88 replies to this topic

[Felicitatem Parco]

Some say that Kerensky once had a nightmare about Chuck Norris... it was the night of July 7th, 2784.

Edited by Prosperity Park, 28 December 2011 - 12:06 PM.

[FACEman Peck]

Kevin Kirov, on 14 December 2011 - 02:26 PM, said:

I have a word document with 27 pages of these somewhere.

Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richter Scale.

Chuck Norris can move faster than the speed of ligiht, this mean if you turn on the light switch, you would be dead before the light comes on.

1) Where did you get 27 pages of Chuck Norris?
2) Awesome Richter thing.
3) Speed pf light thing, that made me laugh so much, dying in the dark--story of my life

Edited by FACEman Peck, 28 December 2011 - 08:38 PM.

[Lightfoot]

Redbear6, on 14 December 2011 - 11:11 AM, said:

When the Boogyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Bruce Lee.

Edited by Lightfoot, 28 December 2011 - 08:50 PM.

[Rhinehart]

Chuck Norris knows Five Thousand Three hundred and Seven different ways to kill you.


Sarah Conner(Terminator) knows Five Thousand Three hundred and Seven ways to kill you...and then she'll make pancakes.

or

Chuck Norris knows Five Thousand Three hundred and Seven different ways to kill you.


Clint Eastwood knows one. It's enough.

"Do you feel lucky? Well, do yah Punk?"

Edited by Rhinehart, 28 December 2011 - 08:57 PM.

[FireNova]

Victor Steiner Davion didn't die in the Dark Ages storyline because he uncovered some conspiracy plot within the Republic of the Sphere, rather, it was because Chuck Norris came to 'collect payment' for letting Victor borrow his invincible godlike powers.

Edited by FireNova, 29 December 2011 - 01:15 AM.

[FireNova]

Paul Moon lived longer than Nicholas Kerensky in the Dark Age storyline because Chuck Norris allowed it to be so.

Edited by FireNova, 29 December 2011 - 01:31 AM.

[FireNova]

Chuck Norris is the REAL reason Aleksandr Kerensky and 80% of the SLDF left the Inner Sphere.

[Caballo]

Chuck Norris impregnated a woman by pointing at her with his index and saying "D I C K"

[Felicitatem Parco]

Reactors explode when Chuck Norris thinks critically.

[KingCobra]

Why cant Chucky Norris have kids? Becouse he scrambled his own eggs doing a roundhouse kick.

[Felicitatem Parco]

The Stig's only natural enemy is Chuck Norris.

[Karn Evil]

KingCobra, on 29 December 2011 - 11:17 AM, said:

Why cant Chucky Norris have kids? Becouse he scrambled his own eggs doing a roundhouse kick.

Which leads to the rather disturbing implication that Chuck Norris has ovaries.

[Strayed]

Chuck Norris once beat a Clan Galaxy with just the fist in his beard.

[FireNova]

The Fourth Succession War is, in actuality, the result when Chuck Norris decides hes had enough of seeing 'Capellan green' on the Inner Sphere map. (With Chuck Norris showing mercy only after numerous mech sacrifices by the Capellans to honor him.)

[FireNova]

The Nova Cats once had a 'vision' that Chuck Norris would one day arrive in the Clan Homeworlds. The Cats have been hiding in the Draconis Combine ever since. Turns out they were right (Wars of Reaving).

[Rhinehart]

The Ares Conventions were actually designed not to reign in the destruction of technology, but the destruction caused by Chuck Norris.

He didn't sign them.

Thus, they failed.

[FireNova]

Chuck Norris is the REAL reason why few people go into the Deep Periphery.

[FireNova]

HyperPulse Generator (HPG) messages sent by Chuck Norris arrive the moment he thinks about one.

[Felicitatem Parco]

Devlin Stone made Chuck Norris angry once.


Once.

[Strayed]

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris firing a UZI. He doesn't aim, he just thinks where he wants the bullets to go and they do it.

Edited by Strayed, 30 December 2011 - 02:25 AM.