3435 replies to this topic

[Mech42Ace]

Sizzles has ridden the mighty moon worm.

[Sparks Murphey]

The day will come when Mech42Ace will utter the words that will end the universe. No one really knows what those words are, since, if they did, the universe would have ended already, however teams of special agents work around the clock to limit the expansion of his vocabulary and keep him from uttering anything he hasn't already said.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 08 February 2015 - 05:49 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sparks Murphey doesn't realize we can just cut his tongue out and end the threat.

[Mech42Ace]

StompingOnTanks, on 08 February 2015 - 11:39 AM, said:

Sparks Murphey doesn't realize we can just cut his tongue out and end the threat.

StompingOnTanks doesn't realize that Im lost in the twighlight zone. Be it that fact no one knows where I am.
Between the rock bottom that is mortal man's fears and the summit of his achievements.

Edited by Mech42Ace, 08 February 2015 - 03:10 PM.

[Sizzles]

Mech Ace once piloted a Spider into orbit.

[Lordred]

Sizzles is the head of an elite group that monitors and patrols the multi-verse. Hos code name is Twilight, many fans of something completely unrelated hang on his every breath.

[Nightmare1]

Lordred struggles to spell three-letter, monosyllabic words.

The last time he participated in a spelling bee, it ended in mass chaos and panic. Fifteen regiments of infantry and twelve battalions of BattleMechs were needed to restore order. To this day, that planet, the name of which I am not at liberty to divulge, still does not allow the use of three-letter, monosyllabic words outside of the presence of an audio dictionary.

The pain is still just too fresh!

[Sizzles]

Nightmare attempted to buy Greece off of ebay during its economic downfall.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sizzles attempted to sell 1,300 cubic feet of airspace to a private owner. Not the land underneath. Just the airspace.

[Nightmare1]

StompingOnTanks knows this because he was the person who bought said airspace!

He also purchased some ocean-front property from me in Arizona. We're currently in contract negotiations over the Golden Gate Bridge. He wants me to throw in an extra cable for the zipline that I included in the package, but I am insisting that he provide his own.

[StompingOnTanks]

Nightmare1 and I think that selling realistic real estate boring.

Plus, it's not nearly as profitable, obviously. Watch. In 10 years my 1,300 cubic feet of airspace and that ocean front property in Arizona will overlap, and I'll build my walking mechanical doom fortress!

(I had to buy the airspace because I can't have airplanes flying through my 1,300 foot cubic walking fortress while I'm trying to build it, of course. Any mastermind knows that.)

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 09 February 2015 - 12:12 PM.

[TheSilken]

Stomping is the one who is to blame for my recent contempt of pugs. Y Stomping y?! You're sabotaging my game!

[Sizzles]

Pimp recently managed to convince Stomping to invest in the Flamer Market.

They expect to make a return on investment within the next decade or so.

StompingOnTanks, on 09 February 2015 - 03:38 AM, said:

Sizzles attempted to sell 1,300 cubic feet of airspace to a private owner. Not the land underneath. Just the airspace.

He wanted to try playing Sky Block in real life. Who was I to dissuade him?

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles once tried to launch a line of chewy hard candy that was loaded with popular spices. The titular "Sizzles" line of candy ingeniously fit itself into the niche market of hot and spicy candy lovers. Unfortunately, Sizzles failed to estimate the effect that the chewiness would have on exacerbating the "hot" index of his candy. This led to scorched mouths and blackened tongues in focus group tests. Despite these setbacks, Sizzles attempted to launch his self-named candy line on the American markets. However, that was when he discovered his second mistake; he had failed to account for the Skittles candy line. Sizzles quickly learned that the average American consumer preferred chewy sweet candies to burning hot candy chews. On top of that, Skittles launched a lawsuit against him over the use of the letter "S" to stamp the hard shells of his candies, as well as the colors he employed. As a result, Sizzles was forced to abort his candy line and fade back into the populace as just another ordinary citizen.

However, on certain nights when the moon is just right, Sizzles sneaks into the Skittles factory and spikes their candy basins with some of his leftover "Sizzles." The result is that about 1 in every 1,000,000,000 bags of Skittles contains trojan "Sizzles."

Currently, he plans to start another chewy candy line, this one called "Sizzlers." Twizzlers is currently sending him cease and desist warnings.

[StompingOnTanks]

Nightmare1 is a sentient sandwich.

[Sparks Murphey]

"StompingOnTanks" is what my phone suggests is the most likely word to follow when I type in "Not even". Not even StompingOnTanks can explain this.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 12 February 2015 - 05:28 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sparks Murphey is correct.

He is also the author of the modernized version of "The Little Engine That Could".

Spoiler

[StompingOnTanks]

Marack Drock has signed his own death warrant, and tomorrow one of my Terminators will come for him.

Unless his real name is John Connor in which case I'm in some deep ****.

[StompingOnTanks]

Marack Drock is confused. I have actually declared war on 9Gag.

Spoiler

Why? It's full of reposted and recycled content, and I'm pretty sure that over 50% of the community is full of arrogant, ignorant, Northern and Western European ******** who bash America, Americans, American culture, and religion non stop without any knowledge or basis of the subject. Just to add to the fun there's also boatloads of antisemitism. That website went a long way towards ruining my desire to go to Europe in general (there are other reasons why, obviously I wouldn't judge an entire continent based on the community of one website). If there is one website I could take down forever it would be 9Gag and its entire community of ******.

I'm just mad. Sorry. I really need to stop going to that site.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 12 February 2015 - 06:41 PM.

[Sparks Murphey]

As part of the Absurd Weapons Division, StompingOnTanks was crucial in designing an 800-rated extralight fusion engine for Marack Drock's project to build time-travelling 'Mech. Unfortunately, though it can propel an Atlas above the required 142 km/h, it weighs more than 5 times as much as the 'Mech itself. Doctor Stomping is working on an extraextraextraextralight version he hopes will work.