915 replies to this topic

[IraqiWalker]

1100- do not leave your post for several months on end. You might end up with a LOT of catching up to do.

[StompingOnTanks]

1101. If one of our members does leave his post, spam his inbox to the best of your ability.

[IraqiWalker]

StompingOnTanks, on 08 May 2015 - 03:37 AM, said:

1101. If one of our members does leave his post, spam his inbox to the best of your ability.

[That is downright evil ]

1102. Using multiple accounts to attack a single target is a very effective tactic. If you can't get caught.
1103. using mech grease as a substitute for cooking oil is not advised. Unless you're using grease from an FRR mech. In that case, keep going.

[Rogue Jedi]

1104. the most common Mech mounted energy weapons are types of Laser not Lazer, misspelling it in that way on a report or requisition may be hazardous to your health ^{(there are some people who feel very strongly about the correct spelling, I recently had to stop an assault on a rookie Mechwarrior who misspelled it on a requisition form admittedly I could have prevented the quartermasters from commencing the assault rather than merely stopping it after about 30 seconds but I do see there point, the word Laser started as an acronym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation, besides I doubt the Mechwarrior in question will ever misspell it again)}

1105. just because a King Crab can punch a Mech using its weapon arm without damaging the weapon does not mean most other Mechs can, and if your Mechs arm contains a Gauss Rifle do not try it under any circumstances, the Gauss Rifle is rather fragile, and if damaged will inflict far more damage to your Mech than the punch will to the enemy Mech

[Big Tin Man]

1106: If/when said member does return to his post, they better have returned with enough pizza, beer, cookies or bacon for the ENTIRE company. If not, nobody else will have to worry about latrine duty for a long time.

Edited by Big Tin Man, 08 May 2015 - 08:23 AM.

[Tustle]

[1104 b]: Therefore under pain of ridicule and physical aggression inflicted upon the perpetrator, it is really, truly, not suggested to stencil "I'mah Firin' mah Lazer!" on the side of any laser housing bays. Yes, even if you are fully aware that it's spelled wrong and yes, even if they are lasers mounted on your own BattleMech.

1107: There are no Behemoth heavy tanks. There is only [mad] SCIENCE. Also, the Commander Stomping may have found the Behemoths.

1108: "Arcanic Science" is not the answer to a standard 60 fusion engine's negative mass.

1109: [If in an Assault 'mech,] do not attempt to destroy enemy spheroid-style DropShips by picking them up and cracking them open, even if they are shaped like eggs.

[SnagaDance]

1104 c: It is not recommended to warm your tea with lasers, and certainly not by using lazors!!

[Sparks Murphey]

1110: This is not tip number 14. Only your computers use binary, and even they convert it to something more readable. Despite any technical accuracy, the next person to report encountering "1100" BattleMechs in the next valley over, rather than the more comprehensible "12", "a company of", or even the informal "a dozen" will be responsible for trouser cleaning duty once everyone has calmed down.

[IraqiWalker]

1112: Rule 1111 should be practiced with care, especially when it comes to love interests.

[blackcatf]

GrandLocomon, on 21 February 2014 - 05:56 AM, said:

295. LEEEERRROOOOOYYYYY JENKIIIINNSSSS!!!! Is not an approved tactical manoeuvre.

Umm...the hell it isn't.

Rad Hanzo, on 21 February 2014 - 01:41 PM, said:

302 : "LEEEERRROOOOOYYY JEENNNNNEEEEERRRRKIIIIIINNNNSSSSS !" is an approved tactical manouver .

The rulz, they contradict...wait is that "Leeroy Jennerkins"? Well played...

[Tustle]

1114: Inner Sphere MechWarriors, consider yourselves lucky: for all their advanced space and weight savings technology plus their apparent fighting prowess, the Clans still get the titchy end of the stick. Often the pointy end with very little traces of treats, much less carrots.

