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The Book Of Armaments Of Jonathan Tanner


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#21 Karl Marlow

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM

Excerpt from Tanners book of armaments on the question of Lurms.

"And so it came to pass that a fool and a wise man arrived in a land that was rich in minerals and fertile land but was also met with frequent storms. So they decided to build houses to protect their families from the wind and rain.

The Wise man found good wood and nails for his house and proceeded to build a good ansd strong hoiuse. The wood kept out the elements and provided comfort for the man and his family. The nails, while many in number, accounted little for their portion of the house but provided support for the entire structure. When the storms came the walls stood firm against the wind and the rain did not touch him.

The foolish man saw what the wise man had done, saw how the nails provided a strong support for the wood, and decided that if few nails could make a structure sturdy then surly a structure build only of nails would be mighty indeed. Thus the man went out and gathered all the nails he could find and proceeded to build his house of nails. For days and days he tried to build his house, tearing down natural walls to cram in more and more nails. He then turned to the foundation and decided that that needed to be nails as well. Despite all his efforts the man found neither safety or comfort within his house of nails and his house was washed away in the storms."

Edited by ThomasMarik, 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM.


#22 MovinTarget

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 04:22 PM

View PostBrawling Bear, on 18 April 2016 - 12:37 PM, said:

I recall a day where the Jaguars touched the borders of Marik... and were instantly repelled.


If they were repelled, it was due to the locals bathing habits (or lack thereof)

#23 MovinTarget

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 04:49 PM

View PostThomasMarik, on 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM, said:

Excerpt from Tanners book of armaments on the question of Lurms.

"And so it came to pass that a fool and a wise man arrived in a land that was rich in minerals and fertile land but was also met with frequent storms. So they decided to build houses to protect their families from the wind and rain.

The Wise man found good wood and nails for his house and proceeded to build a good ansd strong hoiuse. The wood kept out the elements and provided comfort for the man and his family. The nails, while many in number, accounted little for their portion of the house but provided support for the entire structure. When the storms came the walls stood firm against the wind and the rain did not touch him.

The foolish man saw what the wise man had done, saw how the nails provided a strong support for the wood, and decided that if few nails could make a structure sturdy then surly a structure build only of nails would be mighty indeed. Thus the man went out and gathered all the nails he could find and proceeded to build his house of nails. For days and days he tried to build his house, tearing down natural walls to cram in more and more nails. He then turned to the foundation and decided that that needed to be nails as well. Despite all his efforts the man found neither safety or comfort within his house of nails and his house was washed away in the storms."


I'm sorry but could you get to the part where you point out uncoordinated lurm whoring is bad...

Edited by MovinTarget, 18 April 2016 - 04:50 PM.


#24 Cato Zilks

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 04:55 PM

View PostMaxFool, on 18 April 2016 - 03:41 PM, said:


LOL, no one expects Mariks to defend anyones planets, you don't defend even your own planets. While I was Marik I saw several times you ghost dropping Davion planets while Davions were ghost dropping yours (and usually Davions then started defending, kudos for them for actually taking the fights). This grand strategy of not defending your own planets is biting you in the arse, driving competent people away. People want fights not ghost drops.


I hear you Max and I agree that it is total bs. But, for loyalists in a small house who want to take planets we have no option but to start dropping early and ghosting planets. Our pugs wander off and defend wherever there is a line, which is usually the clan front. We need to take slices.

#25 yohon1

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 05:28 PM

View Postshameless, on 18 April 2016 - 01:54 PM, said:

I recall a day when 228, KCOM, and MS ruled the FW battlefield.... oh wait that was yesterday, and pretty much the last three seasons..

why did we let kareta in here

#26 Karl Marlow

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 05:32 PM

View Postyohon1, on 18 April 2016 - 05:28 PM, said:

why did we let kareta in here

We let them in because clowns are amusing.

#27 yohon1

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 05:09 AM

View PostThomasMarik, on 18 April 2016 - 05:32 PM, said:

We let them in because clowns are amusing.

ah ok

#28 Kifferson von doober

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 05:34 AM

Can't help thinking that i'm missing something here

#29 AnimePops

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 09:52 AM

Blessed be Lord Tanner

#30 Fitzhampton

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Posted 24 April 2016 - 09:49 PM

The addition to scouting has brought out another Word of Tanner moment.

And Lord Tanner spoke to the Long Tom saying, "Henceforth, you shall be called Steve, the Left Hand of Jonathan, the Mighty Fist of Tanner and you shall smite my enemies and it shall be good."

#31 Fitzhampton

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 09:30 PM

And the Jonathan said, "Let there be grouping, and there was grouping and much joy!"

"Let us go forth and do the things that going forth requires." Sir Korvius of the Word of Jonathan, inspiring the WJON and allied units when going into battle.

"He'll fight like the third monkey on Noah's ramp." Sir Korvius of the Word of Jonathan, exhorting his men on the ferocity of cornered enemies.

#32 yohon1

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 12:01 AM

PRASE BE

#33 Javin

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 09:23 PM

We have heard your word. We are coming to hear more.

#34 Fitzhampton

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 09:34 PM

And in the midst of battle, Jonathan Tanner sayeth, "I need to kill that Urbanmech like a special needs cat!!" And it was so.

#35 Trynn Allen

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 06:02 PM

View PostThomasMarik, on 18 April 2016 - 03:53 PM, said:

Excerpt from Tanners book of armaments on the question of Lurms.

