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Tetatae the perfect livestock


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#1 Lupine

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 07:22 AM

Greeting fellow humans it has come to my attention that the Tetatae species is in extreme danger and must be saved. The Capellans that they currently live among will surely overuse and extinguish this valuable and delicious resource, not to mention the large amounts of uncooked rice abounding in their realm that will surely lead to the involuntary combustion of many a Tetatae. I was concerned before but after going to a local chinese restaurant and seeing the insane amounts of poultry dishes listed I know we must act now to domesticate and properly harness them before it is too late.

I dream of one day waking up to my Tetatae serving my family an omelet of the highest quality and at the same time helping her species to maintain the proper population levels. After breakfast she would go out into the herb garden to make sure all of the proper seasonings for poultry are growing well. I imagine the smile on my childs face as she helps them mount upon her back to carry them to school acting as both transportation and bodyguard. Her deft hands would make vehicle and mech maintenance a breeze to accoumplish. Of course we know one day our grand children or their children will lose her to old age but she would be properly honored with a ceremony and funeral pyre followed by a roast duck dinner for the entire community. Making a beautiful cloak for my family from her feathers to remember her seems the best way to say goodbye to one who gave so much.

I implore you all to join me in the PDT "People for the Domestication of Tetatae". This is not a mercenary unit or associated with any particular faction. In fact I sincerely hope people from all factions can come together to help save this species from what I fear are their last days. If you wish to join my cause simply place the following line in your siggy.

Proud Member of the PDA - "Space ducks aren't people they're poultry"

Edited by Lupine, 22 June 2012 - 07:38 AM.


#2 Hawkeye 72

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 07:48 AM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 07:22 AM, said:


I dream of one day waking up to my Tetatae serving my family an omelet of the highest quality and at the same time helping her species to maintain the proper population levels.


I have a dream, that one day I will serve omelets to my family, and that Tetatae will be inside that omelet, cut up into tasty morsels.

Mmmm mm good!

That's some Kentucky Fried Tetatae right there!

#3 Vandal

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 08:26 AM

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#4 Silent

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 08:26 AM

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#5 Lupine

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 08:51 AM

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#6 Aym

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 08:59 AM

So... PETA in the future is People Eating TetatAe?

#7 BenEEeees VAT GROWN BACON

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 08:59 AM

Someone should grow these in a vat.

#8 Wales Grey

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 12:05 PM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 07:22 AM, said:

I dream of one day waking up to my Tetatae serving my family an omelet of the highest quality and at the same time helping her species to maintain the proper population levels. After breakfast she would go out into the herb garden to make sure all of the proper seasonings for poultry are growing well. I imagine the smile on my childs face as she helps them mount upon her back to carry them to school acting as both transportation and bodyguard. Her deft hands would make vehicle and mech maintenance a breeze to accoumplish. Of course we know one day our grand children or their children will lose her to old age but she would be properly honored with a ceremony and funeral pyre followed by a roast duck dinner for the entire community. Making a beautiful cloak for my family from her feathers to remember her seems the best way to say goodbye to one who gave so much.


I'm sorry all I could take away from your post is that you want to wake up to bird-man-ladies in maid outfits and helping them 'maintain proper population levels' and how you'd her cloaca and your grandchildren and arrrrrggh

I personally find it terrifying that my objections to your desires to enslave and commit atrocities upon a fellow sophont species are overshadowed by my horror at your desire to sire man-bird-man offspring.

Edited by Kaius, 22 June 2012 - 12:17 PM.


#9 Scabrous

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 12:21 PM

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#10 Magnificent Fartlord

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 12:54 PM

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*One is enough*
Edit by Hairicin

Edited by Hairicin, 24 June 2012 - 04:05 AM.


#11 fil5000

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:01 PM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 07:22 AM, said:

Greeting fellow humans it has come to my attention that the Tetatae species is in extreme danger and must be saved. The Capellans that they currently live among will surely overuse and extinguish this valuable and delicious resource, not to mention the large amounts of uncooked rice abounding in their realm that will surely lead to the involuntary combustion of many a Tetatae. I was concerned before but after going to a local chinese restaurant and seeing the insane amounts of poultry dishes listed I know we must act now to domesticate and properly harness them before it is too late.

I dream of one day waking up to my Tetatae serving my family an omelet of the highest quality and at the same time helping her species to maintain the proper population levels. After breakfast she would go out into the herb garden to make sure all of the proper seasonings for poultry are growing well. I imagine the smile on my childs face as she helps them mount upon her back to carry them to school acting as both transportation and bodyguard. Her deft hands would make vehicle and mech maintenance a breeze to accoumplish. Of course we know one day our grand children or their children will lose her to old age but she would be properly honored with a ceremony and funeral pyre followed by a roast duck dinner for the entire community. Making a beautiful cloak for my family from her feathers to remember her seems the best way to say goodbye to one who gave so much.

