is recommended MechWarriors strap themselves into the hot seat at minimum one three five seven times a week in order to alleviate said stress.

"I believe this would be the moment that I should say 'phew, I need a cigarette!' If I smoked that is."
-Corporal Tinn Kann upon returning from extended shore leave and
after several sorties in his assorted BattleMechs

[Sizzles]

1041: 'Mech Warriors, please stop sending your new Technicians on wild goose chases for "elbow grease" and "plate armor stretchers."

[Rogue Jedi]

1041a. due to the fact that most of those "jokes" were old when the Mackie was invented your technicians probably already know them all and are likely to find a far more inventive prank to spring on you.

if you are willing to give you had better be willing to receive with interest.

Edited by Rogue Jedi, 07 February 2015 - 04:01 PM.

[AzureDragoon]

Sparks Murphey, on 30 January 2015 - 06:12 PM, said:

Is that a Gatling shotgun, built on a SAW frame?

My shoulder is just aching from looking at it.... and yet... I want to take that to a range and fire that thing. Does it come with aTri-pod/ vehicle pintle mounted?

1042: Stop insisting the techs install a "Blazer" on the soon to be deployed to the front lines Zeus mechs. Not only do they produce more heat than just firing 2 Large Lasers seperately, do less damage than 2 Large Lasers fired Seperately, and mean that the amazing 1 ton of weight, and 1 weapon hard point saved mean that saved weight is going to probably be devoted to a Double heat sink anyways, the model in which the weapon was installed on is not even being deployed for use.

1042a: Yes, the Techs will work to create your "Ace Custom", so long as the parts are easily purchasible from a catalog of known manufactured parts. They will NOT however, indulge your need to have specially designed weapons and equipment on your mech, no matter how much you plead that it was "Awesome" when you saw it in the latest Mecha Anime broadcasted from House Kurita.

1043. The Mobile Field Base is designed primarily for three purposes. 1 to act as a fully stocked, and mobile HQ for our front line forces. 2. To act as a field Mech Bay to carry out repairs on our forces mechs. and 3. To hold vital provisions we need to conduct warfare. It is NOT, Private, the "Party Bus" and you may NOT drive it to the nearest town or city to try and impress those of your personal preference to join you, and you are most certainly NOT allowed to use the lasers mounted on the the Commanders personal mech that you forgot was loaded on the MFB for repairs for purpose of acting as lights for your new "dance club" especially as it's likely several critical safety components to prevent everything from exploding spectacularly are probably uninstalled for maintenance, let alone a blatant disregard for weapon usage safety!

Edited by AzureDragoon, 08 February 2015 - 03:58 AM.

[StompingOnTanks]

1044. That was actually me and as base commander I hereby override rule 1043.

Let's party.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 08 February 2015 - 11:41 AM.

[Sparks Murphey]

AzureDragoon, on 08 February 2015 - 03:55 AM, said:

Is that a Gatling shotgun, built on a SAW frame?

My shoulder is just aching from looking at it.... and yet... I want to take that to a range and fire that thing. Does it come with aTri-pod/ vehicle pintle mounted?

Not just a Gatling shotgun, an Assault Sniper Shotgun Machine Rifle. You can just see the rifling in the barrels from the muzzle angle, though I'm not sure they'd have much effect on shot rounds (you could get some spin on a 12 gauge slug, though). The design is mine, though it took inspiration from the M249 SAW, the NEGEV NG7, and the GAU-19/A. I originally intended to design a bipod attachment for the front, but ended up forgetting and posting before I did so. My Shadowrun players have been begging me to let them have one in the game as well.

AzureDragoon, on 08 February 2015 - 03:55 AM, said:

1043. The Mobile Field Base is designed primarily for three purposes. 1 to act as a fully stocked, and mobile HQ for our front line forces. 2. To act as a field Mech Bay to carry out repairs on our forces mechs. and 3. To hold vital provisions we need to conduct warfare. It is NOT, Private, the "Party Bus" and you may NOT drive it to the nearest town or city to try and impress those of your personal preference to join you, and you are most certainly NOT allowed to use the lasers mounted on the the Commanders personal mech that you forgot was loaded on the MFB for repairs for purpose of acting as lights for your new "dance club" especially as it's likely several critical safety components to prevent everything from exploding spectacularly are probably uninstalled for maintenance, let alone a blatant disregard for weapon usage safety!

Well, I know what I'll be calling the MFB on comms now.

1045: Those dancing around the feet of the newly arriving light 'Mechs with a camera shouting out things like, "Ooh, baby, gimme a pose, yer a Panther, roar fer me, baby, show me that slink!" are liable to discover what a bolt of charged particles does to the human body.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 08 February 2015 - 01:04 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

1046. "Prepare Your Buttholes" is not an appropriate battle cry.

[SethAbercromby]

1046.1 You are not allowed to do scientific research on it's effectiveness compared to other battle cries either. Just take our word for it. We already tried.

[Sizzles]

1047: DO NOT

I repeat,

DO NOT, use the special sauces except under the most dire of circumstances.

[Rogue Jedi]

1047. Just because it has been confirmed that Comstar are working on improving MASC does not mean we will soon get Battlemechs capable of moving faster than 171.2 KPH, I think it has something to do with the land speed barrier past which point Mechs appear to become impervious to enemy fire, this may sound useful but imagine if this technology fell into the hands of the Invaders.

[Sparks Murphey]

1048: Corrugated cardboard is significantly stronger than non-corrugated cardboard. It is still not strong enough to support a 'Mech.

[StompingOnTanks]

1049: Origami trusses, however, are.

[Hayashi]

1050: Rule 34 also applies to King Crabs.

[Sparks Murphey]

1051: Observing that Locusts and Cicadas are just knee-high to a Grasshopper, while factually correct, isn't impressing anyone.

[Tustle]

1052: Never get involved in a land war within the Draconis Combine.

1053: Reminder to all units foot-deep in Clan territory in an attempt to reclaim it for their respective House: there is going to be a huge demand to get off world but a low supply of Dropships to get people off world. You are all mercenaries. The ones who leave are therefore the highest bidders, capeesh?

1053 b: Further reminder: the C-Bills you get from these 'room on a jumpship' auctions count as "salvage." In other words, it's for the company. Be happy with the bonuses going to those units towing back the 1% of the world in question.

(for those among you that didn't get 1052:)

Edited by Tank Man, 22 March 2015 - 12:01 PM.

[SnagaDance]

1054: If you hear a *CHIRP* sound behind you do not assume it's 'just' a Locust or a Cicada. There's a lot bigger insect around right now...

[AdmiralKirov]

1055: Coolant is not necessarily cool!

1056: due to rule 1055 use of beer as dual purpose coolant is highly discouraged!

1057: hot beer sucks!

Edited by AdmiralKirov, 20 March 2015 - 03:36 AM.