29 replies to this topic

[Bastard Ken]

*Prize may be purely conceptual, fictional or non-existent. Side effects of prize may include vomit on your sweater already, mom's spaghetti. Consult your doctor to see if Fabulous Prizes is right for you.

As all true MechWarriors are philosopher-poets and clients of Calliope, I'm mortified that there is no dedicated sub-forum for the display of fine verse in direct competition with deadly rivals. This "Fan-Art" forum will have to suffice for now.

I throw the floor open for all wordsmiths, dreamers, and comedians to display their talent. Haiku, limericks, odes, ballades, edda, villanelle. Show us your meter.

I'll open the thread with a little number I stole from Lord Tennyson put together to commemorate the Pyrrhic assault by Clan Hell's Horses on Luthien circa 3033 in PoptartsNinjas AU Battletech LP.

Quote

Half a hex, half a hex,
  Half a hex onward,
All in the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred five four?
'Forward, the Goon Brigade!
Charge the Grand Dragon! he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred five four?

'Forward, the Goon Brigade!'
Was there a clanner dismay'd?
Not tho' the warriors knew
  The ilKhan had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to overheat and fry:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred five four?

Gauss Rifles to the right of them,
Gauss Rifles to the left of them,
An Atlas in front of them
  Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with SRMs and MAN MADE LIGHTNING,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
  Rode the six hundred five four?.

Flash'd all their lasers ER,
Flash'd as they turned in air
Lasering the Coordinator there,
Charging the Otomo while
  All the thread wonder'd:
Plunged in the autocannon-smoke
Right thro' the Sword of Light they broke;
Panther and Jenner
Reel'd from the laser-stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred five four.

Gauss Rifles to right of them,
Gauss Rifles to left of them,
Yorinaga behind them
  Volley'd and MAN MADE thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While ‘mech and warrior fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
  Left of six hundred five four.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
  All the thread wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Goon Brigade,
  Noble six hundred five four!

[BenEEeees VAT GROWN BACON]

I came for a prize,
but all I got were lies
by some B-astard who called himself Ken

Shouldn't have be suprised
by affiliates of Liaos
who think the rules are there to be bent

I'm going home for sushi and rye
Feeding as I sigh
sitting at home without pants.

Stare I shall at the pending screen; every batch I mumble Scheiße!

Edited by BenEEeees VAT GROWN BACON, 20 July 2012 - 04:10 AM.

[Bastard Ken]

A Drac' who sells bacon
came in here a 'fakin
and plotting to steal the prize

His rhymes get forgotten
His vat-pig is rotten
and he says it's Liao who lies

He flees to his sandwich
and loses his pants which
should come as no kind of surprise

For Kuritan belt leather
can't stand up to the weather
and like BenEEeee's customers, dies.

[Saga Koto]

Cold steel heating up--
the HUD flickering to life.
The ground shakes with fear.

Edited by Saga Koto, 20 July 2012 - 04:23 AM.

[Ultraviper]

Ode to an Atlas
O big rig.

[Bastard Ken]

Saga Koto, on 20 July 2012 - 04:23 AM, said:

Cold steel heating up--
the HUD flickering to life.
The ground shakes with fear.

That last line might be 6 syllables (fe-ar? not sure), but good work!

Legs burned black
Neural feedback overload
Tears in the rain

[Saga Koto]

******* Ken, on 20 July 2012 - 04:36 AM, said:

That last line might be 6 syllables (fe-ar? not sure), but good work!

Legs burned black
Neural feedback overload
Tears in the rain

There are many variants. The most common being 5-7-5 syllable count. So that's what I went with. Any dictionary I can find shows fear as being a one-syllable word. Fear [feer] (well that and just sounding it out)

Edited by Saga Koto, 20 July 2012 - 06:00 AM.

[starkk]

Nine Small Lasers:

Nine small lasers hit
Up close and personally
Pink beams of terror

[Nekki Basara]

Saga Koto, on 20 July 2012 - 05:58 AM, said:

There are many variants. The most common being 5-7-5 syllable count. So that's what I went with. Any dictionary I can find shows fear as being a one-syllable word. Fear [feer] (well that and just sounding it out)

Poetry is really weird. From my half-remembered Latin poetry "fear" would be a short syllable followed by a long in most metres. I don't know how well a Japanese form being fit in English would adhere to those rules though.

