Non-Combat Tips (Parody List)
#81
Posted 17 February 2014 - 05:49 PM
#82
Posted 17 February 2014 - 05:58 PM
270: "Thataway" is not a recognised vector when reporting the movement of enemy units, no matter what Bugs Bunny says.
271: There is no such thing as the BattleMech Basketball League. Please stop asking the quartermaster for Air Jordans in size 234.
272: BattleMechs are hardy enough to survive smashing through buildings. However, buildings are rarely strong enough to survive being smashed through by BattleMechs. Please respect the local property.
273: Edit: Never assume your rules are correctly numbered before posting.
Edited by Sparks Murphey, 17 February 2014 - 05:58 PM.
#83
Posted 17 February 2014 - 06:15 PM
275. Your lancemate's mechs cannot combine into Megazord. When your CO asks if anyone has any good ideas, do not suggest this.
276. Stop using the empty prisoner's barracks as a BDSM dungeon. We want any prisoners we take to be as not freaked out as possible.
277. No, you can't use the CO's barracks either... Unless he/she already has one in there, which might be the case.
278. Ejecting your Mech's weapons, picking up a melee weapon, and challenging the enemy commander in a one-on-one no-guns duel to determine the winner of the battle is usually not recommended, unless you're fighting the Kuritans or Clanners, in which case it might work.
#84
Posted 18 February 2014 - 05:40 AM
#85
Posted 18 February 2014 - 03:22 PM
282. Just because the Mech is named after a book of maps DOES NOT mean an Atlas pilot can give you useful directions
#86
Posted 18 February 2014 - 03:28 PM
Exception to this is wielding them as improvised clubs to ward off Spiders.
#87
Posted 18 February 2014 - 04:06 PM
(If you get this reference you get a free cookie. ( '')>O )
#91
Posted 18 February 2014 - 10:01 PM
#92
Posted 19 February 2014 - 03:56 AM
#93
Posted 19 February 2014 - 03:32 PM
288: If you see a Mech using such a neural interface be concerned.
289: Especially if it is from pacific rim, in which case it weighs 2500ish tons.
290: Call for backup if you are outclassed like that.
#94
Posted 19 February 2014 - 09:40 PM
DavidHurricane, on 19 February 2014 - 03:32 PM, said:
288: If you see a Mech using such a neural interface be concerned.
289: Especially if it is from pacific rim, in which case it weighs 2500ish tons.
290: Call for backup if you are outclassed like that.
I don't think that's gonna be a problem. Jaegers are 2500-ish tons of current-ish technology, while Battlemechs are about a thousand years in advance. Think about how much time it takes to go through a Battlemech's armor.
I'm pretty sure a single Gauss shell could breach the entire Jaeger and go straight to the core.
#95
Posted 19 February 2014 - 09:55 PM
Helmstif, on 19 February 2014 - 09:40 PM, said:
Here I was looking at the speed comparisons - haven't seen the movie, but they don't appear to have any ranged weaponry built in.
If not - any decent Locust could simply kite the thing - let alone some of the "stronger" mechs.
#96
Posted 20 February 2014 - 05:36 AM
Edited by GrandLocomon, 20 February 2014 - 05:36 AM.
#97
Posted 20 February 2014 - 06:17 AM
Helmstif, on 19 February 2014 - 09:40 PM, said:
I don't think that's gonna be a problem. Jaegers are 2500-ish tons of current-ish technology, while Battlemechs are about a thousand years in advance. Think about how much time it takes to go through a Battlemech's armor.
I'm pretty sure a single Gauss shell could breach the entire Jaeger and go straight to the core.
Shar Wolf, on 19 February 2014 - 09:55 PM, said:
If not - any decent Locust could simply kite the thing - let alone some of the "stronger" mechs.
I actually doubt it. The Jaegers do have long-range weaponry built in, and they're ******* massive - plasma cannons, missile launchers, flamethrowers (which Cherno Alpha had but weren't used in the movie), and more. Also, anything that can survive being punched by a Kaiju probably isn't going to die with one hit from a relatively tiny Gauss Rifle slug.
#98
Posted 20 February 2014 - 03:48 PM
#99
Posted 20 February 2014 - 05:20 PM
Edited by StompingOnTanks, 20 February 2014 - 05:20 PM.
#100
Posted 20 February 2014 - 05:32 PM
...it wasn't even that far off-topic as they had been brought up alreayd.
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