915 replies to this topic

[Alaskan Nobody]

Nathan Foxbane, on 05 February 2014 - 01:32 PM, said:

111. List of approved melee weaponry: Trees, I-beams, foundation piles, severed limbs (your allies will want theirs back when the battle is over),

I gave them back Not my fault he climbed out of the cockpit right as I dropped it.

[StompingOnTanks]

121. Referring to a BattleMech as a "Transformer", "Gundam", "Evangelion", or "Anime Robot" will result in your immediate execution by firing squad.

[Alaskan Nobody]

StompingOnTanks, on 05 February 2014 - 02:27 PM, said:

121. Referring to a BattleMech as a "Transformer", "Gundam", "Evangelion", or "Anime Robot" will result in your immediate execution by firing squad.

Not stomping squad?
...NVM thats only for tanks.

[Sandpit]

StompingOnTanks, on 05 February 2014 - 02:27 PM, said:

121. Referring to a BattleMech as a "Transformer", "Gundam", "Evangelion", or "Anime Robot" will result in your immediate execution by firing squad.

Does that mean I can't ask how to activate the shields on my robot at the beginning of matches anymore?

[Alaskan Nobody]

Sandpit, on 05 February 2014 - 03:55 PM, said:

Does that mean I can't ask how to activate the shields on my robot at the beginning of matches anymore?

He didn't say that.

[Hexenhammer]

122. Commandos can not fly even if you dress them up as Buzz Lightyear.
123. Truck nuts are meant for trucks. That's why they are called truck nuts and not Mech Nuggets.

Edited by Hexenhammer, 05 February 2014 - 04:47 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Eventually we will have our own Mr. Welch list

[Nathan Foxbane]

124. Skippy's List is required reading.

[990Dreams]

125: CW not being released isn't an excuse for not fighting and I will personally give you an AC/40 for whining.

[StompingOnTanks]

Nathan Foxbane, on 06 February 2014 - 03:31 PM, said:

124. Skippy's List is required reading.

191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

Only because I wasn't there.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 06 February 2014 - 04:42 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

90001. The same rules that apply to Mr. Welch apply to the rest of us.

[Sparks Murphey]

126: Shouting "Pull!" as a friendly scout releases a UAV and trying to shoot it out of the air with your LB-10-X is not permitted.
127: Snowmen are not a substitute for turrets, whether or not the snow is "just right".
128: Fitting non-factory spoilers, replacing existing engine exhausts with oversized replacements, or lowering the travel on your leg actuators for a "closer ride" diminishes your 'Mech's value as a combat machine, and will not be tolerated.
129: Flashman pilots are to refrain from shouting "I'm the Juggernaut, b****!" over comms and charging at opponents every chance they get. Technicians have installed ranged weapons for a reason.

[Sandpit]

136. Tall tales are only permitted when referencing that locust that killed you was

[Sparks Murphey]

Marack Drock, on 06 February 2014 - 05:40 PM, said:

130. If your commanders name is Sparks Murphey, friendly fire is permitted.

[StompingOnTanks]

137. You are not allowed to question why mechs don't have turning heads.
138. Neither are you allowed to question why LRMs have a minimum range.
139. When female COs are present, covering up or painting over any questionable female emblems on your mechs may be a good idea.
140. The Marauder is NOT a "Officer's Battle Pod". Stop watching ancient Terran anime.

[Sparks Murphey]

141: Yes, your 'Mech can withstand a PPC blast. No, this does not mean it is safe to walk through high-voltage overhead power lines.
142: A typical beer can in the range of 350ml to 500ml is insufficiently reinforced to handle the stresses of being fired from an AC/2 and will make a mess that you will be cleaning up.
143: Typical beer cans should not be subjected to "after-market modification" to make them able to handle the stresses of being fired from an AC/2.
144: Even if your fellow MechWarrior does carry quad AC/2s on his 'Mech, this is still not justification to refer to it as a LagerMech. See 142 and 143 above.
145: As mentioned in 55, gyros are not toys. Neither are they rides for kittens, even if you have built a safety harness small enough to fit inside.
146: The Hokey Pokey is not an officially recognised battle formation.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Sparks Murphey, on 06 February 2014 - 07:59 PM, said:

141: Yes, your 'Mech can withstand a PPC blast. No, this does not mean it is safe to walk through high-voltage overhead power lines.

My current favorite book in the universe of Battletech involves at one point, an infantrywoman using a downed power line to take out a battlemech.

[SteelyDan]

147: I may not trade my Mech for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Clan Mechs, LosTech Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s

148: You are not allowed to blast the 20th Century Music group, Steely Dan's "Don't Take Me Alive..." while in battle.. Unless you are SteelyDan...

Edited by SteelyDan, 07 February 2014 - 01:22 PM.

[Nathan Foxbane]

149. Any 'Mech modification suggestions that make the techs turn pale are not permitted.
150. Any 'Mech modification suggestions that result in Section 8 discharges or worse are war crimes and will be treated as such.
151. You will be held liable for all damages and material loss if you play "kick the can" with your 'Mech and barrels of pentaglycerin.
152. Being dispossessed is not a joke.
153. Mounting a trebuchet on your Trebuchet to replace the LRMS is a downgrade. The same goes for Catapults.
154. You have not "become Death," you are not a "destroyer of worlds." Get over it.
155. Your Atlas cannot dual wield Awesomes. Stop trying.
156. Confetti ammo is not an authorized ammunition type and you will have to clean up the resulting mess. By hand.
157. There is no "Death Blossom" module. Stop asking the quartermaster about it.
158. New Mechwarrior academy graduates are junior officers, not "dummy rounds."
159. Bundles of rebar are not an acceptable substitute for Gauss Rifle ammo. The cost of replacing the bore will come out of your paycheck.
160. Replacing the PPC on the female CO's Battlemaster with a chain whip and stenciling Battlemistress beneath the cockpit is frowned upon.
161. If she likes it. RUN!!!

Edited by Nathan Foxbane, 07 February 2014 - 04:24 PM.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Nathan Foxbane, on 07 February 2014 - 02:46 PM, said:

159. Bundles of rebar are not an acceptable substitute for Gauss Rifle ammo. The cost of replacing the bore will come out of your paycheck.

"Can I muzzle-load it?"
"Yes, but your average I-beam has lousy ballistics"
Kai's first question to having Yenlo's AC/20 replaced with a Guass, and it's reply

Nathan Foxbane, on 07 February 2014 - 02:46 PM, said:

157. There is no "Death Blossom" module. Stop asking the quartermaster about it.

Meh, they couldn't spin fast enough anyways