I implore you all to join me in the PDT "People for the Domestication of Tetatae". This is not a mercenary unit or associated with any particular faction. In fact I sincerely hope people from all factions can come together to help save this species from what I fear are their last days. If you wish to join my cause simply place the following line in your siggy.

Proud Member of the PDA - "Space ducks aren't people they're poultry"


Reported for racism. YOU MONSTER.

#12 Jukebox1986

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:12 PM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 07:22 AM, said:

Greeting fellow humans it has come to my attention that the Tetatae species is in extreme danger and must be saved. The Capellans that they currently live among will surely overuse and extinguish this valuable and delicious resource, not to mention the large amounts of uncooked rice abounding in their realm that will surely lead to the involuntary combustion of many a Tetatae. I was concerned before but after going to a local chinese restaurant and seeing the insane amounts of poultry dishes listed I know we must act now to domesticate and properly harness them before it is too late.

I dream of one day waking up to my Tetatae serving my family an omelet of the highest quality and at the same time helping her species to maintain the proper population levels. After breakfast she would go out into the herb garden to make sure all of the proper seasonings for poultry are growing well. I imagine the smile on my childs face as she helps them mount upon her back to carry them to school acting as both transportation and bodyguard. Her deft hands would make vehicle and mech maintenance a breeze to accoumplish. Of course we know one day our grand children or their children will lose her to old age but she would be properly honored with a ceremony and funeral pyre followed by a roast duck dinner for the entire community. Making a beautiful cloak for my family from her feathers to remember her seems the best way to say goodbye to one who gave so much.

I implore you all to join me in the PDT "People for the Domestication of Tetatae". This is not a mercenary unit or associated with any particular faction. In fact I sincerely hope people from all factions can come together to help save this species from what I fear are their last days. If you wish to join my cause simply place the following line in your siggy.

Proud Member of the PDA - "Space ducks aren't people they're poultry"

Made my Day! :)

#13 Hattori Hanzo Davion

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:12 PM

View PostKaius, on 22 June 2012 - 12:05 PM, said:


I'm sorry all I could take away from your post is that you want to wake up to bird-man-ladies in maid outfits and helping them 'maintain proper population levels' and how you'd her cloaca and your grandchildren and arrrrrggh

I personally find it terrifying that my objections to your desires to enslave and commit atrocities upon a fellow sophont species are overshadowed by my horror at your desire to sire man-bird-man offspring.

Come now son, we are the house d'Avion after all, if we can not commit a crime against Blake and Man before breakfast then no-one can!

Personally I intend to acquire a tetatae chick and stuff it with truffles, alâ Escoffier, it will be a feast to remember as we gobble up their planetary holdings in a similar manner.

#14 Amberlance

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:23 PM

Your death rattles shall be drowned out by squawking of the third kind.

#15 Jukebox1986

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:29 PM

Is there a Thanksgiving in the I.S.? :)
If yes, we need to save some of those poor, little, crispy, tasty... eh... :wacko:
we just have to save them. save them until the day we really need them. :)

#16 BFalcon

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 05:48 PM

View PostJanus Wealth, on 22 June 2012 - 01:29 PM, said:

Is there a Thanksgiving in the I.S.? :)
If yes, we need to save some of those poor, little, crispy, tasty... eh... :wacko:
we just have to save them. save them until the day we really need them. :blink:


Pffft... who needs Thanksgiving... just get one, cook and freeze it and you'll be set for the next year, given the size of those things.

#17 Lupine

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 05:57 PM

View PostKaius, on 22 June 2012 - 12:05 PM, said:


I'm sorry all I could take away from your post is that you want to wake up to bird-man-ladies in maid outfits and helping them 'maintain proper population levels' and how you'd her cloaca and your grandchildren and arrrrrggh

I personally find it terrifying that my objections to your desires to enslave and commit atrocities upon a fellow sophont species are overshadowed by my horror at your desire to sire man-bird-man offspring.


Sire offspring? Your referring to population control? Making her cook her own eggs is the only way to keep their growth in check. If they overbreed they will be too much competition for land and rescources and will of course end up being wiped out. Its for their own good.

View Postfil5000, on 22 June 2012 - 01:01 PM, said:


Reported for racism. YOU MONSTER.


It is speciasm? at best, not my species so cannibilism and racism don't apply silly bird. I cannot determine if I am a xenophobe for the above posts or a xenophile because I love the way they taste.

#18 Vandal

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 06:56 PM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 05:57 PM, said:


Sire offspring? Your referring to population control? Making her cook her own eggs is the only way to keep their growth in check. If they overbreed they will be too much competition for land and rescources and will of course end up being wiped out. Its for their own good.


Ah, my friend! You seem to understand very little about the grand and noble Tetatae, do not fear though, for I am your comrade and am glad to enlighten you!

