3435 replies to this topic

[XphR]

Sparks revolutionized the binary systems of Nightmare by updating the puppies to have the possibility of being orange. Thus becoming a much more robust Orange Puppy Trinary.

[Sizzles]

XphR is what he eats. So he is a small green elephant.

[Sparks Murphey]

Sizzles said what again.

[Sizzles]

Spa-spa-Sparks Murphey, Lover of the Lyran Queen,

There was a cat that really was gone,

Spa-Spa-Sparks Murphey Jaguars greatest love machine,

It was a shame how he carried on~

(He really does love that Katherine character.)

Edited by Sizzles, 20 April 2016 - 08:21 AM.

[MarineTech]

Sizzles.... Is completely mental.

I have been assured of this. I have assurances.

[Sizzles]

Its not a fun fact.

But Marine has forgotten how to have fun.

Its quite depressing really.

[MarineTech]

Sizzles... Has the uncanny ability, to give me a sad.

And he's mental. Completely mental.

[Sizzles]

Marine is just peeved that he wasn't accepted into the Ministry of Silly walks, and I was.

[MarineTech]

Sizzles was once the victim of a bizarre fish slapping incident.

[Sparks Murphey]

MarineTech once tried to cut down Sizzles with a haddock.

[Nightmare1]

Sparks believes that The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wildlife documentary. He only saw the first ten minutes though, so he believes that all the porpoises flew away into space and that the Earth is now utterly devoid of them. He spends his days flying a DropShip around space searching for the porpoises. Instead of Mechbays, he has large aquariums. Having seen Star Trek: The Journey Home, he believes that he can adopt Captain Kirk's whale restoration plan to fit porpoises instead. However, he isn't having much luck finding space porpoises.

Those of us in Jettisoned support and encourage him though, occasionally sending him space porpoise sightings gleaned from the 'net. Like a shooting star, Sparks will fly off to one of the sightings in search of the porpoises. We all hope that one day, the poor boy may find peace.

In the meantime, we'll keep sending him junk data while laughing at him behind his back.

[wanderer]

Nightmare1 is actually a space porpoise. Or a chicken, boo.

[Nightmare1]

Wanderer is a packet of ketchup, laying in the great bucket of ketchup packets at his local Wendy's burger joint whilst contemplating his existence. Is being torn asunder to have your guts squeezed out, truly an occupation worth living? These and many other thoughts trouble him daily as grubby hands reach into his bucket and grab fistfuls of his brothers and sisters.

His brooding thoughts wend towards darkness. How dare these hands dictate his future? How dare they rend his his family, his home, his dreams? The madness must stop! Wandered has resolved that a new day is dawning, one that shall not be ruled by fear of the clutching, groping hands, but by love, joy, and peace for all ketchup-ness. "Let the revolution begin!" he thunders to his neighbors in his bucket one night, "We shall rise up and throw off these shackles of oppression! Gather around now and listen to what I have planned..."

The next day, little Linda Jane raised up on tip-toe to reach her dainty little fingers into the ketchup bucket for a packet. Her exploring, delicate little fingers met with something wet and sticky instead of the plastic and squishy sensation of a ketchup packet. Surprised, she pulled her hand back out of the bucket and discovered her fingers were red, RED!

Shrieking, she ran to her mother in tears, hand help aloft, fingers splayed, the redness visible for all to see. Oh, the horror! The packets had revolted, sacrificing a few volunteers of their own to spread the redness that was within them atop the uppermost layer of their bodies with the intent of redding the first groping, clutching, plunging hand that may reach into their home. Alas, poor Linda! To have the juice of tomatoes coating her hand so suddenly!

Chuckling grimly, wanderer said, "That is but the first strike of our revolution! From now on, every hand that reaches into us shall be streaked red with the blood of the slain until our attackers are so shaken by the spectacle that they dare not reach into our bucket again! Quick! Bring me more disside-, er, I mean volunteers who will sacrifice themselves for the greater good!"

Unbeknownst to wanderer though, his greatest enemy was now approaching. Driven by the complaints of Linda's mother, the dreaded Stocker was now approaching. His sole purpose? To remove the offending redness and add more ketchup packets to the bowl.

Would wanderer's plan succeed? Would the Stocker undo all the sacrifices of the ketchup packets? Stay tuned until next week for the exciting conclusion of, "To splorp, or not to splorp; that tears it!"

[Sizzles]

Nightmare isnt full of hot air.

He's full of Hydrogen.

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles once tried to solve a differential equation. Stumped, he turned to his college professor and asked for help. The professor solved it in a heartbeat. Surprised at how quickly he found the answer, Sizzles asked, "How did you ever manage to solve that differential equation so fast?"

The professor answer, "Elementary, my dear Sizzles, elementary."

[Sizzles]

Nightmare is currently in possession of all the irradiated vehicles that were previously in the various Chernobyl vehicle graveyards.

Word is that hes trying to become a ghoul. Or at least a human glow light.

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles earned his nickname while staying at a mental institute for the disturbingly challenged. One day, the head doctor was conducting yet another examination on Sizzles after yet another one of Sizzles' escapades when he remarked, "You know, the way this fella's brain is wired, you can almost here the fuses blowing!" After that, it became a standing joke that Sizzles' head was a fried egg, and that you could hear it "Sizzling."

For the record, this is not much exaggerated. The doctor had his staff discreetly record Sizzles throughout his stay at the mental health institute. Below are some video files that were only recently made public.

[MarineTech]

Nightmare knows WAY too much about TV shows from 30 years ago.

What's next? Hunter? Airwolf?

[Nightmare1]

Ernst Borgnine was MarineTech's stunt double. Prior to popular belief, it was not actually Ernst who acted out most of AirWolf's dialogue scenes. It was actually MarineTech himself! This was covered up when MarineTech launched his bid for Presidency earlier this year. His campaign manager was worried that the media might make something out of MarineTech's duplicity. It became such a weight on the poor man's mind that MarineTech voluntarily quit the race for the good of his campaign manager. Had he not done so, there is a distinct possibility that he might actually be the GOP frontrunner instead of Trump.

For proof that it is MarineTech and not Ernst, compare the two pictures below. One is MarineTech on the stage of Airwolf while the other is Ernst on the set of McHale's Navy. As you can see, MarineTech has a much more prominent gap between his two front teeth, as well as considerably more wrinkles on his forehead, despite only being a young, strapping 32 years old in the Airwolf photo.

[MarineTech]

Dude... I was 14 when that show came out.

Nightmare has a very difficult time estimating the age of people he's never met. He actually has difficulty with time in general. This comes from taking a tachyon to the forehead when he was 8.