[Gabopentin]

Roses r red
Violets r blue
My Urbie got creamed
How about you.

[Feindfeuer]

Gabopentin, on 20 July 2012 - 08:16 AM, said:

Roses r red
Violets r blue
My Urbie got creamed
How about you.

I know it's not nice changing other peoples stuff, but why not go:
Kurita is red,
Steiner is blue,
My Urbie got creamed
how about you

[Gabopentin]

O wondrous Atlas how I envied you
Till I got my Cat
Then slaughtered you

Edited by Gabopentin, 20 July 2012 - 09:05 AM.

[Jfrost]

See the original post here: psychology of a cheater

Viper69 and myself created this little gem:

People have cheated since man started keeping score.
From stick ball to kick ball and even connect four,
When winning means more than a game's enjoyment,
The user desperately needs some employment.

[Bastard Ken]

To keep things moving, a modification of the Fencing Ballade from the play and movie Cyrano de Bergerac. It was developed on a different site, so there may be some cultural translation issues. Please ask if you have any questions!

Quote

Goons: [as if saying a lesson] The trollade is composed of three stanzas of eight lines each ...
Pubbies: [stamps with his feet] Oh!
Goons: [continuing] And an envoi of four.
Pubbies: You ...
Goons: I will with the same breath fight you and compose one. And, at the last line, I will alpha strike.
Pubbies: You will run too hot!
Goons: No? ... [Declaiming]
Trollade of the duel which in Solaris house
Monsieur de Lowtax fought with a jackanape ...
Pubbies: And what is that, if you please?
Goons: That is the title.
[ ... ]
Goons: [closing his eyes a second] Wait. I am settling upon the rhymes. There. I have them. [in declaiming, he suits the action to the word]
With my Hunchback made lighter,
And more small lasers stored,
I stand, mech and warrior,
To do and to record.
I bow, I draw my sword ...
En garde! Like a swooping shrike
I charge you with my zord ...
At the last line, alpha strike!
[They begin duelling]
You should have been politer;
Where had you best be gored?
The left side or the right — ah?
Or next your myomer cord?
Or where the ammo is stored?
Engine, to make heat spike?
Come we to quick accord ...
At the last line, alpha strike!
Your fat mech can’t turn tighter,
You can so ill afford
Your foe a shot at your rear
You fire at me — I ward —
Initiative restored.
Allow one last misstrike! ...
Poor aim gets no reward
Before I alpha strike!
[He announces solemnly]
Envoi
The audience grows bored! ...
I jump ... line up my guns ...
I shoot! ... I keep my word!
[The Pubbie staggers, Goon bows.]
At the last line, alpha strike

[Lyon]

The Thunderbolt pilot quickly climbs the chainladder.
Never touches hot armor.
Hot coolant quietly drips from a gaping hole.
The Steiners attacked, what social general?
Never a Kurita when you need one.

[Foresale]

******* Ken, on 20 July 2012 - 04:20 AM, said:

A Drac' who sells bacon
came in here a 'fakin
and plotting to steal the prize

His rhymes get forgotten
His vat-pig is rotten
and he says it's Liao who lies

He flees to his sandwich
and loses his pants which
should come as no kind of surprise

For Kuritan belt leather
can't stand up to the weather
and like BenEEeee's customers, dies.

I just....did I.....was that just some kind of Battletech themed rap battle I just saw?

[Bastard Ken]

Less of a battle, more of a thumping
I guess you're next, Uziel Hunting
You came to this thread and you read the words
So how was it that the message of them went unheard?
We're here to wage rhyme war, grinding and shunting
Word of Lowtax gunna win it, put out the flags and bunting
Our flow's so fierce got the clans running scared.
Comstar's sending out our message
So you best be prepared.

[Straw boss]

*Ahem*

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue

I've got a Beta Key
U mad Bro?

[Bastard Ken]

Mechs run on fusion,
Space is a void

NDA violation
No, I'm not annoyed.

[Straw boss]

Draks paint it red,
Steins paint it blue,

Scratch that last,
I don't want to get sued.