All Tetatae baby chickies are hatched with an innate understanding of The Word and the destiny that The Word has assigned to them. It is for this reason that we reside within the hallowed halls of the House Of Lowtax and no other place in the Inner Sphere. It is a Divine Mandate. Captured Tetatae braves have never been broken, will never reveal information, will never bow to the torture of tyrants. The Word is a shield from which we derive our strength, I pity those that might be ignorant of The Word. The SQUAWK of the noble brave under interrogation is a SQUAWK of defiance.

You seem to be operating under the assumption that the Tetatae female would be a docile servant, and again my friend, you need not worry for I will teach you the truth! The Tetatae female is the Tetatae Brave, our noble warriors and the largest of all our kind. She'll have the toughest beak to boot, sharpened on the bones and flesh of the heretics who refuse to comprehend The Word. Strong enough to cut through reinforced 'mech armor, the Tetatae Brave has very little to fear. I hate to shatter your dream, my friend, I too wish for an Inner Sphere where Tetatae and Human stand side by side, but this will never be achieved through slavery. Our kind have been enslaved once, and with The Mitanni's grace it will never happen again.

If you truely wish to see peaceful cooperation, comrade, come take a look at the Glorious People's Communist Confederation of the Capellan State some time, we always welcome visitors, and I'm sure one look at our integrated populations will show you that is entirely possible to have man and bird live in total harmony and unity. As it stands now I am very afraid that your 'docile' captured Tetatae Brave would simply tear your family apart and feast on their entrails, as we would have feasted upon the juicy grub worm native to our planet. Many a Federated Suns infantryman has met a similar fate after attempting to subdue a brave that they have underestimated, I'm afraid it is quite hard to calm them down after they get the battle-lust rushing through their veins.

Enough talk about unfortunate realities and dark pasts though, my best friend! We have bright futures to look forward to! Us Tetatae are very intelligent, we can pick up new languages faster than your master linguists! We have a stronger grasp of your human technology, able to take complex mechanics apart and repair them with speeds that some of my comrades in the GPCCCS have called 'mind-blowing', I think that is the word. Our Braves are strong and noble and have the highest and most majestic headcrests, real beauties if you are to be catching my drift, comrade. Our Mechwarriors are able to operate their DIVINE GREAT BIRD BATTLEMECHS with technique and adeptness that far surpasses more experienced human elites. Our avian brains are larger and our muscled limb parts plain faster and more agile than the average human. You see now that there is nothing to fear from the Tetatae, my most honored of best-loved comrades! One day we will live side by side, hand in wing, marching together throughout an Inner Sphere rendered calm by total peace. The Word dictates it so, and The Word is law. All will understand The Word. Those who refuse The Word will be thrown to the Holy Fires Of Judgment And Righteous Fury. Give no quarter to the Heretic Human, give no quarter to the Traitor Tetatae, give only the aid of the swift death to those who remain blind to the Light Of Lowtax. As it says in The Word, amen.

I am very glad to be teaching you about the Tetatae, my closest of brothers! I hope you will see how great it is to be a man and a tetatae who are the best of friends like a 'buddy cop movie'! It is a great feeling, is it not?

MESSAGE PAID FOR BY THE GLORIOUS PEOPLE'S COMMUNIST CONFEDERATION OF THE CAPELLAN STATE, TETATAE-HUMAN RELATIONS LEAGUE UNION.

#19 Halfinax

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 07:18 PM

View PostLupine, on 22 June 2012 - 05:57 PM, said:


Sire offspring? Your referring to population control? Making her cook her own eggs is the only way to keep their growth in check. If they overbreed they will be too much competition for land and rescources and will of course end up being wiped out. Its for their own good.



It is speciasm? at best, not my species so cannibilism and racism don't apply silly bird. I cannot determine if I am a xenophobe for the above posts or a xenophile because I love the way they taste.


Dear Child of the Better Star League, the noble Tetatea are more than just another species of the Better Star League. They are in fact our equal brethern in ensuring peace for all of the universe. What you and your ilk propose to do to them you propose to do to all citizens of the Better Star League. When you disparage a noble Tetatea member you only disparage yourself. You must turn the other cheek and not just accept, but embrace your winged brethren. We are all equal in the infinitely wise eyes of our Great Lord the Mittani. If you shame any denizens of this universe you shame not only Him, but all members of the known universe, including yourself.

Do not disparage, you are a child of the Mittani, and he will forgive you for your ineptitude if you but ask. Seek his forgiveness and be repentant for the Word of Lowtax, to which he is the bearer, shall bring true enlightenment and eternal peace to your chaotic life.

Edited by Halfinax, 22 June 2012 - 07:23 PM.


#20 rilianv

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Posted 22 June 2012 - 07:49 PM

Is it Tetatae season yet? Or is it still Rabbit season





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