Non-Combat Tips (Parody List)
#181
Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:53 PM
450. Though it is not necessary to use ALL of the weapon hardpoints on a given mech, kudos to you if you do.
451. Despite what your speed-crazy fellow pilots may tell you, not EVERYTHING needs an XL engine and not EVERYTHING 55 tons or under needs to be moving at 80KPH to be effective.
452. Cartoon Network is really distracting, for the wrong reasons. Please don't play it over vidcom while on missions.
(Little brother is watching cartoons and my IQ has dropped so low I can't think of anything. )
#182
Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:03 PM
StompingOnTanks, on 03 March 2014 - 04:53 PM, said:
(Little brother is watching cartoons and my IQ has dropped so low I can't think of anything. )
Now imagine being stuck with Telletubbies or Boobahs (or whatever they were called)
Makes you miss Barney, let alone Mr Rogers or (DECENT! IE Pre-Elmo's World!) Sesame Street.
#183
Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:23 PM
Shar Wolf, on 03 March 2014 - 05:03 PM, said:
Makes you miss Barney, let alone Mr Rogers or (DECENT! IE Pre-Elmo's World!) Sesame Street.
What the heck happened to Edd Ed n' Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Toonami, and Megas XlR?
#184
Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:25 PM
StompingOnTanks, on 03 March 2014 - 05:23 PM, said:
Never watched those.
We took the TV (not the monitor - the shows, still watch movies) out of our house back..... I don't remember how long ago.
...haven't really missed it either...
#185
Posted 03 March 2014 - 05:29 PM
Shar Wolf, on 03 March 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:
We took the TV (not the monitor - the shows, still watch movies) out of our house back..... I don't remember how long ago.
...haven't really missed it either...
The only thing I really need a TV for is gaming and the occasional movie too, but my parents are obsessed with cable shows.
#189
Posted 03 March 2014 - 06:00 PM
#190
Posted 03 March 2014 - 06:07 PM
#191
Posted 03 March 2014 - 06:08 PM
MADNESS!
On topic in the off-topic forum?
Equal madness, but here ya go!
454: You are not allowed to be off-topic in the off-topic forum.
NINJA!
Edited by Shar Wolf, 03 March 2014 - 06:08 PM.
#193
Posted 03 March 2014 - 07:55 PM
457. You are not to name your mech "Souxsie" Just because your other three lancemates are piloting Banshees.
458. The SHD stands for Shadowhawk, not Shady. Please stop asking the Shadowhawk pilots to "please stand up"
#194
Posted 03 March 2014 - 09:23 PM
StompingOnTanks, on 03 February 2014 - 01:30 PM, said:
These are general tips and bits of advice that, while generally not useful in the heat of combat, may save you a tongue-lashing or two from your CO.
1. Orbital space defense systems are not to be referred to as "Death Stars".
2. The Autocannon on your Centurion's right arm is not pump-action.
3. "They only cost 1,000,000 CB" is not a valid excuse to use your own battalion's Locusts as target practice.
4. Generally speaking, you should not refer to torso-mounted PPCs as "Nipple Lasers of Doom."
5. Your female Commanding Officer is not interested in your Yen-Lo.
6. You generally shouldn't refer to those under your command as your "Evil Minions".
7. Hitting on Elementals of the opposite sex is generally bad for your dental health.
8. Despite what you may have read on your PDI, "Nuking It From Orbit" is not usually a viable tactic.
9. LBX Autocannons are not "Boomsticks".
10. The proper military designations for the left and right arm weapons on your Warhammer are not "Thunder" and "Lightning", despite what they may look or sound like.
10. Taking your commander's mech out for a "test drive" while he is napping is not okay.
11. Pressing the "Override Emergency Shutdown" button while laser-spamming in said commander's mech is NEVER okay.
12. "I thought you said you didn't like it" is not an excuse for exploding your commander's mech.
13. The MechLab engineers will not install an AC/20 on your mech's front pelvis no matter how many times you ask.
14. While piloting a Light BattleMech, you will usually be ignored if you ask larger 'Mechs for a "piggyback ride".
15. "I'm out of ammo!" is not an excuse to retreat from battle while piloting an Awesome AWS-8Q.
Have fun out there.
Nathan Foxbane, on 03 February 2014 - 02:10 PM, said:
17. The CO frowns up being called "The Old Man." This goes double for female officers.
18. What the CO doesn't know can't hurt him/her. If he/she finds out, it will hurt you.
19. Your dropship is a transport not a shield. Using it for the latter is frowned upon.
20. Orbital bombardment of the objective area to "soften up" the enemy is not OK and the collateral damage is never "within acceptable limits."
21. Infantry are not "squishies" and tankers are not "crunchies" no matter how they sound when your 'Mech steps on them.
22. For the love of all that is holy do not call the anti-'Mech infantry "squishes" to their face.
23. The crew chief does not like it when you personally make modifications to your 'Mech without consulting him/her first. See tip 24.
24. No matter what you think, your 'Mech does not belong to you. It belongs to your crew chief and bringing his/her baby back in one piece makes him/her very happy.
25. The tankers in your unit are never amused when they find "Step on me" signs on top of their tanks.
26. Mocking Elementals is hazardous to your health.
27. Putting "Shoot me" signs anywhere on the CO's 'Mech is frowned upon.
This just made my night. I flat out fell off the bed reading these.
Now if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna have to read the whole thread now.
#195
Posted 03 March 2014 - 11:13 PM
#196
Posted 04 March 2014 - 05:57 AM
#197
Posted 04 March 2014 - 06:09 AM
Edited by Xanilos, 04 March 2014 - 06:09 AM.
#198
Posted 04 March 2014 - 10:08 AM
StompingOnTanks, on 03 March 2014 - 04:53 PM, said:
459. you will NEVER put XL on a Atlas under pain of cleaning the entire lances mechs your Atlas wont forgive you , your lance wont forgive you , the enemy will have no forgiveness and laugh as they take out your side and you go down because of it and your crew chief will feed you your own intestines for doing that as well
460. do not anger the crew chief
461. even more important is never hit on a female crew member or crew chief they can and will get revenge on you so if you do fake illness ,break your leg shoot ,you self in your foot just dont go into battle
#199
Posted 04 March 2014 - 10:41 AM
462. Telling a banshee pilot that his mech looks like a kintaro/battlemaster is unwise if you like all of your teeth.
Edited by Xanilos, 04 March 2014 - 10:42 AM.
#200
Posted 04 March 2014 - 10:59 AM
Xanilos, on 04 March 2014 - 10:41 AM, said:
I've broken 1000 damage several times in an XL400 atlas.
what model cause if its in a brawler type then holy god i bow my head to you ...that and i wonder what sort of people your facing since rule one of killing a atlas in to kill the right torso
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