307 replies to this topic

[Captain Red Shirt]

210. I will not install hydraulics on my mech

211. I will not commit mechception.
211a. I will not put a smaller mech in what appears to be a larger mech just so I can pop out of it alien style.

212. I will not install DosBox in my Daishi just to make the original Mechwarrior game my interface.
212a. Nor will I do this for any of my lance mates, especially without telling them.
212b. Nor will I create a virus to do this to all mechs in existence, that is just outright silly.

213. I am not allowed to eBay my mech.
213a. Nor my lancemates' mechs.
213b. Especially if I don't put a reserve on it.
213c. Nor will I start it at $0.01 bid and a $5 buyout. With free shipping.

214. I will not to 213 except with Craigslist.

215. I will not invert my mech's controls.

216. I will not invert the control of my lancemates' mechs.
216a. Especially if I don't tell them.
216b. Especially if we're about to go into battle.

217. I will not be in charge of mission code names again (feel free to have fun with that one)

Edited by Captain Red Shirt, 06 March 2012 - 04:19 PM.

[Michael Rosario]

218. I am not allowed to ask a member of Hanson's Rough Riders if they're compensating for something.

219. Nor am I allowed to ask a clanner if they're so uptight because their mommies didn't tuck them in when they were little.
219.a. Not even if my commanding officer thinks it is hilarious.
219.b. Especially not in the middle of peace negotiations with the clan said clanner belongs to.

220. The Coordinator does not have a tattoo of Hello Kitty covering the entire chest area. I am not allowed to spread rumors stating such.
220.a. Even if I'm drunk at the time.
220.b. Especially if I'm drunk at the time.
220.c. And never when hanging out in Solaris VII.

221. Nor is the tattoo of Pikachu, Astroboy, or Totoro. There is no tattoo, people.

222. I am not allowed to state that Omi Kurita is a "wildcat in bed".
222.a. Especially to Victor Steiner-Davion.
222.b. Even if they did end up hooking up in the end.

*EDIT IN - Additional Rules*
223. I am not allowed to strap a large ER-Laser between the legs of my Atlas and fire it off whenever someone mentions Omi Kurita.

224. I am not allowed to punctuate every clan kill I make with the words "who's your daddy"?

225. I am not allowed to tell Academy graduates that my mech is actually the clone of an alien species created to stop others of that alien species from starting the Third Impact.
225.a. Even if I'm driving a Tenshi.
225.b. And listening to Cruel Angel's Thesis
225.c. Not even if I'm drunk at the time.

226. I am not allowed to call clanners Jango, Boba, the Grand Army of the Republic, Clone Troopers, or Dolly.
226.a. Refer to (219.a.) and (219.b.)

Edited by Michael Rosario, 07 March 2012 - 11:07 PM.

[Charles Martel]

227. I am not allowed to refer to combat engagements against the Smoke Jaguars as "Going to smoke a J"
227a. Nor refer to combat against the Jade Falcons as "The Big Green Turkey Shoot"
227b. Nor refer to combat against Clan Wolf as "Puppy Gelding"
227c. Nor refer to combat against the Ghost Bears as "Ghostbusting".
227d. Nor refer to combat against The FedSuns as "Sundowning"
227e. Nor refer to combat against the Lyran Commonwealth as "Fist Bumping".

228. I am not allowed to call "dibs" on an enemy mech salvage before the engagement is over.
228a. Even if it is a Marauder IIC
228b. If it's a LAM, I will anyway.

229. I am not allowed to send Hanse Davion postcards from Quentin.
229a. Especially if they say "Wish you were here huh?"

230. I am not allowed to ask a clan female trueborn if mech piloting skills are all they genetically enhanced.
230a. Especially if she's the Khan of the clan we're negotiating with.

Edited by Charles Martel, 17 March 2012 - 08:29 PM.

[Sheogorath]

I am no longer allowed to have a mini sake bar in my mech's cockpit (even if it is a full head ejection system)

I must not play "No Place For Disgrace" by Flotsam & Jetsam over the loudspeaker at all times.

I am not allowed to walk up to an atlas and kick it in the gyro and expect it to double over (especially if I am not piloting an assault mech)

I am definately not allowed to challenge any clan warrior to a trial of grievence and then insist we resolve it playing mechwarrior 2.

I am no longer allowed allowed to call my Shadow Hawk "Dougram"

[Armored Yokai]

things im not allowed to do in DCMS
231)undress completely paint my self the color of a streak srm missile and launch my self from my mech to the coordinators daughter
Saying : im streaking like a Streak SRM 2!!!!!!
232)plunge my mechs fist in to another mechs cockpit and rip out the pilot saying fatality while playing mk music

Edited by Cementblade, 17 March 2012 - 06:39 PM.

[Charles Martel]

233. I am not allowed to talk about fight club.

234. I am not allowed to tell cadets that my LAM was the result of reverse engineering alien technology from an alien starship that crashed.

235. I am not allowed to spam Cranston Snord with classic anime.
235a. Not even if it's classic hentai.

[LordDeathStrike]

well unfortunately since they saw my face and got a scan of me last time, im no longer allowed into the DCMS to assassinate high ranking officials, leaders, and future candidates for leaders. damn facial recognition systems! damn face thats too awesome to mess with just to get past them!

[Belial]

236) I am not allowed to tell my children that if they misbehave, Clanners will come after them.

