44 replies to this topic

[Johnny Z]

Oh look my team is playing survival of the chickenest again.





Much mech.
So missiles.

Edited by Johnny Z, 09 July 2015 - 07:32 AM.

[Rhaythe]

I kept this link for a rainy day: How NOT to play MWO - http://mwomercs.com/...ot-to-play-mwo/

[MoonUnitBeta]

[DONTOR]

Juodas Varnas, on 09 July 2015 - 06:25 AM, said:

You guys, really have a knack at making your mechs ugly.

Said the is pilot, while piloting a kintaro...

[Juodas Varnas]

DONTOR, on 09 July 2015 - 09:13 AM, said:

Said the is pilot, while piloting a kintaro...

Touché
Though, that's definitely not the "iconic" ugly mech, people usually refer to, like maybe the Yeoman.

Spoiler

Edited by Juodas Varnas, 09 July 2015 - 09:15 AM.

[GonaDie]

Yo mama so dumb, she thinks that ''Mad Cat'' is how you call your pet.
Yo mama so fat, that even an Atlas can't lift her.
Yo mama so ugly, that clanners don't wan't to have moms anymore.

Edited by GonaDie, 09 July 2015 - 09:31 AM.

[Foxfire kadrpg]

Hearing a sudden cry, an Atlas awakes from its slumber and rushes into a nearby hanger, where his Highlander friend is obviously distressed.

Atlas: "Are you ok, there, pal?"

Highlander: "I just had this horrible nightmare-"

Atlas: "Was it the one where you've got wings, but you can't fly?"

Highlander:".... we're not friends anymore."

[DaZur]

cdlord, on 09 July 2015 - 05:36 AM, said:

I used to be a scout mech till I took a LRM to the knee actuator.

tsk...tsk...tsk... Old and played out is no way to go.

[DONTOR]

DaZur, on 09 July 2015 - 11:18 AM, said:

tsk...tsk...tsk... Old and played out is no way to go.

Oldie but a goodie, except that he forgot its an Arrow IV, not LRM

[CDLord HHGD]

DONTOR, on 09 July 2015 - 11:22 AM, said:

Oldie but a goodie, except that he forgot its an Arrow IV, not LRM

LRMs are OP though don't you know?

[LordKnightFandragon]

cdlord, on 09 July 2015 - 11:30 AM, said:

LRMs are OP though don't you know?

Definitely not anymore....

If your bad enough for LRM to be OP, your so new that your no scout.....

[ShadowWolf Kell]

What do you call clearing a city of Urbanmechs?
An easter egg hunt.


What do you call the refurbishing of an Urbanmech?
Changing the trash bag.



What do Davions call raids into Liao territory?
A little takeout!


The Captain-General of the Free Worlds League walks into a bar resulting in the speaker filing an immediate lawsuit against him for damaging Parliament's property. The opposition claims it a crime worthy of dismissal.


How many Davions does it take to change a lightbulb? Just 1. Everyone else is off conquering the CapCom.


How many Steiners does it take to a change a lightbulb? 2. The CO to do it, and his XO to go back behind him and do it right.


How many Kuritas does it take to a change a lightbulb? 0. They are honorable samurai and therefore above such petty labor. They will wait in the dark until a peasant comes to change it.


How many Liao does it take to change a lightbulb? 13. 1 to change it and a company of Death commandoes to steal a working lightbulb from the Davions.


How many Mariks does it take to change a lightbulb? 0. They sold them all to the FedCom.


What do you call Clan Wolf Elementals riding on Clan Wolf Omnimechs?
Fleas on a mangy dog.

Edited by ShadowWolf Kell, 09 July 2015 - 11:56 AM.

[Weeny Machine]

From the net:




My own:
How many Com Star member does it take to change a lightbulb?
5. One who changes it, 3 who speak prayers, and one ROM agent to make sure that the secret of changing lightbulbs remain with Com Star

What does a broke Awesome pilot do to earn some extra C-Bills? He goes to the local strip club and shows his (A)awesome nipples (Sorry my dear Awesome pilots...after the last cosmetic makeover I couldn't resist)

Edited by Bush Hopper, 09 July 2015 - 11:58 AM.

[CDLord HHGD]

LordKnightFandragon, on 09 July 2015 - 11:34 AM, said:

Definitely not anymore....

If your bad enough for LRM to be OP, your so new that your no scout.....

Tell me that didn't go right over your head...

[Narcissistic Martyr]

Why did the clans invade the inner sphere?

Because their mothers never loved them.



Why did Comstar cross the road (and then murder everyone on the other side)?

Someone found a VHS player on the other side.

[MoonUnitBeta]

The jealous and insecure Atlas Father at the play park overheard a conversation between a Jagermech Father and his Urbanmech Son; Jagermech Father said to his Urbanmech Son, “Urbanmech Son, it doesn’t matter who you are, or what people say you should be, you are capable of anything, and can become whatever you set your mind to.”

This touched the Atlas Father, and, wanting to secure a stronger bond with his son, Atlas Father took aside his Commando Son and repeated exactly what the Jagermech Father said.

Nine months later the Commando Son comes home with a Jenner Wife a new Locust Baby.

Filled with exasperation and rage, Atlas Father went over to Jagermech’s house to tell him what happened and how upset he is with Jagermech Father.

“I followed your advice, and this is what happened to my son! How could you let yours do the same?!” said Atlas Father to Jagermech Father.

Jagermech Father remained motionless for a moment then turned and yelled into the house, “Urbanmech Son! Come down here please. Bring your friends.”
Urbanmech Son came down the stairs followed by four Kit Foxes clad in premium colours. “Yes papa?”
Jagermech Father turned to Atlas Father and said, “This is my son. And this is who he is. I am and always will be proud of him.”

Atlas Father caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror inside of Jagermech’s house. He gazed at his face and touched his cheek where there should have been tears. But there was nothing. Just the chilling effect of cold raw metal. He backed away, with thoughts of his son and how miserable of a Father he is.

Later that night when everyone was asleep, the sound of an AC/20 filled the neighbourhood, and the Atlas Father would never wake again.


Hmm I’m not sure where the humor is.
I just started typing and hoped something would come out of it.
Posting it anyways because it’s a beautiful story.

[Juodas Varnas]

MoonUnitBeta, on 09 July 2015 - 12:47 PM, said:

-snip-

What the hell did i just read?

Edited by Juodas Varnas, 09 July 2015 - 12:51 PM.

[MoonUnitBeta]

Juodas Varnas, on 09 July 2015 - 12:50 PM, said:

What the hell did i just read?

I don’t know... lol

All the jokes I posted so far I’ve made my self.
I think I was going for a joke when the commando came home with a baby, but I don’t know where it went. It turned into something deeper.

Edited by MoonUnitBeta, 09 July 2015 - 12:57 PM.

[Kiyoshi Amaya]

Maxx Blue, on 09 July 2015 - 07:26 AM, said:

That used to be a Sea Fox infested custard until SOMEONE stuck their shark in it.

True, but what does the Sea Fox say?

[Commander Kruge]

What do they call a clanner that looks up into the night sky?

Star Adder.

Edited by Commander Kruge, 09 July 2015 - 04:35 PM.