"And so it came to pass that a fool and a wise man arrived in a land that was rich in minerals and fertile land but was also met with frequent storms. So they decided to build houses to protect their families from the wind and rain.

The Wise man found good wood and nails for his house and proceeded to build a good ansd strong hoiuse. The wood kept out the elements and provided comfort for the man and his family. The nails, while many in number, accounted little for their portion of the house but provided support for the entire structure. When the storms came the walls stood firm against the wind and the rain did not touch him.

The foolish man saw what the wise man had done, saw how the nails provided a strong support for the wood, and decided that if few nails could make a structure sturdy then surly a structure build only of nails would be mighty indeed. Thus the man went out and gathered all the nails he could find and proceeded to build his house of nails. For days and days he tried to build his house, tearing down natural walls to cram in more and more nails. He then turned to the foundation and decided that that needed to be nails as well. Despite all his efforts the man found neither safety or comfort within his house of nails and his house was washed away in the storms."



Me thinks there is a whiff of Wobbies...Come let us discuss your philosphies...yes stand right there...No, no that's not the hummm of a Gauss Rifle warming up...!BLAM! Sorry, I guess it was.

View PostCato Zilks, on 18 April 2016 - 04:55 PM, said:


I hear you Max and I agree that it is total bs. But, for loyalists in a small house who want to take planets we have no option but to start dropping early and ghosting planets. Our pugs wander off and defend wherever there is a line, which is usually the clan front. We need to take slices.


And some of us PUGs look exclusively for the Defense drops, but they are few and far between and time is limited.

#36 Karl Marlow

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 06:13 PM

View PostTrynn Allen, on 09 May 2016 - 06:02 PM, said:


Me thinks there is a whiff of Wobbies...Come let us discuss your philosphies...yes stand right there...No, no that's not the hummm of a Gauss Rifle warming up...!BLAM! Sorry, I guess it was.


Posted Image

#37 Trynn Allen

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 06:23 PM

That's the problem with Wobbies you just can't Torquemada out of anything.

#38 Fitzhampton

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Posted 11 May 2016 - 11:52 AM

As the Scribe of Tanner it is incumbent upon me to pass on his stories. Here is one.

Jonathan Tanner versus Ghost Bear

There was the time when Jonathan Tanner was sent to defend a world against a Clan Ghost Bear incursion. He managed to put together a company of Marik mechwarriors from several different companies, loyalist and mercenary, who were more than willing to fight under his leadership. As the Ghost Bears made planet fall with five stars of mechs, Tanner put his plan into action.

Meeting the Ghost Bear commander on the field of battle, he said “I will only negotiate with the pilot worthy of this ancient artifact.” He then held aloft for all to see, a six pack of vintage, Christmas Bear themed cola (whose name can’t be mentioned because their lawyers are mighty indeed.) As the commander reached out to take the prize, he was challenged. Soon challenges were flying and the duels began. In the end, only one battered and bruised pilot in a heavily damaged Timber Wolf remained. As he accepted his well-earned prize, Jonathan Tanner asked, “What do you plan to do now?” Seeing the company of fresh Marik mechs and pilots eager to do battle, the Ghost Bear champion said, “I plan to go home and place this artifact with my other battle honors.” Then he and the wreckage of the Ghost Bear incursion left the planet. Once again, Jonathan Tanner was victorious!

#39 Dagorlad13

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Posted 13 July 2016 - 04:33 PM

View PostFitzhampton, on 11 May 2016 - 11:52 AM, said:

As the Scribe of Tanner it is incumbent upon me to pass on his stories. Here is one.

Jonathan Tanner versus Ghost Bear

There was the time when Jonathan Tanner was sent to defend a world against a Clan Ghost Bear incursion. He managed to put together a company of Marik mechwarriors from several different companies, loyalist and mercenary, who were more than willing to fight under his leadership. As the Ghost Bears made planet fall with five stars of mechs, Tanner put his plan into action.

Meeting the Ghost Bear commander on the field of battle, he said “I will only negotiate with the pilot worthy of this ancient artifact.” He then held aloft for all to see, a six pack of vintage, Christmas Bear themed cola (whose name can’t be mentioned because their lawyers are mighty indeed.) As the commander reached out to take the prize, he was challenged. Soon challenges were flying and the duels began. In the end, only one battered and bruised pilot in a heavily damaged Timber Wolf remained. As he accepted his well-earned prize, Jonathan Tanner asked, “What do you plan to do now?” Seeing the company of fresh Marik mechs and pilots eager to do battle, the Ghost Bear champion said, “I plan to go home and place this artifact with my other battle honors.” Then he and the wreckage of the Ghost Bear incursion left the planet. Once again, Jonathan Tanner was victorious!


This vexes Star Commander IronClaws! I must now question the purpose of of my mission and the future of the 25th Auxiliary Cluster.

#40 BaconTWOfourACTUAL

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Posted 14 July 2016 - 06:30 AM

Lets talk about those Capellians...
With their Kung Fu and all that silly Ching Chang Chong talk...
We can't understand youuuuu.
Go back to your region
*raises fist*...Jonathan Tanner.

Don't let House Kurita tell you how to think and feel...
If you hate the Lyrians.... Let it out.
If you don't like that stupid Blue Fisted banner, don't mean there's somethin wrong with you.
That means there is somethin wrong with Tharkad.
*raises fist* ...Jonathan Tanner.


(For clarification... this is a play on Dave Chappelle's Clayton Bigsby)





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