307 replies to this topic

[rilianv]

Damion Sparhawk, on 06 July 2012 - 08:08 PM, said:

trip the commander's Atlas >.>

this applies to any mech your commander pilots. i should know. i tripped one commanders jenner, one commanders dragon, and one commanders atlas. probably why i kept getting past up for promotion.

I assume this also applies to all the other major houses.

[Raizo Nishizawa]

I am no longer allowed in the DCMS to:

1. Use DCMS Jumpship priority courier service to smuggle shochu to myself.
1a. Use my Tai-i's name on the packages and get busted.
2. Wire my cockpit to accomodate hot pot for cup noodle.
2a. Start cooking cup noodle 10 minutes before any operations.
3. Point random people out to 新米 shinmai (rookies) as ISF informants.
3a. Tell same random people the 新米 shinmai are ISF informants.
4. Wire random sound effects into my external vox speakers.
4a. Wire "Hadoken!" to the PPC triggers or "Schwach!" to the jump jets.
5. Pull retention pin from my Tai-i's katana and rewrap handle.
5a. Forget I did so when he attempts to pull blade for daily inspection.
6. Fire my PPCs into lakes or ponds to create hot baths.
6a. Stash bath oil, sake, and onsen tamago in my cockpit in conjunction with (6).
7. Set up a mahjong table with my 3 lancemates on-world during campaign.
7a. Circumvent this by rigging the game over the C4I network.
8. Hang excessive numbers of Shinto protection talismans in my cockpit.
8a. Fuzzy dice and stuffed animals are not Shinto protection talismans.
9. Leave my cockpit during training exercises to cook.
9a. Get busted outside my cockpit roasting yams in dried leaves with my lancemates.
10. Rewire anything in anyone else's cockpit.
10a. Rewire my Tai-i's ejection seat to go off when he broadcasts on open channel.
11. Speak out of turn during operations briefings.
11a. Ever saying: "Why us?" "Not again" or "Why not put the gaijin up front?"
12. Refer to any mission as "Our last mission together".
12a. We are not a "Special Attack Unit" (see 11, 11a, 12).

My life may be for the Combine, but I still need 3 more people for mahjong.

[SOGNeon]

rilianv, on 06 July 2012 - 08:02 PM, said:

Don't send ones of Isis Marik, Kali Liao, Candice Allard Liao, Marthe Pryde, Diana Pryde or Omi Kurita either. and dont send them to the Capellan Confederation, clans, or the Rasalhague Republic either.

apparently I can not go to a printing shop without ISF checking on me either... inquire with one or two shop owners about making a "ladies of the inner sphere" calendar, and you get messages from the ISF saying no you can not do that either.

[Damion Sparhawk]

SOGNeon, on 07 July 2012 - 12:23 PM, said:

apparently I can not go to a printing shop without ISF checking on me either... inquire with one or two shop owners about making a "ladies of the inner sphere" calendar, and you get messages from the ISF saying no you can not do that either.

-making- a 'ladies of the inner sphere' calendar featuring a) lance mates commanding officers or c) any member of the house Kurita (or any house we're allied with at the moment, unless it can be released anonymously)

[SOGNeon]

why did I not think of this???

6. Fire my PPCs into lakes or ponds to create hot baths.
6a. Stash bath oil, sake, and onsen tamago in my cockpit in conjunction with (6)

<stashes small case with "personal survival" supplies in the cockpit next to the bento case before going on training maneuvers>

(seriously you know at some point, I am going to be standing next to a body of water on a map firing my lasers into it, and use the hot bath excuse when a lancemate asks me what I am doing... I will just wish I could see the look on their face when i do)

[rilianv]

SOGNeon, on 07 July 2012 - 03:24 PM, said:

0

6. Fire my PPCs into lakes or ponds to create hot baths.
6a. Stash bath oil, sake, and onsen tamago in my cockpit in conjunction with (6)

I am no longer allowed near any pool of water big enough to become a hot bath.
a. if planet is mostly water, then i'm confined to the drop ship for the remainder of duty on that planet

[fluffypinkbunny]

No longer allowed to wear my Hot pink Kimono to any social gathering.

No longer allowed to paint my mech in Geisha makeup

No longer allowed to host a tea ceremony with the enemy lance.

I'm no longer to take my mech on a ninja warrior challenge.

[Snowcaller]

In the DCMS I am no longer allowed to...

Shout "Ippon!" when i hit a scout mech with 1,2 PPC combo.

Paint "DOJO" over my mech hanger's doors.

Scream "yyyYYYY-Yuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tuh!" over comms during hand to hand combat.

DFA scout mechs in order to pick them up and kick them into other mechs.

When in mid-air, post ejection, insert coins into my control panel while thinking it will somehow help.

Ignore my orders, hoping for Super Orders Hyper Edition.

[Snowcaller]

fluffypinkbunny, on 15 July 2012 - 11:38 AM, said:

No longer allowed to wear my Hot pink Kimono to any social gathering.

No longer allowed to paint my mech in Geisha makeup

No longer allowed to host a tea ceremony with the enemy lance.

I'm no longer to take my mech on a ninja warrior challenge.

You're also not allowed to be late for battle because it took you an hour to make a cup of tea.

[fluffypinkbunny]

what

Snowcaller, on 15 July 2012 - 12:31 PM, said:

You're also not allowed to be late for battle because it took you an hour to make a cup of tea.

