3435 replies to this topic

[Nightmare1]

AWOL 01, on 12 March 2015 - 10:43 AM, said:

Nightmare1 knows BerserX created the Squirrel Meat Diner (also known as McSquirrel's) because he himself is a squirrel. His father and mother, who was actually some type of rat, were victims of Chicken with a Car, after which he followed the strange man who took his family to the restaurant where he found, to his horror, hundreds his dead brethren. From that day forward he has assumed the identity of Man-Squirrel: Destroyer of Evil by day. By night he is a sleeping squirrel, obviously.

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XphR's favorite sport is lick the stamp. He's so good at it that the US Postal Service offered him a multi-million dollar contract to be its professional stamp licker. He was poised to sign it too, but then someone invented the adhesive-backed stamp. Now he lives in a box in the shadow of his BattleMech, a broken man and the victim of the creative destruction of entrepreneurship.

[MarineTech]

Nightmare1 is spending his spare time trying to breed a boneless squirrel for use in making boneless squirrel strips for BeserX's diner. The squirrels are getting rather annoyed at him intruding into their love lives.

Edited by MarineTech, 12 March 2015 - 11:50 AM.

[AWOL 01]

MarineTech fails to realize how difficult it would be to breed so-called "boneless" squirrel.

[MarineTech]

AWOL 01 fails to appreciate the full depths of MarineTech's insanity genius and has a tendency to underestimate the lengths to which he'd go for a chuckle.

[Sparks Murphey]

MarineTech was putting the final touches on his online store for tiny hats, when he realised squirrels don't know how to use the internet. He adapted his plans, and has since started the Sciuridae School of Information Technology. So far, Nightmare1 is his only student.

[MarineTech]

Sparks Murphey once developed a brilliant cure for ennui, unfortunately the details were blotted out from his mind due to a rogue drop bear attack in a park.

[Sparks Murphey]

Ouch, that was a close shot on the guy with depression issues about being unemployable (you didn't know, though, so no foul).

MarineTech is water resistant to 500m. His organs, however, are not.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sparks Murphey keeps a super soaker under his bed filled with holy water in case the world famous Australian VampWereWolf comes for him. He already got into a knife fight with it five times, before he decided that replacing limbs, vital organs, and spines after having them ripped out is both excruciatingly inconveniently painful and prohibitively expensive.

His previous solution was to simply keep buying bigger knives. Eventually he discovered that buying 30 foot long steel swords also got prohibitively expensive, and made your neighbors look at you funny. But you know what, let's see YOU try to go up against the VampWereWolf with anything less than a 30 foot sword and let's see how well YOU hold out. So we don't blame you, Sparks. Except we do. Because it's the blame thread.

Bottom line, don't buy a 30 foot sword unless you're trying to kill a 60 foot monster. But honestly at that point, you'd be better off just calling animal control and running for you life, but that's not the fun way to deal with the problem.

Edited by StompingOnTanks, 13 March 2015 - 05:41 PM.

[XphR]

Stomping has spent the last ten years funding the great drop bear revival. Soon the vast systems of underground vats will be mature and the drop bears will go into the cybernetic enhancement facilities by the tens of thousands, coming out the other side augmented, educated and enraged. Australia will be forced into succumbing to leadership by a mecha drop bear that Stomping himself will pilot.

[Nightmare1]

The funny thing is, XphR doesn't actually know what a Drop Bear is...

[XphR]

Nightmare1 is an employed disseminator of my ministry of miss-information. Carry on and the c-bills will continue to flow.

Quick get some Vegemite, one escaped before we fitted the control chip!

Edited by XphR, 14 March 2015 - 04:54 PM.

[MarineTech]

XphR is not aware of it, but this is all a dream provoked by his subconscious after suffering a drop bear attack.

[Sparks Murphey]

MarineTech was disappointed that the hoop snake didn't actually exist, so he created the wheel spider instead.

[Sizzles]

Sparks recently got an electrochemical gas detector in his place of work. But for fun he decided to try it out in his office.

After throwing away the instruction manual and ensuring that the batteries were inserted in the properly, he turned it on . . .

And was surprised to find that the atmosphere of his office was mostly comprised of methane and radon, with some oxygen and trace amounts of insanity.


Edit: font size.

Edited by Sizzles, 14 March 2015 - 05:57 PM.

[MarineTech]

Sizzles once engaged in a detailed and long-running mind control experiment in an attempt to control lemurs. The experiment didn't produce any conclusive success in mind control, but it did annoy the lemurs.

[XphR]

MarineTech runs a corporation that specializes in litigation on behalf for annoyed Lemurs. However as Lemurs are statistically difficult to annoy he secretly funded Sizzles mind control experimentation. Knowing fully that it would fail in any meaningful control and have a high probability in annoying the normally complacent species.

[StompingOnTanks]

XphR was running a cheesey wooden lemonade stand at the Battle of Tukkayid so parched MechWarriors could refresh themselves. He made about $2,000,000 in quarters.

[Hayashi]

Stomping on tanks had the Bad Company title from stepping on a tank that promptly suffered an ammo explosion.

[Nightmare1]

Hayashi once tried to divide by zero. Even now, 50 years later, he still has to attend his mathematical and psychiatric treatment sessions as he attempts to overcome the incredible damage he sustained to his psyche and calculating skills.

There are some things with which man should simply not meddle.

[MarineTech]

Nightmare1 is an expert at creating imaginary numbers. One of which, he named Fred. Fred the Number.