915 replies to this topic

[StompingOnTanks]

1122. MechWarriors, you are to use the proper kill marks to count your victories when painting your mech chassis. The modern kill mark is a BattleMech silhouette imposed over the symbol of whatever faction that mech belonged to. You are not to use WWII airplane silhouettes as your kill marks unless you actually shoot down a WWII airplane.

In which case, Jesus, man, what fringe world did they ship you off too?

1223. If you get your slinky tangled, it is not your lance commander's responsibility to untangle it for you.

[Rogue Jedi]

1223a. nether is it the job of any other Mechwarrior or Tech or even scientist (despite the fact that the slinky is lostech)
untangle it yourself

[StompingOnTanks]

1224. Repeatedly hitting the enemy with your slinky is not a recommended battle strategy.
1224A. It doesn't work on women you like either.
1224B. It REALLY doesn't work on the Clans. Sparks tried.
1224C. It may work on any sentient worm species you come across on your tours of duty. This is how Rogue Jedi achieved the status of Worm God on a certain planet.

1225. The Small Laser,despite its name, is a highly dangerous half-a-ton directed energy weapon designed to fry entire squads of infantry and vaporize light vehicles in one blast. It is not to be used for corrective laser eye surgery, no matter how harmless your fellow MechWarriors say it is.

A rule of thumb: Just because it can't harm a Battlemech doesn't mean it can't harm yer' lookin' balls.

[Rogue Jedi]

StompingOnTanks, on 13 August 2015 - 06:19 PM, said:

1224C. It may work on any sentient worm species you come across on your tours of duty. This is how Rogue Jedi achieved the status of Worm God on a certain planet.

after being declared "Worm God" I asked for a promotion, I did not get it

1226. titles do not necessarily mean a promotion or pay rise or even an increase in respect/reverence shown to you by other members of this unit

[wanderer]

Rogue Jedi, on 11 August 2015 - 05:39 AM, said:

so does that mean I am not getting any other standard engines rated below 100 any time soon?

1121. there is no magic used in the creation of the STD 60 engine fitted to the urbanmech, it is just mad science, the gasses filling the engine are lighter than air, so cancel out the weight of the shielding and heatsinks for such a small engine, now I have no idea where they found gasses capable of being so much lighter than air that they overcome more than 2 tonnes of weight in such a small space, but there is a rational scientific explanation.
it is indeed fortunate that a STD60 engine plant remained functional after the fall of the Star league

Logical operating system technology is lostech.

[Sizzles]

1227: Just because you gave your Hatchetman an ax, does not mean it has been upgraded into an Axman. It still weighs the same, and the only stats that have changed is the amount of stress on the right arm. The reverse is also true for the Axman being downgraded to a Hatchetman.

[StompingOnTanks]

1228: For those of you who keep asking where our new Marauders went, we had to scrap them after a certain Kuritan anime company that hasn't made anything in the past three centuries but cease and desists and lawsuits, sent us a cease and desist under threat of a lawsuit.

Don't worry, we are having the techs attach pairs of Mad Cat arms onto Ebon Jaguars with their walking telemetry modified to allow for taller stances after having their innards gutted and replaced with IS tech. It's technically not a Marauder, but it looks and performs exactly like one, we're just going to name it the Murderer instead.

[Rogue Jedi]

1229. while there seems to be some truth behind the rumors that Kurita scientists are attempting to modify some Mechs to carry a 7 meter long katana there is no truth to the rumor that the katana is forged by a Hatchetman, wielding a hammer and flamers instead of the usual armament and piloted by someone who has spent years training in the art of forging the sword

[Alex Morgaine]

StompingOnTanks, on 05 February 2014 - 02:27 PM, said:

121. Referring to a BattleMech as a "Transformer", "Gundam", "Evangelion", or "Anime Robot" will result in your immediate execution by firing squad.

This needs to be a real rule.

[Sizzles]

1230: Do not touch the water melons.

[wanderer]

Quote

1230: Do not touch the water melons.

This is already a canonical rule at the NAIS.

[SnagaDance]

1231: It is not allowed to climb up the building in your Atlas, or any other non-jumpjet equipped mech.

1231b: Yes, this goes for Captain Adams as well.

[Big Tin Man]

1232: Captain Adams is not in any way related to Captain Atom, nor does he have any superpowers. Stop asking.

1232.1: Captain Adams does have the power to put you on latrine duty, indefinitely.

[Sizzles]

1233: 'MechWarriors, please stop attempting to turn our Hetzer Wheeled Assault Guns into roller skates for your 'Mechs.

This is neither practical or cost effective.

Edited by Sizzles, 06 September 2015 - 04:44 PM.

[SteelyDan]

Rule:1235 All rules that have been posted after Rule 404, is now invalid. Carry on.

Edited by SteelyDan, 07 September 2015 - 11:53 AM.

[wanderer]

SteelyDan, on 07 September 2015 - 11:53 AM, said:

Rule:1235 All rules that have been posted after Rule 404, is now invalid. Carry on.

Rule 1235b: Fortunately, Rule 404 is generally not found, allowing us to use ALL THE RULES anyway.

[SteelyDan]

wanderer, on 07 September 2015 - 01:09 PM, said:

Rule 1235b: Fortunately, Rule 404 is generally not found, allowing us to use ALL THE RULES anyway.

Well played, Sir!

Rule 1236: When the Ground crew is checking and cleaning the Projectile Weapons barrels, please make sure the Weapons are cleared of any Ordinance.
Cleaning off said Ground Crew, is messy, and the paper work is time consuming, and the C.O. will never let you live it down..

[Rogue Jedi]

SteelyDan, on 07 September 2015 - 11:53 AM, said:

Rule:1235 All rules that have been posted after Rule 404, is now invalid. Carry on.

which means rule 1235 is also invalid, I would have worded that a bit better, e.g. rule numbers 405-1234 are invalid, unless you were going for a paradox rule

[B0oN]

Rule 1237 : At some point in space and time it is only natural for any set of rules kept in one space to collapse and form an entirely new universe that might have nothing to do with the universe they came from and reacts even more allergic to the words "I´ma firin ma lazors" than already encountered in this unvierse and its original set of rules .

Edited by Rad Hanzo, 09 September 2015 - 12:37 AM.

[SnagaDance]

Rule 1237 in video format: