307 replies to this topic

[JP Josh]

im no longer allowed to get drunk grab a elemental and hump the barracks washing machine for bet Money.

[Thom Frankfurt]

Switch out the Coordinator's sushi for quillar and jelly sandwiches...

Ask if Teddy Kurita really does sleep with a teddy bear.

Ask Takashi how Yorinaga is doing.

Show up at Takashi's birthday celebration wearing a I heart mercenaries T-shirt.

[Elektrik]

Longsword, on 20 March 2012 - 12:00 AM, said:

Get over it Elektrik.

Oh I'm not bugged at all-in fact, it shows how foolish you are for posting in the WRONG thread in the WRONG forum-it's actually quite amusing. If you're as skilled as you are intelligent, wiping the floor with you guys should be that much more fun! :-)

[Captain Red Shirt]

I am not allowed to disable my lance mates' heat sinks.
Even if it is to teach them a lesson.
Seriously who maxes out heat sinks and almost shuts the core down with an alpha strike.
I am not allowed to create a virus that when spread through the com systems will cause all other mechs to have their heat sinks malfunction but not show it.
In fact, I am no longer allowed to go near a heat sink let alone see or talk about them.

I will not stream battles live.

I will not miss out on the team chat on the battlefield right before combat and suddenly charge, even if I really need those parts off the enemy mech.

[Morr]

260. I am not allowed to Ask for "Hazard Pay".

261. I am No longer allowed to Name my Awesome "Rodan"
261a.-Nor are any of the Merc company i lead to name their mechs after a Toho monster.
261b.-Nor are we allowed to name them after Gundam suits.
261c.-Nor are we allowed to Watch Toho monster Movies for movie night with our techs.
261d.-Nor are we allowed to make Monster Noises while Attacking a city.

262. I am not allowed to "Have Fun" on the battle field....

and people wonder why i don't work for the DCMS.

Edited by Morr, 01 April 2012 - 02:08 PM.

[Belial]

263) Use ComStar's resources to order take-out for the entire regiment.

264) Bribe call-girls for a mid-mission "break time."

265) Get paid at the end of my contract.

266) Quote Confucius during pre-battle meetings.

[Morr]

(Pst Hey Fed. I don't think they like you here. you might want to run while you still can!)

267. Warn a FedSuns of the Impending attack.

[Michael Rosario]

268. I am no longer allowed to scream "And I'll form the head!" when DFA-ing an opponent's mech.
268.a. Even if my lancemates think it's hilarious.
268.b. Even if my enemies think it's hilarious.

269. I am not allowed to yell "this'll teach ya for that bird poo on my windshield" right before blasting a jade falcon mech.
269.a. Nor am I allowed to ask a jade falcon mechwarrior if he'll "fly a message" to any of my friends.
269.b. Apparently, I'm no longer allowed to refer to the jade falcons as the "big green pidgeons" anymore.

270. I am not allowed to ask why it is called "Operation Bulldog" when "we are, in fact, attacking a bunch of trumped up cats".

271. I am not allowed to trample a tomato farm and then scrape the residue off my AWS-8R after battle, just so I can "have a pizza made with awesome sauce."

[Iron Horse]

272. Tell my CO I just finished jumping his mom's "la-grange points."

273. Hot drop with Leroy Jenkins ever again.

273. Insert subliminal messages to ComStar in all of my HPG transmissions.

274. Lock my 'mech in drive and get out and "surf" on the canopy glass while playing "Wipeout" on the external speakers.

275. Try to convince people that I can see a gremlin out of our dropship's porthole.

276. Every time I get a new enemy 'mech contact shout, "his power-level's over 9000!"

Edited by Iron Horse, 03 April 2012 - 12:55 AM.

[Steinar Bergstol]

277. I'm not allowed to tell the company Firestarter pilot to guard the fireworks stockpile for the Coordinator's birthday celebration.

[Michael Rosario]

278. I am not allowed to disable the ammo and heat readouts on a particularly annoying lance mate's mech and then tell him that he just got upgraded with a secret new lost-tech system called NHUA.
278.a. Even if it would be hilarious to see him believe that and blow his mech up with a giant alpha strike.
278.b. Even if my commander... and lance... and company... and enemies... think it's hilarious.

[Charles Martel]

279. I am not allowed to return a clan mechwarrior's hubris by calling them "micronian".
279.a. Not even if I'm piloting a Marauder

280. I am not allowed to yell "Kill it with fire!" over open coms when attacking a target with a flamer.

281. I am not allowed to taunt opponents by saying "Can you hear me now?" each time I hit their rear armor with a heavy ballistic weapon (i.e. AC/20, UAC/20, Gauss, Heavy Gauss, Long Tom Cannon)

281. I am not allowed to call my Warhammer Whamhammer.

Edited by Charles Martel, 06 April 2012 - 10:45 PM.

[80sGlamRockSensation David Bowie]

Someone needs to make a printout of these...

...or a book

[Charles Martel]

282. I am not allowed to name my pet rabbit "Lord Purina".
282.a. Said rabbit is not a baseball player.
282.b. Said rabbit does not pilot a Bunnymaster.
282.c. Said rabbit is not trying to salvage a cran-tech aluminum baseball bat.

[VPrime]

Belial, on 18 December 2011 - 07:09 PM, said:

19) Swat at aerospace fighters with said sword and call it "pest control"

what about "Swat at aerospace fighters with said sword and call it 'Pesht Control'."

[Charles Martel]

VPrime, on 08 April 2012 - 09:10 PM, said:

what about "Swat at aerospace fighters with said sword and call it 'Pesht Control'."

.........I don't know which is worse, Davion foreign policy, or Davion puns. Besides, you missed punday night by a few hours.

[Steinar Bergstol]

I would facepalm at that pun, but as members of the DCMS we are expected to endure puns with stoic dignity. It developes character and gives us something to remember whenever we think shooting Federated Suns captives in the head as a matter of policy might _not_ be a good idea. Remember, sons of the Dragon, if you don't shoot him he may inflict puns on you for your mercy.

Edited by Steinar Bergstol, 11 April 2012 - 05:07 PM.

[guardian wolf]

283) Try to challenge a Dragoon with a callsign of Gurdian Wolf against my unit
283 a) even if he has been fighting for sometime
283b) especially if he has his Warhammer "Wolf Fang", or his new Atlas "Hell Fist"
284) I'm not allowed to **** off the Dragoons in any manner, especially if there is a Hell Jumpers unit nearby

Edited by guardian wolf, 12 April 2012 - 11:58 AM.

[Michael Rosario]

Oh, look, the merc wants to play.

That being said, things I'm no longer allowed to do in the DCMS:

285. Allow bombastic mercenaries like the one above to live.
285.a. No, seriously. It's in the rules and everything.
285.b. Apparently we don't like mercs or something.

[guardian wolf]

Bahahaha, challenge accepted

286) Ask a drac who he hates more, Davions, or mercs
286a) If you see dracs yell "GUN!!!"
286b) let them leave an area nearby his location unscathed