What about how long it takes to put on my make up, my under kimono, my kimono, my obi, outer obi, do my hair, and Then make the tea?

[rilianv]

fluffypinkbunny, on 16 July 2012 - 10:15 PM, said:

what

What about how long it takes to put on my make up, my under kimono, my kimono, my obi, outer obi, do my hair, and Then make the tea?

still not acceptable. if you're not in your cooling vest and shorts within 3 minutes, then you'll be forced into comitting seppuku if your unit survives

[guardian wolf]

So anyway, I was comin' around the planet at just a hair under lightspeed when... oh ****, wrong place PULL BACK, PULL BACK NOW!!!!


(Heres a good one I just thought I would let you in on, as a former DCMS member IRL told me.)

I am no longer allowed to turn the commanders chair into a toilet, and when I flush, say I was "doing a coolant flush".

[Darius Otsdarva]

1.Use Electronic Warfare to stream To Love Ru on all enemy displays (and allies because they want to) to demoralise and reduce their fighting spirit.

2. Swap my Catapult's LRM racks with loudspeakers on dress marches and frighten people with awesome theme music as we march by.

3. After brawling with a team full of Atlas'/ Atlae? on my centurion complain to my company commander "Dude I'm just a torso."

4. Flush 'coolant' into the prisoners quarters because they needed a bath.

5. Overuse the line "Believe in me in that believes in you" on ground troops manning an SRM battery. (They are screwed anyway.)

6.Say "You get more than what you payed for with me", when scamming other pilots into buying parts of dubious origin.

7. Shout "Master Spark!!" on the mech loudspeakers when firing my PPCs into opposing mechs.

8. Scream "it's over 9000" when viewing Mechs on thermal vision.

9. Call a chainsaw attack a kick. (once close combat comes in )

10. Paint my Mech red all over and call it a custom. (It goes 3x faster than the stock model you know?)

Kudos if you know all the references!

[Feiro]

I'm no longer allowed to tell my lance to hold their fire while any LAM unit transforms.

Also not allow to be over dramatic about it, nor play any type of blood pumping music, or try to attempt to do a combination moves with any Mech and Kanazuchi battle armor, let alone any other battle armors, Diffidently Elementals our out of the question.

[Damion Sparhawk]

I'm no longer allowed to try and cram urbanmechs into the cockpit of Atlas mechs yelling 'manly combining!'

[DarkF8]

DocBach, on 21 November 2011 - 08:10 PM, said:

LOL, this one reminds me of something I did in real life - in Iraq I was the driver for my platoon leader and a couple of missions he'd want to drive so I'd be the Truck Commander, meaning I had the Blue Force Tracker/FBCB2 Computer. You can see pretty much every vehicle in Iraq on a map overlay and select it to see information about it, or send them messages. I'd get bored and send messages to random units across the country asking them "A/S/L"

hahahah I used to do that when I was in Mosul!

[DarkF8]

1. No longer allowed to rapid fire PPC's into the sky in order to cook noodles on the heat sinks.
2. No longer allowed to rapid fire PPC's and then walk my Maruader into the Battalion Koi pond, in order to have a hottub party with the Girls from Samarkand U. Now it's a battalion function.
3. No longer allowed to serve boiled Koi at Battalion hot pond parties.
4. No longer allowed to invite the Tai-i's sister to Battalion hot pond parties.
5. no longer allowed to have Battlalion Hot pond parties.

[rilianv]

DarkF8, on 06 August 2012 - 01:28 AM, said:

1. No longer allowed to rapid fire PPC's into the sky in order to cook noodles on the heat sinks.
2. No longer allowed to rapid fire PPC's and then walk my Maruader into the Battalion Koi pond, in order to have a hottub party with the Girls from Samarkand U. Now it's a battalion function.
3. No longer allowed to serve boiled Koi at Battalion hot pond parties.
4. No longer allowed to invite the Tai-i's sister to Battalion hot pond parties.
5. no longer allowed to have Battlalion Hot pond parties.

replace Tai-i's sister with the coordinators daughter

[Captain Red Shirt]

It's been a while since I've been back to this thread, haven't fully caught up so apologies for the lazyness if these match anyone else's earlier

I am no longer allowed to outfit a mech entirely with machine guns and one small laser as "back up."
I am no longer allowed to outfit my commander's atlas entirely with machine guns and forget the ammo.
Not even if I do remember the ammo.
Nor am I allowed to change its code name to "Still needs more dakka"

I am not allowed to convince everyone in the upcoming battle to use a Jenner.
Nor will I outfit any mech of mine with only missle pods, machine guns and one gauss rifle, especially if it wasn't designed for such. (spot the reference)

[Assiah]

I am no longer allowed to question the sexuality of more regular units for not allowing women to join.
I am no longer allowed to hire a sushi chef to sit in my cockpit and make me snacks.
Even if it is a long campaign.
Theodore Kurita is NOT my drinking buddy.
I am no longer allowed to run illegitimate businesses while on duty.
Nor am I allowed to run illegitimate businesses while off duty
Even if it helps fund my unit.
I am no longer allowed to paint graphic irezumi on my mech detailing my "exploits in the art of love"
I am not sufficient enough rank in my clan to demand new recruits commit yubitsume for not listening to me
I am no longer allowed to try to snipe with my CN9-AH's AC/20
I am no longer allowed to claim the possessions of a fallen warrior
Especially right after he dies
Even if I do need a new pair of boots