(Seriously though, this weekend's event kinda sucks for the Invasion owners who only bought the most basic of the packages or one a la carte. *cough*)
(ADDENDUM: it sucks even more for the loyalists who bought Clan packs. I can get that they want people playing the feature folks have been asking for since MWO was conceived and all, but come on now at least with the other two 'major release' events every single person that was a participant of those major releases got extra stuff. Not just the ones who picked the right fancy picture to be loyal to before the event, but every single founder and every single phoenix owner got to work for extra stuff.)

(Something wasn't well thought out here.)

Edited by Tank Man, 22 May 2015 - 05:32 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

1115. Painting your mech red will not make it go 3 times faster, have 3 times more power and will not allow you to kick other mechs in zero gravity.

[IraqiWalker]

1116. Painting it black, will. At least that's what Burbank Charlie says.

[SnagaDance]

1117. My ETA to the battlefield is 34 seconds. It is ALWAYS 34 seconds.

[StompingOnTanks]

1118. There are three kinds of support; "Direct Fire Support" whereupon you use long range, direct fire weapons to snipe down the enemy, "Indirect Fire Support" whereupon you use LRMs to bombard enemies from cover, and "Heavy Metal Moral Support" when you switch to open comms and play "This War Is Ours" by Escape The Fate in your cockpit for all to hear, which causes your entire team to sing along and thus gain damage buffs.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 21 June 2015 - 05:17 PM.

[wanderer]

1119. Music has had a recognizable place on the battlefield since antiquity, whether inspirational or as a form of C3 disruption (aka the "Goldfish Warning" in Kuritan space), As a subtle form of psychological alterations, it is unparalleled, but can also be useful in determining the attitude and morale of the enemy if one can tap into general comm frequencies. The example below is "FRR, likely to die to the last man resisting."

[StompingOnTanks]

1120. Once again, I'd like to remind everyone at base that pentagrams, ouija boards, holy water, crucifixes, ancient ritual books and the Holy Grail are NOT toys and are not to be used to dial up inter-dimensional female entities who might be looking for a "good time". Not only does a screw-up by one of you amateurs run the risk of blowing a gigantic hole between the space-time walls of this universe and the next three, but some of them carry STDs that we didn't even know were possible to exist.

And gaining the ability to shoot dark matter projectiles out of your nether region upon command will not be waved off as a "beneficial side effect" so long as I work here.

[Big Tin Man]

1120a: Reprogramming the Jumpship's nav comuputer to reply "There is no Kerny-Fuchida drive, only Zuul" is not funny because you saw it on some holovid from the late 20th century. Some of our navigators are very timid and superstitious folks, and will take a lot of coaxing to get them back onto the bridge, and this is going to delay our trip to the front by weeks.

Edited by Big Tin Man, 10 August 2015 - 07:51 AM.

[SnagaDance]

1120b: In the same vein as 1120a it is not funny to have the Jumpship's nav computer reply "I cannot let you do that Dave". Our navigators need to have faith in their equipment, and not live in fear of an imaginary rogue AI.

[Rogue Jedi]

StompingOnTanks, on 07 August 2015 - 04:50 PM, said:

1120. Once again, I'd like to remind everyone at base that pentagrams, ouija boards, holy water, crucifixes, ancient ritual books and the Holy Grail are NOT toys and are not to be used to dial up inter-dimensional female entities who might be looking for a "good time". Not only does a screw-up by one of you amateurs run the risk of blowing a gigantic hole between the space-time walls of this universe and the next three, but some of them carry STDs that we didn't even know were possible to exist.

so does that mean I am not getting any other standard engines rated below 100 any time soon?

1121. there is no magic used in the creation of the STD 60 engine fitted to the urbanmech, it is just mad science, the gasses filling the engine are lighter than air, so cancel out the weight of the shielding and heatsinks for such a small engine, now I have no idea where they found gasses capable of being so much lighter than air that they overcome more than 2 tonnes of weight in such a small space, but there is a rational scientific explanation.
it is indeed fortunate that a STD60 engine plant remained functional after the fall of the Star league