237) I am not allowed to take Omi to a stir-fry place run by Rasalhague spies.
237a) Not that I could take her out to dinner anyway. Please forget I asked, sir, and leave my family alone.

238) I am not allowed to replace all local and ComStar media traffic with marathons from the Anime Network.

239) I am not allowed to refer to a 'Mech's heat spike as its "power level"
239a) Especially if it's a 'Mech holding a sword.
239b) Nor refer to such 'Mechs as "silly-looking."

240) I am not allowed to have my Atlas's head spring up like a jack-in-the-box after strange music plays during a battle.
240a) Nor fit a giant tiki mask onto said Atlas's face

[LordDeathStrike]

point out that in the 31st century everyone in the DCMS subsists on a diet of maruchan "soilent green" ramen

[Charles Martel]

241. I am not allowed to give Unreal Tournament style commentary to my combat performance over open comms.
241a. Even if I am on a killing streak.

242. I am not allowed to yell "Headshot!" when I cockpit hit another mech with my Marauder's gauss rifle.

[Polymorphyne]

243. Infantry kills do NOT count towards monster kills.
243a. Even though you are a monster yourself for tallying kills like that.
243b. Though being Draconis Scum, your kinda a monster anyway.
244. You are not allowed to tie a large headband with japanese writing on it around the head of your atlas.
245. Ramming your Jenner into an enemy dropship and overloading its fusion reactor while screaming "Kamikaze" is not a valid tactic.
246. You are not permitted to play innessant, annoying ***-pop music through your mechs speakers, even if it is an admittadly effective form of psychological warfare.
247- You are not allowed to paint a cute anime face on your atlas. Shame on you for trying.
248- You are not allowed to wear a schoolgirl outfit in lieu of your DCMS uniform.

[Elektrik]

...and the craptastic comments keep on coming....

[Michael Rosario]

249. I am not allowed to name my mech after a transformers character.
249.a. Not even if I am piloting a LAM.
249.b. Not even if my commanding officer tells me to so that when we loose a battle, he can shout at me: "Starscream, you have failed me again!"
249.c. Nor am I allowed to reply to the above statement with : "I'm sorry, lord Megatron."

250. I am not allowed to explain my nasal hemorrhaging to my commanding officer with the words "Omi Kurita".

251. I am not allowed to declare war on the house Steiner because I hated the game Galerians.
251.a. Even if my commanding officer agrees with me.
251.b. And even if I could run circles around even their scouting lances.
251.b.I. I mean seriously... Atlases?
251.b.II. How the devil does using assault mechs for everything under the sun translate into sounding like a good idea?

[Polymorphyne]

Quote

...and the craptastic comments keep on coming....

Get over it Elektrik.

[Alexander Fury]

Michael Rosario, on 19 March 2012 - 11:27 PM, said:

249. I am not allowed to name my mech after a transformers character. 249.a. Not even if I am piloting a LAM. 249.b. Not even if my commanding officer tells me to so that when we loose a battle, he can shout at me: "Starscream, you have failed me again!" 249.c. Nor am I allowed to reply to the above statement with : "I'm sorry, lord Megatron." 250. I am not allowed to explain my nasal hemorrhaging to my commanding officer with the words "Omi Kurita". 251. I am not allowed to declare war on the house Steiner because I hated the game Galerians. 251.a. Even if my commanding officer agrees with me. 251.b. And even if I could run circles around even their scouting lances. 251.b.I. I mean seriously... Atlases? 251.b.II. How the devil does using assault mechs for everything under the sun translate into sounding like a good idea?

I've been calling my Axeman ''Optimus'' for years....screw 249!!!

[Talisaerin]

Alexander Fury, on 20 March 2012 - 12:45 AM, said:

I've been calling my Axeman ''Optimus'' for years....screw 249!!!

I second the screwing of 249. What better name for a Jenner doing recon than "Soundwave"? Or if it's a Raven: "Lazerbeak"

Edited by corvimort, 20 March 2012 - 08:40 AM.

[Hayashi]

Longsword, on 19 March 2012 - 01:41 AM, said:

243. Infantry kills do NOT count towards monster kills.
243a. Even though you are a monster yourself for tallying kills like that.
243b. Though being Draconis Scum, your kinda a monster anyway.
244. You are not allowed to tie a large headband with japanese writing on it around the head of your atlas.
245. Ramming your Jenner into an enemy dropship and overloading its fusion reactor while screaming "Kamikaze" is not a valid tactic.
246. You are not permitted to play innessant, annoying ***-pop music through your mechs speakers, even if it is an admittadly effective form of psychological warfare.
247- You are not allowed to paint a cute anime face on your atlas. Shame on you for trying.
248- You are not allowed to wear a schoolgirl outfit in lieu of your DCMS uniform.

Someone here's posting in the wrong house.

243. I am not allowed to silence the blasphemer through wanton application of brute force.

[Gozer]

I'm no longer allowed to pick up lamp posts and use them as swords.
Or Trees
Or Telephone poles
Or Power Poles
Or pipe
Or Girders

[Skylarr]

249 - Your not allowed to ask the Arkab Legion member were the pig roast is.

[80sGlamRockSensation David Bowie]

250 - I am no longer allowed to commit seppuku with my Hatamoto-chi after a "tactical retreat", then ask where the repair bay is...

Edited by mwhighlander, 25 March 2012 - 07:06 PM.